Relationship ended

[emjay1996]

How do you get over someone your so in love with
Feel like my world has ended :'(

So sorry, it’s really crap isn’t it, my only advice is to take one day at a time. Talk some more here about it, if you think it could help.

So crap. It's the worst feeling ever.
After years together, I just don't know how I can continue with life.
It hurts so much, I can't sleep, I can't eat and I'm constantly crying

Been there a couple of times. the best thing is to stay busy. Luckily the second time I had a couple of friends around to keep me busy, even if I just tagged along while they were doing their daily errands. Exercise, write in a journal, talk to friends, get immersed in work and push past your goals. Those are the things I did to keep my mind off the pain, but basically unless you are already checked out by the end of the relationship, only time will heal it (cliche but usually the truth)

It will pass in time, been there after being with someone 9/10 years.
Keep yourself busy, rest/relax/have time to yourself. Some say oh get out etc etc, sometimes it helps other times it doesn't

No advice. I’m in a similar situation and I’m struggling too. It’s tough. Treat yourself kindly, this is a bereavement of sorts and you will need time to grieve. I’ve gone through all of the emotions, all of the stages of grief, and have finally got to the point where I’m accepting.

There’s a part of me that thinks it’s fate - that if it was meant to be then it would be, so I will carry on and rebuild my life and if he’s meant to be in it, he will find his way back to me. This quote helps me too.

Stay strong, your life isn’t over. Life as you know it may be, but don’t put pressure on yourself to get over it. Don’t put pressure on him to come back (failed at this one!) and it will all sort itself out in the end.

Most people have been through the same, recovered, and become happy again. You just need to wait and accept that this is a patch of sadness in your life. It's not forever. You'll see it differently soon.

Thankyou all for all your replies.

Question to those who have been through the same, do you ever stop loving them? Does it get easier to live without them?
I'm honestly broken

I am in the same position. No advice as it’s very new and raw for me too, honestly heartbroken.
Here if you want to chat.

So sorry your going through the same

I just don't know how I'm going to get over this.
Everything just reminds me of them. Sounds strange but even just everyday things that are laying about and stuff as silly as the blanket we used to cuddle up together in on the settee..
Laying in bed and their not there anymore..
Literally everything is just linked back to them.

There are just pieces of them everywhere I look. It's breaking my heart

I know how you feel, everything reminds me of him and I’m wondering all the time if anything reminds him of me. It’s not easy, wish I had the answer for us both!

I know exactly what you mean - he bought a lot of the stuff in my house so whenever I use my coffee machine it reminds me of him, use the Firestick to watch TV, he bought it, all my mugs from holidays we went on together, pictures on the wall of our holidays, ornaments he bought me, he even bought my bloody sofa and big squishy cushion so when I sit down and relax my first thought used to be “thank you DP for making me so comfy” and it still is, but now with sadness!

He didn’t really have anything of me or mine at his house, so I’m sure he’s not really reminded of me regularly. He had a little figure of me, but I imagine he binned that. And a painting I made him which he still has. But he moved house so I hadn’t even set foot in his new space since he bought it.

That doesn’t mean he’s forgotten me at all. I know he missed me too, but I think he’s much better at compartmentalising, so left me mentally in the past and started trying to rebuild his life. I’m finding it harder, as I make strong associations with music, smells etc Even doing a specific task at a job I didn’t have when we were together reminds me of him, because I must have thought about him the first time I did it and it’s now ingrained!

If you’re tempted to go back, don’t. I had one night of my old relationship back and it’s set me back months, like I’m now breaking up with him all over again.

Exactly how I'm feeling at the moment.
I just seem go associate him with everything and it's literally tearing me apart.

I'm so sorry you feel like your breaking up with him all over again. I have to admit though.. I am hoping with all my heart he does come back to me :(

It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in feeling like this, but then again I wouldn't wish this feeling on anybody.

I honestly just don't know what to do with myself.

How long have you been split up with your partner from?

