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Original poster

Fuck my life

60 replies

megapints · 31/05/2022 09:40

Feeling really down. I've had a really rough ride over the last few six years, husband walked out which actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise although it didn't feel like it at the time. Got into a relationship with an old friend a couple of years later, was really happy and then he died, very suddenly and my life fell apart. Took three years to rebuild myself... last week a dear friend confessed he had feelings for me (i've fancied him for a while) and invited me for a night away this week in a nice hotel, no pressure but just to get away from things if I wanted and a date. I can never afford to go away so this was really nice that he booked a hotel and said not to worry it was all on him.

I was really excited, arranged for my teenager to stay at her dads for the night. Got my nails and hair done. I even told other friends that I have a date. We are supposed to go tomorrow and he's just messaged me and said he can't go anymore, he's realised he still has feelings for his ex and it would be wrong to go. He's offered me the hotel room for nothing but I literally have no-one to go with and going alone would feel too sad. I feel broken and humiliated so I can't even talk to anyone about it. I haven't even replied as I just don't know what to say. I was so looking forward to this. I was fine before all this but it's just made me feel more alone than I have for a long time. Fuck. My. Life. Not sure what I want from this post but just needed to vent my sadness.

OP posts:
fedup078 · 31/05/2022 10:54

Join Meetup or some other social platform and see if there are any events in the area local to the hotel

fedup078 · 31/05/2022 10:55

P. S. He is a prick and should not have led you on . I feel your pain I really do , hate shit like this

TottersBlankly · 31/05/2022 10:56

I wouldn't go personally, I wouldn't want his charity.

It’s not charity. He knows damn well he has caused her unnecessary expense and inconvenience - he should do something to compensate for that, as a matter of courtesy.

I would go if extraneous expenses like transport didn’t make it pointlessly expensive. And while I like solo hotel trips, in this instance it would be better to take someone for company.

The OP’s disappointment in him is a different matter. I agree she has no further reason to be in contact with him. It’s a shame about their friendship - but he’d be sure to blow hot and cold going forward so it’s best cut dead.

CC32 · 31/05/2022 10:57

I agree with everyone else, take yourself away for the night and pamper yourself. Get a couple of face masks, a good book and relax!

Also, just to add that even though it feels terrible right now, you have massively dodged a bullet. Thankfully he was open with you before he got to involved with you. It would have been even worse if you had spent this time together and then he want back on himself! Try and find some small comfort in that OP. I hope you have a lovely time no matter what you decide to do!

BellePeppa · 31/05/2022 10:59

I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t reply to his text.

shiningstar2 · 31/05/2022 11:03

You sound like a small break would really do you good op. I know it's not the same but a little break with your teen daughter might be enjoyable for you both. Worth considering.

shiningstar2 · 31/05/2022 11:05

On the other hand don't go if you feel this would put you under some kind of obligation to this person who has messed you about

Bluetrews25 · 31/05/2022 11:06

I wouldn't go either.
What if he didn't pay? And then I'd have guilt if he did!
Can you see a good friend instead? A giggle with a friend always lifts me up no end. (I'm doing one tomorrow, and it is verrrry needed.)
Best wishes, OP Flowers

Thistooshallpass. · 31/05/2022 11:06

Sorry to hear the tough time you've had .Can't you send a call out to all your friends and see if someone is available to go ? I'm sure somebody could change their plans to come away with you . A relaxing time with a friend to chat and moan would be just what you need
His loss - you don't want someone who is still pining for someone else - at least he's been honest . Just a shame he only just realised .

Begoniasforever · 31/05/2022 11:13

I’m not sure I’d go to the hotel I think there is a potential you’d feel worse, at least at home you’re in your own place, own bed, sitting in a hotel room yourself will just be a really friggen big reminder.

you don’t need to respond to him op. I’m sorry this has happened.

ringemoooo · 31/05/2022 11:44

At least the bloke was honest with you and did this before you went to the hotel and slept with him. It would have been far worse if that had happened and then afterwards he said he still had feelings for his ex. I know you are disappointed but he has done a decent thing here.

Why not just go to the hotel on your own? It's a nice thing to do. Take a book or watch a film in the room. Enjoy a long soak in the bath or if the hotel has spa facilities make use of them. Enjoy not having to make your own breakfast for once and having a whole selection to choose from which you might normally not eat. Go out for a meal in the evening. Explore the area where the hotel is.
Think of it as a bit of a treat for you. Yeah, you were expecting to go with him but you can still have a good time on your own.

CupidStunt22 · 31/05/2022 12:00

On the positive side, at least he was up front and didn't tell you AFTER a night away in a hotel. Many would have done that.

Swayingpalmtrees · 31/05/2022 12:20

Can you invite a friend?

GentlemanJay · 31/05/2022 12:23

Life is shit at times. Just go by yourself.

gamerchick · 31/05/2022 12:23

No way i would go. Not a chance.

I wouldn't even reply to him tbh.

Pheonixgirl · 31/05/2022 12:24

I'd follow the suggestions about taking a friend or your daughter with you instead, you'll probably enjoy yourself so much you'll forget about your initial disappointment.

FHmama · 31/05/2022 12:57

"That's fine, I can arrange to bring someone else with me. Let me know what the details are to check in"

I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction. I'm so sorry you've had such a rough time.

Overthewine · 31/05/2022 13:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
megapints · 31/05/2022 13:37

To further complicate matters my eldest daughter (in her 20s) was promised the house to herself tomorrow night and she's made plans to have her boyfriend over. She's really looking forward to it as the poor girl has to share a room with her teenage sister and never gets the place to herself so I feel obligated to be out. I think I'm going to have to go and suck it up. Really want to tell him to go fuck himself though.

Unfortunately it's in a tiny village so not much to do around there and no spa.

OP posts:
Whooshaagh · 31/05/2022 13:40

Why not let your dd and her boyfriend have the hotel
If you’re not fussed about going on your own.

TottersBlankly · 31/05/2022 13:45

That’s an idea!

SophSoSo · 31/05/2022 13:50

I wouldn’t go either. I’m not against night away but yourself, but this is somewhere you I’d planned to go with him and I think it might make you feel worse.

Don't reply to him, you’re not here to make him feel better about what he’s done.

I am sorry you’ve been through so much x

Caminante · 31/05/2022 13:52

soundofsilver · 31/05/2022 09:56

You don't have to reply to him if you don't want to or aren't ready yet

Exactly...take your time until you know what you want to say.

What a horrible disappointment, I really feel for you.

CaptSkippy · 31/05/2022 13:52

Whooshaagh · 31/05/2022 13:40

Why not let your dd and her boyfriend have the hotel
If you’re not fussed about going on your own.

Yes, I think this is a much better idea. I think everyone involved will enjoy this much better.

Flyinggeese1234 · 31/05/2022 14:06

EcafTnuc · 31/05/2022 10:21

Does the hotel have room service you can charge to his details? If yes, go and pig out and relax on his expense.

WTF! Stay classy. Don’t do this!

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