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Original poster

Why does he get to be the happy one?

34 replies

princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 22:44

I got broken up with 2 days ago. Nothing awful, just communication issues and admittedly mental health issues from my side that may have driven him away. He ended things pretty suddenly and seemed pretty cold, as if he had checked out a while ago (and if so he’s a very good pretender!) but it was amicable.

I’ve been really struggling to process it all. I’ve taken time to really heal, let myself cry etc. I’ve deleted all social media as I can’t face it right now.
My friend tells me that he’s changed his profile pic already, after ONE day, of him having loads of fun.
He’s also just followed a girl that I know he used to speak to, which honestly made me feel like I’d been hit by a bus.

How is he moving on with his life so quick when I can barely face anything or even think about other guys without feeling ill??

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 25/06/2022 22:48

Think you have answered your own question, it felt like he checked out a while ago.

Whereas it's been 2 days for you.

Honestly us females should really stop thinking men are fucking prizes. They are lucky to find a loving partnership and that is how we all need to think. Not that you are not good enough for one particular penis.

slowcookerforone · 25/06/2022 22:48

Your friend shouldn't be looking at his social media, nor should you.
It's the worst thing to do for your state of mind and it's also bullshit, you don't know how he's actually feeling, just what he's choosing to present to the world.

Original poster
princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 22:49

I guess it stings because as far as I knew, he was acting completely normally up until we split. So to think now he’s out there living his best life while I’m in here upset…

OP posts:
Original poster
princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 23:09

Feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach

OP posts:
Mariposista · 25/06/2022 23:19

So sorry OP. It's only been two days. You are going to need way more time to get over this knob. Believe me, he might be strutting about like a peacock with two dicks, but in reality he is plugging a gap - he will do the same to the next poor girl, and the next. That's what insecure people do 'look at meeeee, I'm fine"' a decent person (like you), wouldn't be fine after a break up, no matter how amicable. Most of this 'happiness' is fake showing off.
Take the for yourself, surround yourself with friends and family, and take your time.You've got this.

GrazingSheep · 25/06/2022 23:21

I’ve taken time to really heal
You broke up 48 hours ago !!

Mumoftwoinprimary · 25/06/2022 23:21

If he is having that much fun then I wonder how he had time to faff about on social media?

Original poster
princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 23:22

@GrazingSheep probably should’ve worded it better, I’m nowhere near healed 😂 I just mean I’ve taken a few days to do nothing and let myself cry / be in my emotions

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 25/06/2022 23:22

It must feel shit, but what did this entail?
Nothing awful, just communication issues and admittedly mental health issues from my side that may have driven him away. He ended things pretty suddenly? Were you aggressive/abusive/controlling?

Original poster
princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 23:23

@MichelleScarn I could be anxious sometimes and sometimes seek reassurance but I wasn’t controlling or abusive at all. He was also not the best communicator so caused some misunderstandings x

OP posts:
BiscoffSundae · 25/06/2022 23:24

He broke up with you as he wasn’t happy so now he is, if you broke up with him you would probably be the happy one

BiscoffSundae · 25/06/2022 23:25

Why would he be sad if he’s the one that’s broken up with you?

Original poster
princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 23:27

Well it’s more the fact it’s been 48 hours and he’s already making a point that he’s happier without me/living his best life. He split up with me yes but we were together for 3 years and thought he’d be a bit more upset or at least empathetic at the situation

OP posts:
Nightynightnight · 25/06/2022 23:28

He is not responsible for your happiness. You are. Make it happen.

MiniPiccolo · 25/06/2022 23:33

"I’ve taken time to really heal"

🙄 it's been 48hrs OP.

MiniPiccolo · 25/06/2022 23:35

princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 23:27

Well it’s more the fact it’s been 48 hours and he’s already making a point that he’s happier without me/living his best life. He split up with me yes but we were together for 3 years and thought he’d be a bit more upset or at least empathetic at the situation

Have you considered, just to be brutal here op, that maybe he is?

Being in a relationship with someone with mental health issues is incredibly hard on the partner without them.

Original poster
princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 23:35

Mini, I just explained that line above

OP posts:
BiscoffSundae · 25/06/2022 23:36

Sounds like he checked out ages ago! So why would he be moping around crying obviously he was unhappy in the relationship

MiniPiccolo · 25/06/2022 23:38

He made a choice he wanted, OP - so he will be happy. If it was that abrupt then he's probably relieved he's finally done it. So yes. He is allowed to be happy.

You're responsible for your own happiness. Crack on with healing and then find yours. You wont find it being bitter about him being relieved he's left a relationship he didn't want to be in any longer.

Isaidnoalready · 25/06/2022 23:40

Your acting more emotionally mature right now your processing your feelings getting yourself together he is more concerned with the next girl sounds like he checked out awhile ago and in his head has already moved on in reality most people will be thinking what a pratt he is personally I would sort myself out pull myself together and move on work harder on yourself so you don't make the same mistakes next time tell your friends you don't want to hear about what he is doing he is yesterdays news

Bunty55 · 25/06/2022 23:43

OP How do you know he is happy? Truth is you do not, and after three years of being with someone and ending things, he must have been thinking about this for a while.
He's getting on with his life and you should do the same. There are no winners when relationships break down.

FlissyPaps · 25/06/2022 23:44

Just because he looks like he’s having fun on social media … doesn’t mean he is in real life.

We only show what we want others to see. We only show how we wish to be portrayed by others.

You’ve done the right thing by removing social media for now. If your friend tries to bring up what he’s doing or who he’s following - shut the conversation down. His life is now none of your business.

It will take time OP. Give yourself time. You will be grieving, and it’s an awful process. Look after yourself, do things for you! Spend your time with people who make you feel good.

You will feel loads better in time, I promise. You just need to ride the waves for now.

Runnerduck34 · 25/06/2022 23:45

I'm so sorry you are hurting so much OP, it will get better but will take time.
This isn't your fault and I couldn't see where or why other posters thought you have MH issues?
This is about him.
Social media isn't RL ,people can look happy in photos whilst feeling pretty miserable inside.
I would actually expect anyone coming out of a long term relationship to feel sad and upset ,even if they were the ones that ended it.
It's been a big shock for you,blocking his SM is the right thing to do, be kind to yourself and spend time with friends and family, if your friends start to tell you about him say you dont want to know.
It's horrible right now and you must feeling the rugs been pulled from underneath especially as it was so unexpected but you will get through this and find love again.

FemmeNatal · 25/06/2022 23:46

princesspea111 · 25/06/2022 23:27

Well it’s more the fact it’s been 48 hours and he’s already making a point that he’s happier without me/living his best life. He split up with me yes but we were together for 3 years and thought he’d be a bit more upset or at least empathetic at the situation

If he was miserable he may be feeling a real sense of relief.

On the other hand, he may be feeling terrible too, and this could be his way of trying to take his mind off it.

BiscoffSundae · 25/06/2022 23:49

Runnerduck34 · 25/06/2022 23:45

I'm so sorry you are hurting so much OP, it will get better but will take time.
This isn't your fault and I couldn't see where or why other posters thought you have MH issues?
This is about him.
Social media isn't RL ,people can look happy in photos whilst feeling pretty miserable inside.
I would actually expect anyone coming out of a long term relationship to feel sad and upset ,even if they were the ones that ended it.
It's been a big shock for you,blocking his SM is the right thing to do, be kind to yourself and spend time with friends and family, if your friends start to tell you about him say you dont want to know.
It's horrible right now and you must feeling the rugs been pulled from underneath especially as it was so unexpected but you will get through this and find love again.

It literally says it in the op 🤦🏻