Coke...i'm not even sure I know this man

[OhHeckNotAgain]

I met a man a few months ago and have grown really fond of him. Initially I loved his personality, i'm drawn to people who think deeply and have a bit of passion for something so it was a refreshing change from some of the idiots i've met. But then he admitted he takes coke, not knowing much about it myself I turned a blind eye, thought it was occasional. It turns out it's a huge problem, this has come from him so he isn't in denial about it.
His behaviour is erratic, he blows hot and cold but he's never nasty.
I'm questioning everything now, the initial spark between us, how he was so keen on me. I dont know if I should just walk away. I suppose what i'm asking is how does coke change a person? When he's on it he's warm, chatty, funny, and happy i'm around, we have long intense conversations and a lot of laughs. But is that the real him? For instance, i'm a warm loving person but i'm very shy and awkward, if I have a drink i'm more confident but i'm still me.
For the record, I dont approve of it and i've never touched anything myself but I do understand addiction and how hard it is. I know it doesn't automatically mean someone is a bad person. Would I be crazy to even contemplate sticking around? He is a genuinely nice person, that much I do know but i'm unsure how he feels about me because he's so up and down. I dont know which is the real him.

When i've mentioned his confusing behaviour and how it makes me feel he very firmly tells me he's done nothing wrong, that he's never made me any promises

Is this what you want from a man @OhHeckNotAgain ?

He sounds awful, and he's a druggie. Please block him.

And there is a risk you might get into it as well. So as well as protecting yourself from someone who's not treating you well, blocking him will protect yourself from that risk.

You say you're shy and awkward- that can be the sort of person that gets into drugs to relax or feel more social. I'm not saying you would do that, I'm just saying you should bin him because of how he's acted, and on top of that, just in case, to care for your well being.

I can see if you were suffering some stressful events he might offer you some drugs, and someone in distress might take him up on it.

Either way, how he's treating you is awful- please block.

The only way to go is zero tolerance. Bradley Cooper on coke = zero tolerance for me I'm afraid. Will not even consider it. No drugs at all.

Are yo u seriously asking "should I continue to date aCoke addict who admits his usage is a problem?????

Sorry, cant remember which posters asked which questions but I do have kids yes, but they're adults and it's always his place I go to as there's no privacy in my house.
I'd never touch drugs, apart from the odd joint when I was a teenager i'd never touch anything so that isn't something that worries me.
I think i'm not going to make a big deal out of it but just back off quietly, if i'm right he wont particularly care anyway, he'll be too busy. It's a shame, I honestly don't believe he's a nasty person. But he isn't being fair to me.

Why not just end it OP? "I've had a think and this isn't working for me. I think a clean break is better and my mind is made up so need for us to discuss it. All the best." Something like that: Then block. Instead of doing a slow fade. If you don't think he's nasty, there's no reason to keep putting him in your orbit 🤷🏻‍♀️

just tell him it’s not working out, wish him well

I think you are right to end this OP.

If you were in the sinking balloon (that famous game) with an addict... he would throw you out before his drugs/drink. You don't need to spend your life always having to look out for yourself and knowing that he won't have your back if his fix is threatened.

His poorly funded life (the one that makes you sorry for him) would soon be yours to share.

We are all a bit careless about where our shopping comes from but drugs are worse than just a bit unethical. Their production and delivery literally costs lives -ruins families-destroys neighbourhoods.

He buys these illegal drugs and is therefore an active patron of criminals and a supporter of crime. His involvement is not over- it is ongoing.

Walk away. Now. Do not get involved.
Involvement with an addict is hell, my h was an alcoholic. He nearly bankrupted me, abused me verbally, embarrassed me in front of colleagues ( his and mine) put me in danger ……. The list goes on.
In time his addiction will come first, you will be second and quite likely used to supply his addiction.
Plenty more nice, genuine men out there. Just walk away.

Definitely end it. But my advice? Don't get into a conversation about the reason. Its odds on he'll agree to stop using it or claim MH problems (which if he doesn't have he will in time tbf) and vow to get help if only you stay around to support him (he can't do it without you, you see) He may be very convincing about this and you may decide to give him a chance. And so it begins...

Just to add, if coke only lifts him to fun and interesting, without it he will have the personality of a dead slug.

Just get rid - cokeheads are low life scum

A few months. You don't know him at all. Run.

He probably isnt a nasty person. Drug addicts doesnt make someone a bad person. It does however mean theyve got huge problems, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and various other issues. Its such an expensive and addictive drug. Its such an ethical shitshow too.
He wont ever be able to give you what you need as he doesnt have it to give.
I might be friends with someone like that, but nothing more.

Oh OP. Please don't become another woman who tries to "rescue" a flawed man. These are his choices, his responsibility- don't make them yours. It sounds like he's in denial.

Just end it. Whenever women say they think they'll just let it slide or stop replying or whatever, it usually ends up that they end up being back involved with the person.

He has nothing to offer you except money worries and the drugs will make him incapable of a fully functioning relationship.