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Original poster

Dating.. am I overreacting

45 replies

Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 04:23

I've been dating a guy for almost 2 months. He spends alot of time at my place. Well tonight he was having a work party and invited me round figuring I shop at the place he works alot. This is the first time I've visited his house. So his freinds show up and are pretty cool, drinking and smoking ( both of which were fine). Then my guy starts drinking ( he says he dosent do it much). 14 beers and a jack and coke in under 3 hours. He's forgetting what he's saying mid sentence. I promptly left. I did send him a message about it, but I don't know how to feel on this. I was pretty put off by his behavior. What would you do? I really connect with this guy, spend lots of time with him and plan to meet his kids in 3 days.

OP posts:
WomanHere · 26/06/2022 09:01

This was the first time that you had visited his house yet he is going to introduce you to his children? You’ve been dating for less than 2 months? He drunk 14 pints in 3 hours? It all sounds off, at the very least halt the child introductions.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 26/06/2022 09:19

Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 05:39

He wants me to meet them cause up until tonight we were pretty sure this was a forever thing. I've known him for a long time before we dated. He's been single almost 6 years now ( mostly cause he has needy tendency and is a larger dude

Hopefully this has shown you that it's impossible to know someone is a forever thing after 2 months!

CandyLeBonBon · 26/06/2022 09:27

I'm amazed you were keeping count op!

FemmeNatal · 26/06/2022 09:29

If you know how many drinks he had that means that you were watching and counting from the start, which is very strange.

What’s the back story there?

wellhelloitsme · 26/06/2022 12:10

Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 05:39

He wants me to meet them cause up until tonight we were pretty sure this was a forever thing. I've known him for a long time before we dated. He's been single almost 6 years now ( mostly cause he has needy tendency and is a larger dude

I'm trying to find a better way to say this but can't, so... this is all fucking mental.

His poor kids.

Watchkeys · 26/06/2022 12:21

Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 05:39

He wants me to meet them cause up until tonight we were pretty sure this was a forever thing. I've known him for a long time before we dated. He's been single almost 6 years now ( mostly cause he has needy tendency and is a larger dude

It doesn't matter how long you've known him. To know that you want to be in a relationship with somebody long term, you have to be in a relationship with them for more than a couple of months.

Why do you want to get into something serious with someone you'd refer to as 'needy'?

You sound school-aged. How old are you? You need to recognise that healthy adult relationships are based on respect and compatibility.

Wellies54 · 26/06/2022 13:29

This is just a guess - are you a very caring and nurturing person? Sounds to me like he's playing the 'poor me' card. He's someone with a chip on his shoulder and poor impulse control. Do you see him as someone you can help? You're keen to meet his kids and be a wonderful step mum -He's very keen to have someone to share the responsibility! It will all be marvellous until a few months/years in when anything he does that's selfish or annoying is still down to his lack of self esteem despite you still giving him your support - and being the one putting most of the energy into looking after his kids at the weekends!

billy1966 · 26/06/2022 13:47

Stay away from him and his poor children.

He sounds like an alcoholic.

His behaviour should put you off if you have any self preservation going on.

This has disaster written all over it.

Run.

You deserve better.

DontBlameMe79 · 26/06/2022 14:09

Bale OP. Never undervalue yourself and remember you are the prize in any relationship.

Midlifemusings · 26/06/2022 14:13

The drinking was excessive - but if it only led to him being unable to finish his sentences, that is a pretty tame drunk. I am curious as to why you were counting his drinks from the start and kept such a close eye and close track on the number? Is it possible he didn't drink that many, brought them out for others etc?

If everyone dumped someone because they didn't finish their sentences after having drinks - there would be a lot more break ups.

The excessive drinking (if that is really what he had) would be a concern for me - but your counting and watching his every move would also be a concern for me.

Doesn't seem like this is meant to go anywhere.

WilsonMilson · 26/06/2022 14:54

He sounds like an absolute tool. Is he an 18 year old showing off to his friends? As for meeting his kids - it’s been 8 weeks, don’t be ridiculous.

As for ‘a forever thing’ - you’ve only just been round to his house. And you didn’t like what you saw. So how are you sure it’s a ‘forever thing’.

You both sound like a pair of dickish teenagers and I feel sorry for his kids.

Original poster
Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 18:23

I wasn't. I counted 8 bottles and then found the rest in the sink. And he's the only one who drinks that brand

OP posts:
wellhelloitsme · 26/06/2022 18:27

You're still going to meet his kids ridiculously and unnecessarily early then?

Goodo.

bloodyunicorns · 26/06/2022 18:33

Urgh. Binge drinking - red flag.
Meet his kids after 5 mins - just no

How much do you like this guy? I'm not sure he's worth all the aggro.

BornIn78 · 26/06/2022 18:36

If he really drank 14 beers and a JD and coke in under 3 hours, and he wasn’t passed out or vomiting, then that indicates that he’s used to drinking that amount of alcohol in such a short space of time, i.e. an alcoholic.

wellhelloitsme · 26/06/2022 18:50

BornIn78 · 26/06/2022 18:36

If he really drank 14 beers and a JD and coke in under 3 hours, and he wasn’t passed out or vomiting, then that indicates that he’s used to drinking that amount of alcohol in such a short space of time, i.e. an alcoholic.

This. Anyone who hadn't developed a huge tolerance over a significant amount of time would be absolutely slaughtered, not standing and chatting, after drinking that amount in a few hours.

SunnyShiner · 26/06/2022 18:52

8 weeks and it's a forever thing. Oh dear.

FemmeNatal · 26/06/2022 18:52

Kathy34 · 26/06/2022 18:23

I wasn't. I counted 8 bottles and then found the rest in the sink. And he's the only one who drinks that brand

Sounds like he’ll be better off without you. Eight bottles in three hours is reasonable, and at parties people tend to drink whatever’s available.

ifawftfte · 26/06/2022 19:15

I'd dump him. He's a problem drinker.
I was with a problem drinker for 5 years and it was absolute hell until I finally managed to extricate myself from the relationship.
It caused a lot of damage to my mental health and self-esteem.
Save yourself the bother and just get rid of him now.

leotardrock · 26/06/2022 23:33

Are you sure he drank all that? Because me & my friends can drink & I don't think I've ever seen anything like that!

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