Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating.. am I overreacting

45 replies

Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 04:23

I've been dating a guy for almost 2 months. He spends alot of time at my place. Well tonight he was having a work party and invited me round figuring I shop at the place he works alot. This is the first time I've visited his house. So his freinds show up and are pretty cool, drinking and smoking ( both of which were fine). Then my guy starts drinking ( he says he dosent do it much). 14 beers and a jack and coke in under 3 hours. He's forgetting what he's saying mid sentence. I promptly left. I did send him a message about it, but I don't know how to feel on this. I was pretty put off by his behavior. What would you do? I really connect with this guy, spend lots of time with him and plan to meet his kids in 3 days.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 26/06/2022 04:37

I would never see him again. That behaviour is a deal breaker for me. So grossly unattractive and shows a massive lack of maturity.

wellhelloitsme · 26/06/2022 04:39

That's a ridiculous amount to drink especially in such a short time - red flag.

But why on earth are you planning to meet his kids when you've only known him 'almost' two months?

That means he either introduces them to all his girlfriends which is irresponsible and unhealthy and / or he is just a rubbish dad who doesn't put his kids first.

Because there is absolutely zero need for you to meet them this early.

Rtmhwales · 26/06/2022 04:39

You've been dating him for 2 months and were planning to meet his kids in a few days? That would be off putting enough for me, coupled with the excessive drinking I'd think not for me.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 26/06/2022 04:42

Rtmhwales · 26/06/2022 04:39

You've been dating him for 2 months and were planning to meet his kids in a few days? That would be off putting enough for me, coupled with the excessive drinking I'd think not for me.

This!
why were you going to meet his kids so soon?
I couldn't be with a man who drinks like that. Out of the question for me. It's vile.

Rainbowqueeen · 26/06/2022 04:49

Yeah not for me

Original poster
Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 05:39

He wants me to meet them cause up until tonight we were pretty sure this was a forever thing. I've known him for a long time before we dated. He's been single almost 6 years now ( mostly cause he has needy tendency and is a larger dude

OP posts:
MindYourHeadDoggy · 26/06/2022 05:46

Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 05:39

He wants me to meet them cause up until tonight we were pretty sure this was a forever thing. I've known him for a long time before we dated. He's been single almost 6 years now ( mostly cause he has needy tendency and is a larger dude

Do you have children of your own, OP?

Meeting kids after about 8 weeks is just wrong.

Ragwort · 26/06/2022 05:58

'A forever thing' after eight weeks Hmm .... are you a teenager? And you admit he's been single for 6 years as he has 'a needy tendency and is a larger dude' ... do you mean fat?

You clearly don't know him that well, perhaps he likes to get drunk with his mates as a way of socialising, it's easy to mask those habits in eight weeks of dating.

KangarooKenny · 26/06/2022 06:17

Move on.

Justcallmebebes · 26/06/2022 06:27

Raise your bar and don't confuse his poor kids

pilates · 26/06/2022 06:36

🚩

CousinKrispy · 26/06/2022 06:43

Yeah, move on. You will regret it massively if you don't.

MMmomDD · 26/06/2022 06:48

If you actually have known him for longer than 2 months - if he had a drinking problem - you would have known.
It is possible it was a one off - talk to him about it before making any decisions.

But, most importantly - slow down. It’s ridiculous to talk about ‘forever’ at just two months. And regardless of the drinking - don’t meet the kids - it is way way way early.

velvetvixen · 26/06/2022 06:49

Why was he mostly at your place? No dates out? Did you cook for him and generally run around after him? If so, I know where this was headed, and it's not Romance of the Year.

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 26/06/2022 06:49

This all sounds ridiculous.

How old are you both?

How can anyone think a relationship is a forever thing after 8 weeks?! And not realise that it's just the honeymoon phase. Let this situation be a reminder that you still have LOTS to learn about each other. Hold off meeting the kids until you're at least 6 months in. You should know then if you're compatible (although no one can say if it's a forever thing or not, especially that early in still)

BabyColinRobinson · 26/06/2022 06:54

Are you both very young because you sound like a teenager. A forever thing? You've only been dating two months. It's far too early to tell.

You shouldn't be meeting his kids until six months minimum. Also why are you mostly meeting at your place? He should be taking you on dates this early on, not just coming round your house.

The behaviour with his friends is just the cherry on top. You say he's needy? Is that just another word for controlling?

Ladybug14 · 26/06/2022 07:03

A forever thing after 2 months? You're joking, right?

You have no idea who he is and you've just discovered something you really don't like about him

Don't meet his kids

Take time to get to know him. Watch out for more red flags and lies.

BanjoVio · 26/06/2022 07:14

My ex husband used to drink like this when socialising. Turned out he was an alcoholic and had no “off” switch when he started drinking. We were married for a hellish two years and now I have a previous surname and a decree absolute following me around forever. Get rid.

clpsmum · 26/06/2022 07:22

Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 05:39

He wants me to meet them cause up until tonight we were pretty sure this was a forever thing. I've known him for a long time before we dated. He's been single almost 6 years now ( mostly cause he has needy tendency and is a larger dude

You've been with him two months so not meet his kids. You can't possibly think it's forever after two months! You don't know him that well if you didn't know he was a binge drinker. And he's needy to boot. Get rid!!! Those poor children.

Iamnotamermaid · 26/06/2022 07:27

Sounds insecure and trying to show off in front of his mates. But no, you are not overreacting-not attractive and big clue with what's to come.

Pinkbonbon · 26/06/2022 07:38

You say he is 'needy'. In what way?
Is he a bloody love bomber into the bargain?

Were all his pals drinking that much too?

Foxgluv · 26/06/2022 07:49

This would put me off.

2 months isn't a long time & it's too soon to meet his children imo. You need to experience someone in different scenarios (like this one) to really get to know them. It could be a one off, it could be standard. The fact that he's thrown the drinks back first time wouldn't fill me with much confidence that it isn't a regular thing for him. It also shows that the relationship is still quite new.

seaUrchinOne · 26/06/2022 08:18

Doesn't sound like the lifestyle you want, he does sound immature getting that drunk so quickly, it's really off putting being around a drunk man when you aren't the same. I would put off meeting his children, I think this is more a short lived relationship than a keeper.

Original poster
Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 08:46

Most if them had like one beer

OP posts:
gingersplodgecat · 26/06/2022 08:54

He was showing off in front of his mates.

Pratsville. You're right, you do need to dump him.