Am I right to feel annoyed with DH

[Butterfly44]

It's been a hot day and we're in for a humid night. I asked DH to get the fan down from the loft to put in DD's room for the night. His response was - it's only one night there's no point.
This is typical of DH. His laziness presides. I'll do it myself but things like this just breeds resentment.

How old is dd? I wouldn't leave a fan on overnight unsupervised anyway. Appropriate bed clothes far better .

Why is it his job to get the fan down? I guess he might say you were being lazy for not getting it yourself.

I’m guessing there’s not a very equal spilt in general?

I think from your post this is relatively minor, but resentment has built up and this is the cherry on the cake.

I think that is a lame excuse, so I would be annoyed too.

When I am busy doing things already, I ask DH. When DH is busy doing things already (e.g. he does most of the cooking), he asks me. This is normal IMO, it is called sharing the burden.

Unequal split of work = resentment.

She's 16. She had it in her room last summer now it's in the loft.
DH is inherently selfish/lazy whereas I do all I can for everyone. Yes it's the cherry on the cake. It's very unequal with 90% falling to me and resentment has built up over time. Our empathies are on completely different horizons.

DH is inherently selfish/lazy

Why did you marry him?

Prepare to be told it's all your fault OP. Oh wait... it's already started.

I’d be annoyed by his attitude but I’d have also just got it myself without asking DH in the first place.

16?
Is there a reason she cant get it herself? Or open a window?

If she's 16 then why does she need somebody to do this for her?

I think the context of feeling the mental burden of running everything is important here, and I see why you’re annoyed.

That said, your daughter is 16. Step back and let them work it out between themselves. If she’s uncomfortable, she can nag him to get the fan down, or get it down herself.

You can choose to also not be the organised one.

No. Your feelings are your feelings. They can’t be wrong.

Also leave him. You’re not a servant.

I Understand your perspectives op, but also as your dd is 16 id also ask if she could be able to retrieve the item ?

I could have written your post OP😞

The lack of willingness, the lack of thought, the lack of effort he makes to listen or converse . The lack of attention and knowledge as to what is happening with our DC ... its really getting to me .

What's stopping her from getting it down ?.

She's 16. Surely if she wants it she can get it herself, or ask him herself?

I knew the DD would be in the wrong after you said how old OP.
Without knowing anything posters blame DD and you.
Jeez so much judging.
You need to work that bit out for yourself OP.

This is peak MN

Can your daughter not of got it or yourself?

She was asked a question why her daughter could not go get it? Why ask someone else to do a job she quite clearly capable of doing herself.

I'd expect a 16 yr old to take responsibility for her own comfort and fetch the fan herself. If you pander to her like this regularly I can understand your partner's response.

Judging the daughter is not the point of the post.

I'm just wondering why you think your husband is being lazy for not getting the fan, but you're not lazy for not getting it?

To everyone saying “why doesn’t op/dd go get it herself” …

In our old house we did not have a loft ladder so OH was the only one who was tall enough to get in using a step ladder. Add to that the loft wasn’t boarded out and one wrong step could have brought down a ceiling.

@Butterfly44 this would really annoy me too.

Why didn't you get it? Why didn't your daughter?
Why aren't you both lazy for not getting it?

She's 16... she's perfectly capable. Unless there's a huge drip feed here like she has no legs?