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Original poster

Could you live with another woman like this?

40 replies

Perfectlyadjusted · 04/06/2022 11:41

It's just a fantasy I have in my head, but could this ever be a reality?

Me, my 3 kids and another woman and her kids (up to 3 as well I guess) living in my 5 bed house?

Living with my (male)partner didn't work out, and I really love the company of women. I'm quite a feminist. I can imagine a grown up house mate situation. Baby sitting when needed, shared cooking (I'd still have a cleaner as I can't deal with all of the hours...) and a few chats now and again.

I just think that sounds like bliss. Maybe not for ever, but for a period. I'm not envisioning staying up with wine and chatting every night like we're on holiday or uni all over again, but basically, yeah, like having a functional friend who knows what you're going through and is in a similar phase of life, pushing and pulling together a bit.

Has anyone ever heard of anyone doing this?

OP posts:

Manova14 · 04/06/2022 15:01

My mum had friends who did this in the 70s when they left their husbands, before the single mothers pension was a thing. I enjoyed visiting the home. Very different vibe with no dad around and two women running the show. I quite envied the kids.
Not sure how it was for the women or how long it lasted.
There was a sitcom about this, Kate and Allie.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_%26_Allie

Beamur · 04/06/2022 16:03

A friend of mine did something similar after her marriage broke down. She lived in a friend's granny annexe and they both had kids (hers not all the time). It worked really well for a while until she got a place of her own. Living in the same house would take a special friendship.

Furrbabymama87 · 04/06/2022 18:50

Absolutely not, I couldn't live with someone I wasn't in a relationship with, and other people's kids would do my head in.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 04/06/2022 19:11

My dp was brought up on a commune (this is the only thing I can relate this to) Things were amazing at first but it wasn't long before things went tits up, kids not getting on and Mothers having differing opinions was one of the factors why it didn't work.

frozendaisy · 04/06/2022 19:33

Right other family, yes definitely, not sure 5 bedrooms enough but in theory I think it could work out.

Everyone would need to start off honestly, perhaps a group meeting once a week but yeah why not. Two adult females helping each other out with childcare, chores, companionship.

custardbear · 04/06/2022 19:56

Pick a nice neighbour

EpicDay · 04/06/2022 20:20

I lived with another single parent family when I was a child. My mum was on her own with my sister and me and her best friend was on her own as her husband was working overseas (she had two kids). It was pretty good for a while although it was a bit hard as three of us kids got along really well and the fourth got left out quite a bit. I think it helped the two mums through some tough times but I am not sure that it would have worked as a permanent plan.

LemonDrizzles · 04/06/2022 20:27

Initially I thought with cost of house prices, than living, 2 couples co buying a house might be inevitable...

Now I'd just like my dc to have friends on our street

easyday · 04/06/2022 20:37

No, but I like my space and do not need the company of another.
I think if you have three kids at most you'd be looking mother with one. Even that means two of the kids have to share.

BiscoffSundae · 04/06/2022 20:39

I don’t think someone with one kid is gonna want to move in with someone with 3 they would definitely be getting the worse end of the deal, someone with one kid isn’t likely to want to live with 3 other non related children.

mumsys · 04/06/2022 20:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Moodycow78 · 04/06/2022 21:12

There was a lovely book about this a few years ago I thought it was a lovely idea but I only know one person I could maybe do this with.

AdalbertWafflin · 04/06/2022 21:15

A Boston marriage I think it is called in the US?
I'm a mature student and have often thought a situation like this would suit me short term. Life is expensive so sharing some bills is an obvious plus. DS is an only child and it would be nice for him to have more company. I'm fairly relaxed and easy going to live with and having another adult around for a glass of wine on an evening would be perfect. I've had roomates before with no real issues. The financial perks of a relationship, the supportive perks of having someone in an emergency plus having adult company as a single parent sounds like a win to me.

KeyErro · 04/06/2022 21:21

Yes, like a pp says, it's known as a Boston marriage.
I would consider it.
You'd need good boundaries, crystal clear understanding on financial arrangements, enough distinct space for each family group to have time away from the other, and pre-agreed dispute resolution.
And probably a set time limit, maybe 4 or 5 years max?

TheWayTheLightFalls · 04/06/2022 21:28

There were a couple (or three?) divorced mums who did this in East Dulwich in the last decade; I think there was a book about it.

I would, with the right woman. I have a few friends in my life who I know well, and I suspect we’d be better supporters and co-parents to one another than our male spouses. But, yes, issues over discipline…

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