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Original poster

Football widow

32 replies

Justme49 · 20/06/2022 09:46

HI all

Looking for some advice please. My other half has told me at the weekend he will be going to every home and away match to support his team every Saturday. We have been together 5 years and he has sprung this on me.
We work Monday to Friday and have no kids between us.

He gave up his season ticket many years ago before we met and now has recently got it back. I have never stopped him going to footy matches and never will.

I feel sad as it won't just be the football but it will be off the bus and straight to the boozer. I am not included. He said it will be HIS day out.
I know some of you will say well what about spending a Sunday together. That would be good but he likes to do his pub rounds in town and I can't keep up with him in bars all day. So I tend not to be with him on a Sunday. Yesterday he went out at 2pm, I picked him up at 8pm and we went for a burger and I thought he would want to go home but he wanted dropped at pub again.
Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest as I am feeling low. Thanks for reading......

OP posts:
MermaidEyes · 20/06/2022 09:48

That's a bit shit. After having several boyfriends who were huge football supporters, that's one reason I married a man who hates the game.

KangarooKenny · 20/06/2022 09:49

Time to end it, he prefers to send time with football/mates and not you.

heavyistheheed · 20/06/2022 09:50

Hmm yes the Sunday shenanigans sound even worse than the football.
Time to reevaluate your relationship imo. Luckily, no children involved.

Pennyhill22 · 20/06/2022 10:23

I'd leave,he won't change and he has basically told you that. You either accept it or split up. I know many women whose partners spend their whole weekend in the pub,it wouldn't work for me.

Chocolatefreak · 20/06/2022 10:24

He seems to be organising his life to be excluding you. I agree with above posters, either you develop an obsession with football yourself in order to join him, or you just accept that the big love of his life isn't you, it's football. I know other women who are football widows on Saturdays but Sundays too? I would start reconsidering my options. It will make you resent him.

Shoxfordian · 20/06/2022 10:31

He’s not much of a partner then
Why are you wasting your time?

Fairislefandango · 20/06/2022 10:31

Wow, I couldn't be with such a selfish arse. My dh likes various sports, in a fairly low-key way (watches occasionally on tv), but would never let that interfere with family life. I would never have got involved with a die-hard football fan.

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/06/2022 10:32

It’s not really a relationship, is it?
time to consider what you want your future to look like.

Cuwins · 20/06/2022 10:40

From a women football fan: I have a season ticket and getting to home games is really important to me, I go with my sister and it's our thing together. My partner has no interest at all and I would be very upset if he tried to stop me going. However I only go to home games, previous to our baby being born in feb I would have gone to some reasonable distance away games if I could afford it but not every weekend and with a baby I wouldn't do that however as still hoping to make home games from august (missed last half of the season just finished). However I rarely have any other plans at the weekend and if he wanted to do something on a Sunday and I was at football on the sat (or the other way round) I would prioritise what he wants to do.
I feel it's not the football that's the problem even with away games included but the fact he then is busy all day the other day too- and presumably he would go out with friends both days if it was a non-football weekend?
I'm assuming you have no interest in football and it couldn't be something you do together?

RandomMess · 20/06/2022 10:41

End it. Definitely do not have children.

He wants to spend all weekend half pissed doesn't he?

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/06/2022 10:43

Think you need to show him the red card Smile

Cuwins · 20/06/2022 10:44

Also for me the alcohol would be a big issue- if he is drinking that much I couldn't stay with him. Contrary to what a lot of people think football does not have to equal drinking! I know plenty of people who don't drink at or around football at all (drive to get there for a start!) or if they do they just have 1 or 2.

Wnikat · 20/06/2022 10:46

No kids, run for the hills.

balalake · 20/06/2022 10:48

I think for me it would depend on the football team. If he is a glory seeking Manchester United supporter then you've got many years of sulking and disappointment to cope with (hoping at least another 20!!).

There will be a break in December this year though.

Cherrysoup · 20/06/2022 10:49

Run. He doesn't want to spend time with you at the weekend, therefore? What is the point of the relationship?

Ragwort · 20/06/2022 10:55

You are not compatible - don't try and change him, either accept it and do your own thing (but DO NOT have children with him) or end it. My DH have completely separate social lives, hobbies and interests ... but we have been married over 35 years and respect each other's individual needs ... it would not have worked when we first got together or were bringing up our DC.

Bookworm20 · 20/06/2022 10:59

So it sounds like he is excluding you from the entire weekend. Except when you are taxi-ing him from the pub?

Honestly, I'd be seriously rethinking this one. Its one thing him going to the football games, but completely different when he is prioitising them all over you and its every single saturday! And then every sunday hes out on the piss all afternoon and evening. He sounds incredibly selfish.

I couldn't be with someone who thought so little of me TBH that they'd spend all their spare time doing things which excluded me.

ExtraOnion · 20/06/2022 11:02

I go to every home match, and have done since DD was born (she’s 16 now). My husband doesn’t come, I go with my siblings.
my husband used to play cricket all day on a Sunday, and now has a hobby that takes him out all day - and sometimes off on holiday without me.
I also do plenty without him ..

we have been together for 20 years .. it’s healthy to have hobbies away from the other partner. Plus, make the most of being child free !

HazelBite · 20/06/2022 11:40

Its not about the football is it?
Its about the time he spends on the piss, that alone would have me querying my relationship.
Dh has had a season ticket in the past, it only had an impact on us on matchdays and if we had an evening arrangement for a matchday he would make sure he was home in time.
In all seriousness if he prefers to spend all of the weekend away from you there are serious questions here.
It really is not about about football at all.

User1406 · 20/06/2022 16:42

I'd leave and find someone else. There are a lot of men (and also women) who make football their entire life. And whilst that's fine, I wouldn't want to be with someone like that.

When you met him, he wasn't like that. Now he is so you have every right to be upset about it.

For me, I'd be more upset about the constant boozing. I know guys with season tickets who try to go to all home matches (this is usually every other week), and the odd away match, but they don't get blind drunk. I could cope with that. If I was with a guy who wanted to go to literally every single match and also spent the entire of the next day hungover, I don't think so.

Sounds like you are incompatible now and I'd leave before the situation gets worse, which it will.

layladomino · 20/06/2022 17:49

I don't think this is about the football. It's good to have a hobby. If he was out for 3 hours every other Saturday at a home match, and out for the day at an away match it might not seem so bad (especially as there are no children to be running around and looking after). However, the drinking before / after, and drinking all day on Sunday I just couldn't live with. He is prioritising drink over you every week end.

Catlover1970 · 20/06/2022 23:03

Wait till you are left alone with kids….. end it. He’s selfish

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 20/06/2022 23:08

You need to get rid of this drunken loser. Find yourself a decent caring man who wants to spend time with you.

decayingmatter · 20/06/2022 23:10

It's not a hobby is it, he's just a boring fucker out on the lash all weekend every weekend. So unattractive.

Original poster
Justme49 · 21/06/2022 08:42

Thanks for all your messages everyone. Lots of decisions to make........

OP posts:
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