Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mid 40s - same sex attraction for the first time

53 replies

ifawftfte · 20/06/2022 12:52

Name changed - the circumstances could be identifying.
I'm mid 40s. Never experienced any sexual attraction to a woman. I've been with men, had two long term relationships, but nothing ever felt quite right.
And since I split with the ex 3 years ago I've gone off men completely. Feel queasy just thinking about doing anything with them and certainly don't want a relationship with a man ever again. I presumed that I'd then spend my life single etc. Never considered being with a woman as I've never been sexually attracted to another woman. I thought I was "100% heterosexual".... how wrong can you be.

I have been away for a week with a group of people to "do a hobby"!! I met a woman there, we clicked immediately. She is a lesbian. At first I thought it was just a friendship thing but it developed into some arm touching, walking arm in arm, and to my surprise sexual attraction from my side. Last night when everyone was leaving I hoped to get a chance to say goodbye to her alone as we'd been flirting earlier, eye contact etc. Unfortunately we couldn't manage to shake off a "hanger on" who wouldn't leave. So I hugged her, she stroked my arm and said she'd text. I can still feel her touch....

I suppose I'm asking if others have experienced similar- no attraction to another woman at all and then all of a sudden it's there with someone, completely unexpectedly and very powerful.
I don't feel odd about it in any way - it's quite exciting actually. It happened very naturally - like when I've met men before I've been attracted to. I'm surprised - that's all! And I'm ready to see where this goes with her. (If anywhere)

Is sexuality so fluid like this? Not sure if I'm bi. I was convinced over the last 3 years that I might be asexual - no attraction to anyone. Before that I thought exclusively straight. Any advice/insights welcome!

OP posts:
Siameasy · 10/02/2023 10:27

I’ve been curious too. Mid 40s. Still into men at the same time. Maybe something will happen one day

JaneyClicks · 25/09/2023 15:41

Hi I know this is an oldish thread but it kind of covers the way I have been feeling since divorce. Anybody there?

LadyJones99 · 21/07/2025 22:55

ifawftfte · 20/06/2022 12:52

Name changed - the circumstances could be identifying.
I'm mid 40s. Never experienced any sexual attraction to a woman. I've been with men, had two long term relationships, but nothing ever felt quite right.
And since I split with the ex 3 years ago I've gone off men completely. Feel queasy just thinking about doing anything with them and certainly don't want a relationship with a man ever again. I presumed that I'd then spend my life single etc. Never considered being with a woman as I've never been sexually attracted to another woman. I thought I was "100% heterosexual".... how wrong can you be.

I have been away for a week with a group of people to "do a hobby"!! I met a woman there, we clicked immediately. She is a lesbian. At first I thought it was just a friendship thing but it developed into some arm touching, walking arm in arm, and to my surprise sexual attraction from my side. Last night when everyone was leaving I hoped to get a chance to say goodbye to her alone as we'd been flirting earlier, eye contact etc. Unfortunately we couldn't manage to shake off a "hanger on" who wouldn't leave. So I hugged her, she stroked my arm and said she'd text. I can still feel her touch....

I suppose I'm asking if others have experienced similar- no attraction to another woman at all and then all of a sudden it's there with someone, completely unexpectedly and very powerful.
I don't feel odd about it in any way - it's quite exciting actually. It happened very naturally - like when I've met men before I've been attracted to. I'm surprised - that's all! And I'm ready to see where this goes with her. (If anywhere)

Is sexuality so fluid like this? Not sure if I'm bi. I was convinced over the last 3 years that I might be asexual - no attraction to anyone. Before that I thought exclusively straight. Any advice/insights welcome!

How did this story go in the end? Did it end up my sexual or not?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page