Is ED/PE the norm for 50+ year old guys?

[AppleJamToast]

After a long sexless marriage with a DH with very low and then no sex drive at all, I’m just trying to manage my expectations, but is it the norm for men past 50 to have ED/PE?

I want to feel attractive and have fulfilling sex, rather than get started and then feel deflated and have to pretend it’s not an issue.

Thank you.

The most virile man I have ever known was 52! He was astonishing!

my experience of 50 plus men is the recovery time is longer, Nerves make make it more difficult for them to get hard till they feel more comfortable with you sexually.

my current lover is best I have ever had and is 51.

Well, nature’s reason for sex is basically conception and you can’t do that anymore. I think Men are allowed to go off the boil a bit too.

If you’re simply looking for sex then you would probably be better off going for a younger guy. I haven’t met anyone with ED and I’m dating 35 - 50. I invested quite a lot of time getting to know someone and he is 40s with PE. Tbh I wish I had dtd earlier as I probably wouldn’t have got emotionally invested and would have ditched him. Now I’m in a relationship and hoping he will start lasting a bit longer soon! Better than ED I suppose.

My DH started to lose it in his 40’s, but alcohol and MH didn’t help. And he never did anything about it.
In his 50’s it got worse.

My partner is 55, he’s certainly not having any issues. His recovery time is probably longer but no ED issues.

Not in my experience! I started sex dating aged 49 and met quite a lot of men aged 27 to probably 60. Have settled with 56 year old bf.

I would say that the erections generally were slightly less reliable overall than when my partners were all younger, and they needed a bit more time to recover, but what that meant was much better and more imaginative sex... the best of all was a 51 year old man, erections not a problem, plenty of other options as well. Honestly, enjoy. I miss the feast if I'm honest. Current bf no problems at all and he's v lovely.

It’s a very good reason to go for the more fit and healthy man when you get into this age range. I had an ex partner who turned out to have PE aged 53 and it was horrendous - I really felt for him as it turned out he’d suffered his whole life with it and it clearly had massively affected his sexual confidence - but when you’re starting out a relationship having come out of a difficult and sexually unsatisfying marriage - it was too much for me to take on. He also didn’t seem to proactively want to address it which was a turn off.

My last partner was 53 and apart from a bit of DE and longer recovery time, was the best sex I’ve ever had. He’s very fit and strong though and I find myself more concerned at my age now (51) to look for someone who takes care of themselves for this reason (and also to minimise the risk that they’re a horrific snorer!).

Last partner was 20 years older than me in his 60s and he has ED. He was upfront about it from the beginning.

Our sex life was great. There's plenty that can be done to work around it. We tried viagra once but it didn't work and he was reluctant to try a higher dose. I was disappointed when he first told me about it but we didn't let it hold us back.

My last lover was 63. Very fit. No DE or ED or PE issues. He was perfect in bed...sigh.
Current lover is 56 and reasonably fit. Great sex. Tends to be a bit of a mornings only chap which is a slight disappointment as I do like a pre-sleep shag but not one that puts me off. He'd be up for it every morning mind you! We enjoy our lazy weekends when everyone gets what they like! He sometimes needs to finish himself off after my needs have been seen to but not everytime - depends on sleep, stress, focus. That said, I take longer than I used to as well.
Older men are fine. Be patient, they know their bodies and their issues just like we do.
Older men are also less likely to be threatened by using toys and more happy just to see you get your rocks off by whatever means necessary.

As a an I can only speak for myself but I am 63 now and I have been pleasantly surprised in recent years by how little has changed in that department. Neither desire nor ability has changed much, if at all. My DW and I still DTD at least once a week and I also masturbate regularly. Long may it continue!

My FWB is 53, certainly no ED and his recovery is very impressive. I tried dating a guy, also 53, but there was nothing happening below the belt whatsoever.

I think it impacts about half of men in their 50s. But that impact I assume can be quite varied. Quite minimal to quite serious.

Health seems to be a big factor. Maybe do your research and place your bets accordingly. Sorry I know that sounds crass

I'm 58, now with a 51 year old. No issues here, not a particularly long refractory period - life's good 😉

When I was dating I must have been fortunate, I only met one guy, in his late 30s, who suffered with PE.

Most of these things can be worked around. Men with either PE or ED can still enjoy themselves (men don't need to be erect to ejaculate) and if they can take direction then they can get me to orgasm with oral.

I'm perfectly happy with oral only sex though - if you're mainly into penetration I can understand it might be different.

PE is less common among older men, you might meets its cousin DE in older men.

ED can be an issue at any age, look for fit and active people, as other say refraction time can increase with age, so round 2 might be an issue & viagra is cheap and easily accessible these days.

testosterone levels might be an issue so an older guy may well be more up for sex in the morning rather than the evening

I would've thought that men who take care of themselves - not overweight, don't smoke, don't drink to excess, are physically active, eat well, etc - are less likely to suffer the health conditions that lead to ED eg type 2 diabetes, hypertension. That goes for any age, but especially towards middle age where unhealthy lifestyle choices catch up with them. If I decide to get into dating I'll be subtly trying to find out what their health is like ASAP 😉

I've dated a few in recent years and yes it seems common around the 50 age bracket.

My DH is 66 and we have no issues, have sex once or twice a week and he still pleases me very much. Yes, it used to be more frequently, and yes he says he has lost some sensation but it’s far better sex than I had with men in my twenties and thirties.

My partner is 57 and has completely lost his sex drive nothing like dead inside been 15 months and it's driving me crazy,he has hot flushes so think male menopause .

Life is so short, I can't be doing with a softie, dump and move on!

Watching with interest as STBXH had no problems in that dept -we last slept together three years ago when was 64 so it came as a surprise to me to know that this is an issue… Seeing a man of 54 who is very fit and active and healthy but with a low sex drive who did not have sex for a few years before meeting me snd only actually gets properly hard after falling asleep snd waking up. He was very reluctant to have sex with me initially-is now more enthusiastic but is very aware of not getting hard. I would happily settle for PE as he had never orgasmed with me 😟

My DH is 55 and no problems
but he is fit non smoker boxes 3 - 4 times a week and looks after his health

Been with DP 15 years. He is currently 55. Never been any problems at all. He's not a big drinker though.

My do is 60. He does have issues with PE and occasionally ED but that is less often. He drinks too much though so that doesn’t help and has no desire to have sex at night which I find annoying as I much prefer it then.

My ex was 54 and he could do it every day if I was willing (I wasn’t 😂)