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Original poster

Please tell me that good funcional marriages do exist

71 replies

katepilar · 29/05/2022 17:00

Kind of shocked by reading all the stories on "How soon after your marriage did you realise 'this was a mistake'?" thread.

I would like to hear the good stories. They dont need to be stories, really, just say that you are in a happy marriage and funcional family if you are.

OP posts:
ilovemyelectriccar · 29/05/2022 18:14

Yep, just celebrated our 40th anniversary and still very happy together.

Tiredalwaystired · 29/05/2022 18:14

In my close circle of five couples were all still married after a minimum of fifteen years.

pointythings · 29/05/2022 18:15

We were together for 25 years and the first 20 were happy and fully functional. Then life happened, but I don't regret marrying him any more than I regret leaving him. My parents were happily married for 50 years and I have friends who have been happy together for many years. You just tend to hear about the bad ones more on MN.

bloodywhitecat · 29/05/2022 18:16

Our marriage was short but it was happy and very functional.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 29/05/2022 18:26

Ours is good and functional after 20 years. We've weathered a lot of big stuff together and we do OK.

Fairislefandango · 29/05/2022 18:33

Happy, functional marriage here! 20 years next summer. Barely a cross word, great team, have fun together (and with dc). No divorces or bad relationships in the whole of my and dh's extended families. Barely any among our friends. As far as we know, of course!

MugginsOverEre · 29/05/2022 18:39

Ours is damn near perfect. Been married 8 years and together 18. We don't even argue really. Only time we spend apart is when either of us is at work. Everything else is done together from shopping to socialising. We even go with the other when picking up the takeaway just where we just have a nice wee bit of time out of the house together.

It's sickening really but we love it.

Frenchfancy · 29/05/2022 18:44

Married 28 years. Still very much in love. We function as a team and have a lot of respect for each other.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 29/05/2022 18:44

35 five years married - 37 years together -way better than functional!

My best friend thought DH and I would be no good together as we are too different. She was right about the differences... but it worked for us. It keeps things interesting.

Yes - we've weathered some very big (and some terrible) events over the years - but always found ourselves paddling in the same direction.

Badger1970 · 29/05/2022 18:44

We've been married nearly 30 years, and only had one break (just over 6 months) which probably saved our marriage. He's still the first person I'd call if I needed help. And him me.

It's far from perfect, there are times when I really question how on earth we're still sane but we have a great life, great family and the good always outweighs the bad.

Eddiesferret · 29/05/2022 18:48

... and this is EXACTLY what I have banged on about over numerous threads...

Why would anyone come on here and say their life is good.. all you will get from MN are the issues. MN has 7,000,000 unique subscribers every month !! So we are talking about 0.001% of the MN traffic immersed in turmoil.

ITS NOT THE NORM !!

Overthewine · 29/05/2022 18:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Overthewine · 29/05/2022 18:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Overthewine · 29/05/2022 18:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Ginger1982 · 29/05/2022 19:18

Together 10 years, married 8, 5 year old DS. Met him when I was 29 and we were each other's first long term relationship. We've very happy. We both work but also have time to do our own things and spend quality time with DS. We make decisions together and never argue. We split chores. We still fancy each other and we try to have regular sex. We're not routinely ripping each other's clothes off anymore but he's very generous and we seem to be very compatible drive wise. He occasionally exasperates me, as I'm sure I do him, and we both have our faults, but I look around at my friend's husbands and I wouldn't want any of them over mine.

I do sometimes find myself flabbergasted at what some other women put up with, but I'm quite a strong willed person and financially independent so would have no issues walking away if I had to. I appreciate not everyone is as fortunate.

OhDannieBouy · 29/05/2022 19:22

Very happily married and have been for over 10 years. He's the other half of me and we love just being together.

I think being friends beforehand helps, he's still me best friend now, even if we're having the odd occasional grumble at each other. 😂

SarahShorty · 29/05/2022 19:32

Maybe not a gleamingly positive story, though a very honest one.

