He has been sleeping from afternoon and been awake the hole night.

[curlygirl84]

He went to sleep from 5 in afternoon and been sleeping ever sense. The kids went to bed as their usual time at 8. Had nothing to do with theme. He has been up the hole night been doing f all.. now they are up. Am I in the wrong from nothing doing nothing and not get them ready for school and nursery?

I can’t seem to thing this is a cruel and nasty person trying to prove a point?
I am depressed and from yesterdays heated conversation he has not said one word to me.. I am not sure if I can cope anymore,, I am so lost and upset…

I am not saying working night is hard. I know the feeling.. but that do not excuse his behaviour when he treats me and the house like a hotel.. sleep eat and expect me to do everything...

I have no choice to get kids ready I always will do that I am there mum.. they always come to me for everything... we have lived together for 7 years and he don't even know the half of were things are or when I ask him to sort them out he don't know where things are...

He brings income home??? you say.. but what income if most of the income goes to bills and hardly have anything left after when I pay for the rent and council tax....

we can afford anything nice because most goes on his habit.. AND when I talk about it Is like know one can't tell him what do.....smh...

thank you for your respond.. I have done it... but I am fed up...

no I don't work stopped working few years ago due to health condition..
I couldn't even if I could...

He brings income home??? you say.. but what income if most of the income goes to bills and hardly have anything left after when I pay for the rent and council tax....

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Unfortunately that's life I'm afraid when you have kids. It will go on bills. Especially at the moment everyone's struggling.

If he has a habit then you either need to dump him or address it.

his hours are 23:00pm to 7am.

he leaves 22;40pm and come home at 7;00am or 7.30am

he normally goes to sleep after 9 or 10am

When you say his money goes in his habit, do you mean he takes drugs/drinks?

yes he is a smoker..w..if you know what I mean...

You can’t expect him to do 50% when he’s working and you’re not.
Working nights is horrible, they made me sick and I’ll never work them again.
I think you need to reduce your expectations or move on. You’d be better off on your own so you wouldn’t have your anger/resentment towards him.

So sleeps from 10am-6/7pm then up for a few hours then work?
I couldn't handle that on an ongoing basis.

YES... I am aware of it... I know it is tough out there for everyone.... I feel like I know having kids too is more expensive.. but if I know this how come he can walk and do anything he likes...just because he works the money aint enough... I have address it to him. he don't care so why should I??

Having a job isn’t a free pass to opt out of being a parent for a man, he can’t do 50/50 but of course he should still be parenting his kids. He sounds like yet another man who thinks having children should make his life easier.

I agree.. he don't take no responsibility.. and when he don't work he except to go out to his friends and have drink and come home late in the morning..

he never want to talk to me... he prefers talking to his dad or other family member..

But if he’s going to work on shifts of course his sleep patterns will be a mess.

If the deal is that he works and that you take on the majority of the child care what is it that’s now wrong?

So he is a weed addict?

You have to get out of this relationship. It's bringing nothing to your life or your children's lives except shit.

OP, what do you want to happen?

From what I can gather of your posts (sorry but they are a little confusing and you are drip feeding a lot)
He works nights and earns enough to cover all your household bills when combined with benefits, with a little left over
You are unable to work due to chronic health conditions
You do 100% of the childcare and housework
You feel he sleeps excessively, possibly to avoid family life
If you ask him to help with the kids/house, he says he is too tired
You have asked him to go to relationship counselling but he has refused

Do you love him? Do you think he loves you? What would your life look like without him in it?

At the moment you sound eaten up with resentment which is probably not helping your health condition. If you knew that you were doing 100% of everything and didn't have expectations of him helping, would that make things easier for you?

I’m not doing anything…. I am waiting on counselling sense beginning of this year and I am still waiting…

So he’s not too tired to go out with his friends and drink until the early hours, he’s just to tired to play any role in family life? Yeah, I’d be looking to leave.

I’m am sorry.. I am new to this and I am trying to put as much I can on here…

I want him to help out on days he is not working,,, i didn’t make these kids on my own if I did then none if this would happened.. I want him to acknowledge me that I am not coping and he. Needs to step up,,,

i do love him because I will always have love for him.
but I am not in love with him no more,…

the answer to your question.. Is if I do everything 100% which I am already do, yes things will be much better .. I will have peace in my heart…

Start smoking his weed. Then you won't care either?

Seriously, I can't understand people who want to stay in a relationship with someone who does drugs especially when they're a parent.

With him working nights then it’s normal he’s going to have that same routine on his days off.

But when he is awake he needs to be pulling his weight.

You should be the one to get up in the morning with them and as you don’t work you need to be the one to do the majority of the housework, cooking etc as that is your job now.

But he’s more than capable of dealing with the kids when they’re at home and spend time with them and put them to bed etc.

exactly……..

You'd probably be better off without him.

He'd have to pay support and you would get benefits.
Is the house you're in rented or owned by you?

Call women's aid and talk to them.

i don’t see him putting the kids to bed…

he sleeps all the time when they are up…
if I do cooking and school runs.etc.. and activity..he don’t spend no time with like that… but he can go and see his friends on weekends and expect me to pick up the hardest things a parent can do… is to raise kids..

i am renting and it is in my name..

womens aid..??

thanks for the advice.. I will never do that.. I have been trying to advice him to stop.. be clearly I am finding that he is a child to be honest