Biggest heartbreak of my life reached out to me

[LostInDating]

The biggest heartbreak of my life reached out to me last night and I went numb. I accepted his friends request and responded to his messages 🤡 but felt like I am gonna throw up and my hands were shaking 🤧

Maybe I shouldn’t respond but I want him to see how well I am doing without him - is that wrong 😑

He's after an ego boost and a shag. My 'heartbreak' only reaches out to me when his increasingly younger girlfriends dump him.

Thank you everyone- I appreciate every message 🫶🏻

Just no @LostInDating he's shat on you. Block him FOREVER! Move on & enjoy your life. The end.

Dua Lipa summed it up.

One: Don't pick up the phone
You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone
Two: Don't let him in
You have to kick him out again
Three: Don't be his friend
You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the mornin'
And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him

He's after a shag. You dated him for a few months. Get a grip.

He’s rotten. Bin him.

Urgh no, this is a fuck boy not the love of your life.

Block him!

Id ask him "what's changed?"

Can he articulate some change in his thinking???? If not, let him know this "look, mixed messages just don't work for me. Take care, good luck".

You may feel he's the biggest heartbreak but you're romanticising someone who is a player. You weren't in love with the real him. Get angry that he's showing such lack of respect that he thinks he can throw you the offer of a meal whenever he feels like it and you'll jump. He's looking for sex. You're caught in emotions. Block him.

I have to disagree with everyone else. When you saw him last you made it clear that you did not want to sleep with him and he then felt you weren't interested. To me the fact that he is contacted you again indicates that he might genuinely still care and wants to try again. If you're not bothered then fine, block him and forget it, but, if you think there might still be something there, what's the harm in speaking to him or going for a coffee?

Right, and ghosting someone twice is exactly what loved up men do isn’t it?
Your user name says it all.

Reached out? Contacted, FFS!

OP you didn't say what reason he gave for ghosting you the first time. What was his reason? Lost a limb? Fell into a ditch?

So basically he said he was going through some tests and diagnosis for a cancer - which made him go into reserved mode, depression, he refused to socialise etc. decided to spend time with his kids in case that would be his “last days”…

Time wasters!

I knew a guy like this. You take control back OP you've moved on fully once you don't give him access.

Block block block!

Thanks for sharing that, OP 🙏🏼

In that case, maybe it's worth having another chat with him to see if you can work this out? I hate to think anyone would lie about that - I lost my dad to cancer when I was a teenager - but if there's any way you can establish that's all true, then I'd try to do that before making any decisions.

If you do try again, it's probably worth you both being upfront about what you both want at the outset and not sleeping with him until you trust him not to ghost you again. Maybe make counselling a condition on getting back together as it's abusive and cruel to ghost someone you allegedly care about and he absolutely can't do that to you again no matter what crops up.

See it’s hard to decide what to do…
I will keep him hanging for a while and refuse the coffee and dinner invites and see how long he can wait. If he gets frustrated easily then obviously he was after sex if he is willing to wait then will see how can we see the future and how I expect him to behave this time round.

With the cancer thing, I work in a healthcare and I come across many people who are awaiting diagnosis and go in withdrawn phase where they shut themselves from others so it does make sense…but again need to be cautious

Of course he’ll wait- he’s a game player. He’s beaten you at this game twice already, yet here you are still calling him the love of your life and giving him the benefit of the doubt! He must be laughing his socks off! This guy is not the love of your life, this guy is a sleazeball. There is much better than him in your future, but you have to know when to close a door.

What interest has this prince of men shown in your actual life? In how your career is going, your hobbies and goals etc? If he's only burbling on about meeting up, then he wants a girl on a string to be kept at a distance and tugged close when he's bored.

Very dull. Ignore him.

Honestly, don't waste your energy playing games. The only person who will get hurt, is you.

Do yourself a favour and just say no thank you, I won't engage further or change my mind and then block before he can respond.

@LostInDating you don't want someone with the capacity to just bugger off without a word. Honesty and the ability to communicate are fundamental. I think you know deep down he's playing you but there's a bit of you still wanting to prove he's a disney prince. He's not. Honestly look elsewhere!

Oh I thought you meant a long ago first love type situation, not this. Block this, it will not do you any good whatsoever. Walk away now

This.

Block him unless you want your heart broken again.

Don’t be a mug. He wants to dip his wick, that’s all.

Is the cancer thing even true?

But this is a guy that you said you don't trust?