DH and I met in the last year of school, dated for 7 years and married for a little over 7 years. First 2 years of marriage were great, the next 2 years after that we ended up being more like roommates rather than a married couple and drifted apart, we realised that we rushed into it and naively thought everything would just fall into place with minimal effort. Neither of us really knew what we wanted and life just felt empty and pointless. We still loved each other, but the flame was gone. After a couple of years of self-reflection, we eventually dug ourselves out of the rut and we're now trying to start a family. No pressure from in-laws, and have always been slightly curious as to why that is. Looking back, there was probably a 50% chance that a lack of children were part of the reason why life felt so empty for us, though that also means a 50% chance that our relationship would have completely buckled with children in the mix as we were happy to just have each other. Neither of us wanted children and yet couldn't figure out why life felt so dull. 3 months TTC with a CP on the second month, we're learning a lot and have a 'Fertility MOT' coming up in just over a week as we're both in our early to mid-30s, so we best get a move on as it's not as easy as we thought!

MrsMigginsCat · 29/05/2022 19:41

Together 30 years, married for 22. We have a functional and happy marriage. We've weathered a few storms, had a few horrible years, but there is nobody else I would have wanted by my side. He's my rock and he still gives me the fanny gallops when he's all dressed up.

2MinuteRice · 29/05/2022 19:57

We have only been married 3 years, but I look forward to her coming home everyday (I wfh). We were best friends for 6 years before that.

She calls me on the phone everyday on the way home so we can talk about our days.
We never run out of things to talk about.

We have 4 children between us who live with us full time. We parent together and it's rare we don't have the same view on kids etc.

Housework, washing etc we just do, there is no negotiation or arguing, the kids have smaller jobs and the rest we just do between us during the week.

Food shopping we like to do together. We meal plan for the kids together while watching tv or sitting in the garden.

We have 'date night' weekly. Even if it's just eating pizza at the kitchen table with candles.

I love my wife and love spending time with her, it's my favourite thing to do. I'm confident that she feels the same.

I read the same thread OP and some of the stories were so sad or horrific.
I did notice that a lot of the people were in new relationships and had found the right person

mistermagpie · 29/05/2022 20:05

In my first marriage I certainly realised within the first year that it was a terrible mistake. We had been together 9 years when we got married so I can't say I wasn't warned...

My second marriage is completely different. We are really really good friends, he's a 'nice' person (the kind who put himself out for others and does volunteer work and things) and we just work really well together. We have three young children, and jobs and all that, so the wheels would come off very fast if we didn't support each other and operate as a team. We are just generally kind to each other and even when he annoys me, I know that he's a good person and he has my back. I'm very lucky, because a lot of the marriages you read about on here sound miserable to me.

SecondarySnob · 29/05/2022 20:13

Married 12 years. Best decision I ever made.

My husband is a kind, patient, generous, gentleman and incredible role model to our DC of how a man should act.

He's my best friend and better half.

FourChimneys · 29/05/2022 20:14

Over 30 years here. DH is the kindest and wisest person I know. We have never had more than the very occasional grumpy word, he does more than half of the housework, is a brilliant dad and is my best friend.

Original poster
katepilar · 29/05/2022 20:42

Thank you fore taking the time to reply :)

Yes, of course I do realise the nature of the above mentioned thread and dont expect happy stories on there. I just wanted to hear/read some good experiences too ;)

OP posts:
PurplePill · 29/05/2022 20:48

Not married but today my DP snuck out with Ds, whilst I was still sleeping, sent a text saying enjoy your day you deserve it.

Came back with flowers and a small little present. I spent the day watching tv, reading and then made a nice dinner.

DP came back with DS with flowers, and a small present.

been together 13 years, I do think sometimes people concentrate on the wedding day and once it over and they have nothing left to talk about/plan an anti climax sets in

Luxembourgmama · 29/05/2022 21:44

Me it'll be only 8 years this year but we've 2 small kids and we're really really happy. I'm very grateful I got lucky as I had bad boy taste previously