Could you live with another woman like this?

[Perfectlyadjusted]

It's just a fantasy I have in my head, but could this ever be a reality?

Me, my 3 kids and another woman and her kids (up to 3 as well I guess) living in my 5 bed house?

Living with my (male)partner didn't work out, and I really love the company of women. I'm quite a feminist. I can imagine a grown up house mate situation. Baby sitting when needed, shared cooking (I'd still have a cleaner as I can't deal with all of the hours...) and a few chats now and again.

I just think that sounds like bliss. Maybe not for ever, but for a period. I'm not envisioning staying up with wine and chatting every night like we're on holiday or uni all over again, but basically, yeah, like having a functional friend who knows what you're going through and is in a similar phase of life, pushing and pulling together a bit.

Has anyone ever heard of anyone doing this?

No way on earth,
sounds like a nightmare to me, I’m a single mum and no way would I want to live with anyone never mind someone else’s kids! I enjoy living alone with my kids, I think your fantasy will be very different in reality!

No, surely you wouldn't want to live with other children? What happens if it doesn't work out? Would you tell them all they had to leave? Can you really not see how it could all go belly up?

I think the dynamics between the children would be really tricky. What happens when you have different house rules about food and screen time bed time etc?

In theory I agree with you it sounds great. I used to think about it a lot when dd was a child.

I'm sure there was a thread once on here where people were actively looking for similar arrangements.

A good few years ago now.

Some people have done this, I've seen articles about it. Think it relies on quite unique and strong friendship though.

Matriarchal societies have been enormously successful, its not as strange really as some people think. Comes down to the individuals.

I did this for a couple of years, although this was in a rented property. You would need to make sure the woman is someone you would live happily together with: that you share similar values on how to raise children, tidiness etc.
I didn't know the mum I moved in with very well, it was a friend of a friend, however it worked out well, mostly..

It was a good experience as I felt more supported, and it helped to give a more stimulating environment for my DC who is an only child. For her it was a great experience, and she still speaks about this period fondly, and says that she wishes that we still lived like that. Negatives for me that caused some tension were that I felt that the mum was overly permissive in how she managed her child's behaviour, and that she wasn't very tidy. I was quite pleased to get my own place after a couple of years, but I can see that this arrangement could work out better and be even more long term with someone you really 'click with'.

The article below discusses this arrangement:
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/26/single-parent-flatshare

I know someone who did this .. it was a commune type environment (all women). Worked out well for her, the kids were all home schooled. Looked like she has a great time

I’m a single mum of three, so is one of my closest friends. We spend a lot of time together with each others kids, but I think living together all the time would be utter carnage 😬🤯

Not with kids. Too much scope for conflict.
After the kids left definitely.

Like step-parenting with extra PMS? No way. Other people's kids are hard to live with.

I had a couple of friends who did this. I think it lasted around a year. And they were really goid friends with each other. One had 2 kids, the other had 1. All under 6yrs old. They both worked at the same place and were under 30.
It actually ruined their friendship.
But you don't say whether you have anyone in mind? Is it just theoritical?

I think it could work if everyone had really strong and good boundaries about the house rules, those house rules being reasonable and mutually agreed by the women (not the children!).

The DC would have to have a say, though, as they grew up; so maybe via a weekly house meeting or something like that, to feed into the house rules.

But it's not for me, not these days. There's too much scope for falling out over all name of shite, from gender woo to whether the words 'platty joobs' should ever be uttered without a portable guillotine being wheeled out of the cupboard under the stairs.

I have one friend I could do this with with
only one however !

If you've ever been on holiday with friends and their kids you'll understand why it's a non starter.

I think it might work with a sister so that all the kids are related. Otherwise it would be potentially tough if the kids rowed, as they invariably would.

No way would I live with someone else's kids. 6 kids sound like chaos.

No way, I think women are too territorial over home and children. I spend a lot of my time with my best friend and we love each other children (they’re actually the o my children other than my own I even like) but we could NOT live together.

I can't stand my own kids half the time, I certainly would not want to live with someone else's.

There was a programme about this a few yearsvago. A bunch of women and their kids lived together in a massive house. It seemed to work quite well.

My mum did this when I was little; she and her friend had just split with their husbands so we all moved in together for a few months. I’m still friends with the other woman’s daughter but my mum is no longer friends with the woman.

In the US I think it’s called a Boston marriage (??)

It might be tricky with kids. Ideally I’d leave it till they are gone

I sort of did this for a few years, we were both single parents but only had one child each, both the same age. We lived in separate flats but had an adjoining door which was kept open most of the time. It was lovely to have company, we spent most evenings together and took it in turns to babysit every couple of weeks, other times we’d get a babysitter for both kids so we could go out together. It ended naturally when the kids were about 7 or 8 and we both wanted more space, we moved to separate places but only a few minutes walk apart so we still spent lots of time together.

Hell no

I've shared more than one house with different people (never with kids though). Having said that, I only see this working if you really knew the other person well beforehand, but experience tells me you never know sb until after you've actually lived with them.
From the top of my head, all friends previously: the wonderful person who kept vodka under the bathroom sink, the good girl who had a horse but could never afford rent though she could afford massages; the lovely girl who was a serious case of cleptomania; the lovely friend who thought she could borrow my things, ruin them and not even bother to return them; the great friend who literally stalked me as I went to visit another friend becaus she wanted to know who I was visiting etc etc . I have plenty of stories, based on my experience alone I would never ever take the risk with children added to the mix.
I also should add I had a truly wonderful relationship with a cousin, as teenagers, and we went abroad to visit another family friend, but after less than a week we couldn't stand each other and she was not only family but actually adored.

I sort of did this when dd was around 5/6 with my best friend. It didn’t last 9 months and it didn’t end because of the kids which surprises me because I don’t like most children. It was because me and my best friend have different personalities and being under the same roof just exacerbated those differences. We’re good for a few hours together but 24/7 just didn’t work for us. Plus I’m very introverted and I don’t live with other people very well.

i think if you find someone where everything lines up well, including personalities then I think it could work.