Hi
I'm F30, he's M48 or so. We've known each other for a few years but have got close over the past 12 months, but I think I might have messed things up. I don't know if I should have bothered showing interest in the first place. Sorry for such a long post, but this guy is so unusual and different to other men that he needs describing as well as I can.
We know each other at the gym. He looks fantastic, a lot like Daniel Craig getting out of the sea in Casino Royale – I've seen him chopping the trees in his garden in just his shorts. I also notice that he's stronger than most of the guys much younger than him at the gym. He dresses well, he's well-groomed, nothing out of place. Me, I look after myself, I also exercise a lot, and am pretty athletic and toned. He carries himself well, good posture, and I notice that he's dominant among others at the gym – the other guys move out of his way as he walks around the kit, he has that physical presence. He talks to a few people there, and I see that he's very charming with people and they seem to like him. To look at him, you'd think he was getting dozens of women into his bed, but...
He doesn't socialise, as in at all. He told me that he has no family, never married, no brothers or sisters, his parents died years ago, and doesn't do anything with his relatives. He says that he'd tried to create a relationship with them after his folks had died, but he and they found that they had so little in common that there was hardly any point, so neither he nor they keep in touch. He also won't talk about his parents or his childhood – he'll quickly change the subject with little fuss to something else.
As far as friends go, he says he has them, but I've never seen him with any on his FB feed. He does sometimes have comments on his posts, but it's very rare, and they're almost always from the same few women. Men hardly ever comment on anything he writes. He goes everywhere alone, except for protests, where he usually has the same women around him, and they all look pretty happy. He protests for a cause he's passionate about – and writes about on FB – and it's something I'm also in full agreement with. It's mostly how we got to know each other and bonded.
I see from his FB that he does visit places, and he likes history and the arts, but again, he goes everywhere alone. He took himself off for the day on his birthday last year, and I was a bit shocked when he told me that no, he hadn't gone with anyone, and that celebrating his birthday with people wasn't something he did. He wasn't upset by it, just said it as a matter of fact.
He also doesn't like sport, at least he doesn't write about it on FB and he's never spoken to me about it. He reads a hell of a lot – politics, history, philosophy, psychology, economics, artificial intelligence – and writes short reviews about them on FB.
I've never seen him in any of the pubs or bars in our small town. Nobody we both know has told me they've seen him anywhere, but I see he sometimes posts that he's sometimes at different pubs in the afternoon. So, he has no social life.
We did have great chemistry, and I love being around him. I'd tease him quite harshly, and he'd do the same back. We both know there's no malice in it. We'd also flirt quite a bit. I think he might have asked me out when he said he wanted to show me some mansion and gardens nearby – it might be where he works as a researcher. He told me he dealt a lot with various professors and other people. I'd told him I'd like to, but when he tried to arrange a date, I had to tell him it wasn't convenient. I brought it up again a few weeks later, and again he tried to arrange, but I couldn't then either. He's not mentioned it since. He's gone quiet on me after that.
I did check out his car in the gym car park to see if he had a child seat in it, or women's clothing. I think he might have seen me do it as he was on one of the treadmills overlooking it at the time. I also used to live near him, so I could see when he was at home or not, and I'd told him I knew when he was in, and how often I could see he was away.
There are so few single men like him who have the same beliefs as we do on our cause, and ever less men who look as good as him. He's got a good sense of humour, and I notice that he laughs at things he's read on his phone, so he enjoys reading comments and responding to them. But he doesn't give me much. It's as if there's a wall. He wrote some time ago that he wishes people would realise that as far as people are concerned, he's seen and heard it all repeatedly – he also mentions stoicism. He has that expression of a half smile when people talk to him, and nothing seems to faze him.
I'd like to do something with him, but there's so little going on with him, and apart from our mutual cause, we've very little in common. It's as though he's got so little to give to people, or that he doesn't care that much about them. I see he cares a lot about wildlife, and he writes about the hedgehogs in his garden. I'm from a large family, but he has none. Am I wasting my time with him?