Is this a really dickish thing to say or am I massively over-reacting?

[summerinthecity71]

I called my boyfriend at work today (on his mobile) to discuss our upcoming weekend away (we're flying somewhere in the UK for the weekend and I wanted to chat to him urgently about something).

He picked up and his response was: "Did you mean to call me?"

This has made me fucking rage and I told him. I find it breathtakingly rude: to me it sounds like the sort of thing you would say to someone you were having an affair with if you didn't want colleagues catching on. He apologised and said it wasn't intended like that and I said I never want to be spoken to like that and I find it bizarre that someone who speaks on the phone all the time for work should find it so difficult to speak to someone they are supposed to love. I realise I probably over-reacted but this has really upset me.

For context and not to drip feed: relationship is generally very good. We've been together four years, he's generally very respectful and considerate but can sometimes lack emotional intelligence.

We communicate almost exclusively via WhatsApp when we're not together. I know he's not good with personal phonecalls etc. To my knowledge there's no bar against making personal phonecalls at work.

Do I need to take a chill pill or would anyone else be irrationally pissed off at this?

Glad you apologised

Have a lovely weekend

I bet he's massively looking forward to the weekend now.

Now I think about it, I've occasionally not picked up an unexpected WhatsApp call, and then texted "did you mean to call?"

It's so easy to accidentally call instead of text on WhatsApp

Wow. You need. To. Chill.

Enjoy the weekend.

Do you normally go from zero to utter fury so quickly? You might need to consider some anger management help.

This is the most extreme reaction to a non-incident I could imagine. Your poor DP. I hope he gets an apology from you for being spoken to in such a foul manner, particularly whilst he is working.

Extreme reaction plus when you write constant what’s app, just why ? He is supposed to be working.

Is the OP going to get an apology from you for choosing to respond before actually reading all her posts?

Good for you saying sorry 😁, never easy really.

sometimes we all go a little batshit crazy @summerinthecity71 , just forget about it x

This is the type of overreaction I do when I'm stressy and then immediately regret my behaviour, realise I was the dick and apologise. Quite worrying if you can't recognise it yourself.

I think you've overreacted a little here. I say it to DH all the time if he calls at work. Wouldn't read into it at all.

Op you have massively overreacted.

I literally ask that exact same question to people sometimes especially if the call is unexpected.

How you jumped to it being like you were his affair partner I have no idea…

I really can't understand this obsession with 'WhatsApping constantly' throughout the day...do you not work? I would find it so irritating and unnecessary.

Mahoosive overreaction.

There’s only one breathtakingly rude person in this scenario and it ain’t your boyfriend.

if this is reflective of how you are in general then I feel very sorry for him.

Did the heat just get to you a bit? Irritability can be a sign of heat exhaustion and I've heard it's roasting in some parts of the UK today.

My DH has probably called me once or twice in our marriage. I'd answer the same way.

Sorry OP, but this. Definitely some apologising

It does seem like you're stressed OP. Is it about the weekend away/flight? Then I can understand your response a little, if he knew you were stressing about it.

Glad you’re going to dial it back a bit a lot.

Yup massive over reaction but I think you get that now. I feel sorry for the poor chap!

Bloody hell OP 😳

Havent' read the full thread but I don't understand why you are fucking raging over this. And thinking it was breathtakingly rude. Its so over the top to get that angry. Maybe cause I've asked that before when someone calls me and I've had BFs that have asked the same and I've never felt rage.

Also how does asking if you mean to call him means something you would say if you were having an affair??? I don't understand the correlation. You really sound unhinged and i think you should apologize.

he's generally very respectful and considerate but can sometimes lack emotional intelligence

You have the fucking rage over nothing. That isn't very emotionally intelligent.

Glad it's all smoothed over now @summerinthecity71. But I'm intrigued, what work do you both do that allows you to "constantly WhatsApp"? Unless you're both self employed, or have managers that have said it's OK to be constantly on your phones at work (as if!), then you shouldn't be WhatsApping at work