We were together 9 years (never moved in together as we both had DCs from previous relationships and didn’t want to put them through all that blended family stuff). We split up before Xmas and hadn’t spoken a word since, but I accidentally butt dialled him last week, which set off a chain of events, leading to me sleeping with him, and him then freaking out when it became apparent that I thought it actually meant something . I’m broken.

You always think you won't get over it but you always do.
You always think your life can't carry on but it always does.

Getting out into a new environment can help. So join a new class or group and go to a meet up and just talk to new people about things that aren't this.

Then plan your new life and make it even better than when you were with that person.

Also, if you're this upset over the wrong person, think how great it will be when you meet the right person (who you now can meet since you are available)

Thanks for this thread. My DH has moved out five weeks ago, we were together 20 years. I have been struggling. We were not good before he went so my feelings are very mixed. Sometimes I am desperate to have him back, other times I remember what wasn't good and I am ok. I started having panic attacks and had to get tablets. I had a bit of a breakdown from stress. I feel better today but the thought of being alone and a single parent or co parenting scares me. I am scared of the unknown before me.

Oh you poor thing mummyrocks. Sounds like a huge upheaval for you after all that time. Things will get better and you will build a great new life for yourself and your DCs.

If you’d like some support in doing that, there’s a book called I Am The Parent Who Stayed written by a brilliant MNer called Nina Farr. She went through some absolute shit when her marriage broke down and handled it all with magnificent grace. She went on to write the book, plan and deliver a program to help women through traumatic break up and become the leader of their own family. Might be the pick me up you need.

I am in the same situation. Havent eaten for 5 days, cant sleep, cant think of anything else. Grieving for the future i thought i was going to have with this person. Just know your not alone ❤

Allow yourself to grieve (I’d recommend pouring it all on paper). But also try to come up with things that’ll distract you from obsessing about this relationship. And change your environment. You may not be ready to throw away the things that remind you about the relationship yet but at least store them away from now, and get yourself some small things that’ll be the token of a new start!
It gets easier with time, I promise you. I recently read my notes from last year, fresh after my difficult breakup. I can’t believe I was agonising over someone who feels so insignificant now!

Seems like we're all going through the same at the minute.

I have no friends and family which is why I turned to this. In hopes that someone had been through the same and came out the other end.

Its just so hard when you've had years of memories, your day to day life with them is your 'normal'. And now, everything has just completely flipped upside down and I just can't see how life can go on without him.

Would it be easier if things were on bad terms? Say, if they actually did something to you that made you hate them? Would that make it easier to accept?

He was literally the best person inside out which makes it so much harder for me to accept.

I still can't eat, sleep, constantly crying. I just can't function at all

Sorry to hear this op. It will get easier. Was it him that broke it off? Seems as though you ended on friendly terms either way.

Yeah he ended it with me.
He wanted to leave it on good terms but what exactly is good terms when all contact just stops?
I mean we've not had any contact since and I feel like he's finding it easier not to contact me.. where as me, all I want to do is ring or text him.
I'm trying so hard not to read through old messages and look through 100's of pictures of memories on my phone.
How do you even delete them

Ughh

I don’t know if it is easier tbh when they’ve done something bad. What my ex did and said was absolutely I forgivable at the time, but it still broke me to have to finish it, and 6 months later I would accept any amount of shit to have him back. Which I know isn’t healthy, but it’s how I feel.

Unforgivable ffs!

I was planning to put all my photos onto a hard drive or something so I could delete them from my phone and stop seeing them all the time. We had so many great holidays and every couple of weeks I get a reminder of one of them on my photos He said he was considering doing the same as they’re torturing him too! But I didn’t want to delete any shared albums because then he’d lose access to my photos and I didn’t want to contact him to ask in case it opened up something, which is exactly what happened

Ugh why is life so hard?

I am with you too. I found my ex on a dating website a few weeks back, complete shock and am gutted. No going back as there is no way I can get over it but doesnt stop the hurt and longing to speak to him. I can't just turn off my love for him sadly. Luckily we hadnt moved in together and so splitting is easier in that respect. All of the hopes I had for my future are now gone and I feel so alone. Both my DC will be away at Uni by the end of next summer and it will just be me. I am mid 40s and just see a long lonely life ahead.