he called his ex affair partner

[throwaway7638]

just found out my husband called his ex affair partner last week. judging by length of call ti was a matter of seconds.

1. why has he got her number!!
2. if it was over why is he calling her!!!!!!

I am going to speak to him tonight about this I just need to vent here

Just call a solicitor and start a divorce. Or order all the papers and leave them lying around for him to catch a glimpse of

I thought this was over. I don't know what to do. Am I wrong in thinking these things? I txt my sister this morning and she said he could have been drunk but I always believe in a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts and if it had been a mistake wouldnt you get rid of any evidence!

Seriously OP give your head a wobble, he is disrespecting your relationship and holds no value over your feelings. Fuck that. Just leave.

Once trust has been broken it can never be repaired. Staying with a cheater is just biding time. It never lasts. I'm sorry.

If it was a call of seconds it could (to give him more credit than he deserves) have been an accidental pocket dial. However, have you checked incoming calls as well to check she didn't call him back?

That doesn't explain why her number is still in his contacts and why she isn't blocked on every channel.

why would he even have her number/contact details if he's meant to be with you?! Fuck that shit!

What time of day did he call? Was the call answered? Does it show in his phone as a name or as a number?

Your husband is a cheat. This is what cheats do. Get rid of him or you can keep going through this bullshit.

You can never trust him. End of story.

Well she clearly wants nothing to do with him, does she? About time you made the same decision..?

Why he has his number is important here. It should have been deleted.

How long since it ended/you found out? How did you find out about the phone call? Did he forget to clear his call history?

hi all so so sorry I dont know how to respond individually. husband was at rugby practice (he gets picked up and dropped off by his friend). Call was seconds which makes me think it went to an answerphone.
Agreed, up until now I had no idea he still had her number!

Did he definitely call her? Or did she call him and he hung up?
Sounds dodgy if he called her, maybe he was testing the water ...

he called her it was an outgoing. Am I being crazy thinking he shouldnt even have her number?? Its supposed to be over!

No you aren't being crazy at all.
What do you want to do now? Have it out with him or watch what happens and see if he does it again. I guess once could be accidental but more than that is a bigger problem.
He should have blocked her though, at the very least. So sorry 🙁

He should have her number no.
maybe say nothing and keep checking over then next few weeks. Will he tell you the truth if you ask?

*Shouldn't

Is it possible he keeps a second phone to speak to her. And that he called her off the wrong one accidently?

If he says he doesn't have her number, and he clearly does, that's a massive breach of trust and I don't think I'd be able to forgive and forget.

trust? i dont know. i thought this was totally over.. i closed the screen as i saw but im pretty sure when i looked at the log it was only a matter of seconds which makes me think it went through to an answerphone..i saw that someone also said testing the waters..do you think because her number is still there that he intends on trying again? I know the only person who can really answer this is my husband but right now I cant really trust what he has to say or what explanation he could possibly have. Not only should he not be calling her but what the hell is that number doing there

If this isn't enough to put you off him for life, hold your cards close until you get some more "evidence" and you feel able to cut him loose, or tell him what you have seen (be ready for the what were you doing snooping in my phone diversion) and ask him outright, which will just lead to him being more careful in future to cover his tracks. If there's no valid reason you'd acept for him having her number and calling it then then save your energy, nobody is going to give you permission to leave him, you can decide when enough is enough and he's too untrustworthy to be partnered with.

1. who cares
2. who cares

Dump this cheating low life op - get to a lawyer

If he was drunk and regretted it her number wouldn't be there? I mean I've been there before I was married drunk dialling and then I panicked the next day and blocked so her number still being saved do you think he was testing the water and will try again??

How long ago did he last call her, OP? Sometimes my phone will randomly call people when I put the phone down. I wonder if it's somehow accessing the 'recent calls' list and dialling automatically? You would need to check his 'contacts' list to see if she's still there. If she is then you might have a problem.

Not sure Cath57 this is the first time since the affair which was only 7 or so months ago so maybe her number has been in his contacts the whole time

One of two things maybe...testing the water to have her message him about a missed call
Or letting it ring to say he's there if she's also involved/married
Either way he'd be out!