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Original poster

Am I right to feel annoyed with DH

53 replies

Butterfly44 · 17/06/2022 22:18

It's been a hot day and we're in for a humid night. I asked DH to get the fan down from the loft to put in DD's room for the night. His response was - it's only one night there's no point.
This is typical of DH. His laziness presides. I'll do it myself but things like this just breeds resentment.

OP posts:
Original poster
Butterfly44 · 18/06/2022 13:13

Yes we could both get it and that's not the issue here. It's the response that annoyed me....the 'she doesn't need it and can cope without it' response. Hmm Deciding his own reasoning which is quite different from say 'would you/her mind getting it' or 'can it be done later' And that's the point of this post.

There's a lot of that all the time. Anyway.

@IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls I hear you Flowers

OP posts:
IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 18/06/2022 14:37

@Butterfly44 i knew exactly where you were coming from. Ignore the judging comments. Flowers

Mothership4two · 18/06/2022 14:45

Me too @IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls

The loft is DH's domain. It's not completely boarded and he knows where everything is. He'd think it perfectly reasonable of me to ask him to bring the fan down for DS. I'd think it would be reasonable to ask me to do something in my 'domain'

Mumnetter111 · 18/06/2022 15:42

gingersplodgecat · 17/06/2022 23:48

Prepare to be told it's all your fault OP. Oh wait... it's already started.

@gingersplodgecat well why can’t OP or DD16 get it if they’re the ones that want it?

Mumnetter111 · 18/06/2022 15:45

Butterfly44 · 18/06/2022 13:13

Yes we could both get it and that's not the issue here. It's the response that annoyed me....the 'she doesn't need it and can cope without it' response. Hmm Deciding his own reasoning which is quite different from say 'would you/her mind getting it' or 'can it be done later' And that's the point of this post.

There's a lot of that all the time. Anyway.

@IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls I hear you Flowers

@Butterfly44 Tbf it was like 32 degrees yesterday and the forecast for the rest of the week is cold and if she really needed it she could go get it herself. There’s clearly more issues than just this. In this situation UABU but we don’t know anymore of the story so hard to say if this is a pattern or not.

SlatsandFlaps · 18/06/2022 15:52

@Mumnetter111 Getting the fan isn't the bloody issue! It's the DH's response! It's just one example of continuous behaviour. Stop being so literal

LampLighter414 · 18/06/2022 15:58

Out of interest do you and DH have a fan in your room already? Do you have any other children, do they have fans?

Original poster
Butterfly44 · 18/06/2022 18:19

LampLighter414 · 18/06/2022 15:58

Out of interest do you and DH have a fan in your room already? Do you have any other children, do they have fans?

Yes, the other rooms have ceiling fans. But like I said not the actual issue.

OP posts:
Summersolargirl · 18/06/2022 18:25

i really don’t get why you’re pissed he wouldn’t get it when you wouldn’t either? And she’s 16 if she wanted it she could get it herself?

you don’t need a cock to go in the loft.

movingon2022 · 18/06/2022 19:40

Dear OP, I completely understand you. This is how my ex was and it drove me absolutely nuts. Well, it drove me away, quite literally. I am a very hands on person, have been my whole life and I do not mind doing everything myself, but what is the point of having a partner if you have to do everything. My ex was the same, if I asked him to do something he would either make up an excuse why it does not have to be done, or ask me why I do not ask kids to do it, or why I do not do it myself.

Could not take his bs any longer.

Popsicle33 · 18/06/2022 19:42

She's 16. If she thinks she might need it she can get it herself. Unless you have a horror film loft that only men can enter...

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/06/2022 19:47

Summersolargirl · 18/06/2022 18:25

i really don’t get why you’re pissed he wouldn’t get it when you wouldn’t either? And she’s 16 if she wanted it she could get it herself?

you don’t need a cock to go in the loft.

Because the DH does fuck all. Women are always told in that case, "well just ask". She did 'just ask' and he wants to use his bollocks logic to justify not doing it.

We don't know what the DD does. My DD does loads so I wouldn't add something to her plate to not 'just ask' DH. Fortunately my DH isn't a twat.

Nanny0gg · 18/06/2022 19:55

Summersolargirl · 18/06/2022 18:25

i really don’t get why you’re pissed he wouldn’t get it when you wouldn’t either? And she’s 16 if she wanted it she could get it herself?

you don’t need a cock to go in the loft.

Did the OP say that she was sat on her arse when she asked him?

Do we know the exact division of labour during the day?

Why assume that the OP is in the wrong?

(And no-one but my DH can find anything in our loft - another story!)

YRGAM · 18/06/2022 20:51

Why does he have to get it because he's a man? I presume you have to cook and clean because you're a woman?

oviraptor21 · 18/06/2022 20:56

If DD wants it she can get it.
Sounds like DH doesn't want her to have it - perhaps for reasons of money saving or safety or because he doesn't see the need- so he's not inclined to get it but there's nothing to stop DD learning about the loft.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/06/2022 21:39

YRGAM · 18/06/2022 20:51

Why does he have to get it because he's a man? I presume you have to cook and clean because you're a woman?

He needs to do something. He does fuck all. I assume he's been asked to cook and clean and doesn't do those either.

CodeNamechange · 18/06/2022 21:43

Dementedswan · 17/06/2022 22:23

How old is dd? I wouldn't leave a fan on overnight unsupervised anyway. Appropriate bed clothes far better .

🤣

Monty27 · 19/06/2022 02:21

Why is it not ok for a father to be asked to get a fan from the loft??
Especially for his own DD. Age immaterial.
Just be nice to your own DD isn't a huge ask is it?
OP you're not in the wrong here. This place is heaving in trolls.
Ignore them. 🥱

mackthepony · 19/06/2022 02:26

Probably because she's sick of doing everything?

Like I asked DH to paint the outside panels on the house - I'm not doing it because I do everything else!

KangarooKenny · 19/06/2022 07:29

If you want a job doing ask a woman.
I have a lazy DH too.

Valeriekat · 19/06/2022 13:54

Dementedswan · 17/06/2022 22:23

How old is dd? I wouldn't leave a fan on overnight unsupervised anyway. Appropriate bed clothes far better .

What do you think the fan will do to DD?

WhatInFreshHell · 19/06/2022 13:59

@Dementedswan What exactly is going to happen?! I've never heard anything so batshit in all my life. It's a bloody fan? Honestly, MN at its finest.

Didsomeonesaydogs · 21/06/2022 14:22

WhatInFreshHell · 19/06/2022 13:59

@Dementedswan What exactly is going to happen?! I've never heard anything so batshit in all my life. It's a bloody fan? Honestly, MN at its finest.

That scene in Indiana Jones…

GreyCarpet · 21/06/2022 14:26

I wouldn't send my 16 year old daughter up into the loft 🤷🏻‍♀️

FemmeNatal · 21/06/2022 14:28

Butterfly44 · 17/06/2022 22:18

It's been a hot day and we're in for a humid night. I asked DH to get the fan down from the loft to put in DD's room for the night. His response was - it's only one night there's no point.
This is typical of DH. His laziness presides. I'll do it myself but things like this just breeds resentment.

Why did you ask him rather than just getting it down yourself?