Being married - how would I benefit here financially?

[OhPleasePassTheSalt]

I’d like to be married, I’m not against it but me and DP are not at that stage and focusing on expecting DC soon.

I understand broader tax implications that are better if married. But in terms of own finances, if he’s on say 100k and I’m on 70k, each already own our own home and have similar savings, what’s the personal benefit to me in being married? Surely if we separated I have better financial protection not being married as I could claim child maintenance?

I also understand the situation if I drop a day at work etc but again, I go back to the child maintenance position and if he wasn’t supportive generally with childcare while I was working then that would be the answer wouldn’t it? As it stands, DP says he will pay for all living costs (food, bills, mortgage) as he currently does at his place anyway since we’ve moved in, so I will just have my usual running costs of my own home to pay in the background.

Wondering if I’m missing something?

Following as in similar situation

Whats your pension situation?

What if, god forbid, your child needs to be cared for due to disability?

Being married doesn’t affect whether you get child maintenance or not.

If you drop to part time you will not be paying into your pension, you will also lose pension during maternity leaves. You will miss out on earning capacity a ls your career takes a backseat and potentially the gap in earnings will grow. If divorcing, this earning capacity would be taken into account.

@Vallmo47 are you expecting? I have probably always been a bit unusual in that I’ve never seen marriage as protection really, in that way. I don’t see how I would be safer financially by doing that - again aside from some tax benefit.

@DenholmElliot1 how would marriage help?

@LongDistanceLife ah pension yes hadn’t thought of that!

I am due to inherit a couple of small houses - hopefully - so in some ways not having to share that is also probably helpful though? Maybe not as sharing a pension, I’m not sure.

Read the post about being jealous of DH... Might give you a different perspective, although hopefully you don't face the same scenario

@Wnikat do you mean that could be claimed between a married couple if they just don’t live together?

Well if you needed to stay home and care for your disabled child you won't be earning will you? So if you split up, you won't have been paying into a pension, and your other half will have, but won't have to share it with you.

Not pregnant no but unmarried and owner of property so just following to see what good ole mumsnet has to say. :)

If you intend to take maternity leave, for one, two, three children, your financial situation, earnings and savings may be affected. A divorce would right this imbalance, but breaking up with a boyfriend, would not.

@DenholmElliot1 ah I see so pension is a big thing here. I hadn’t considered that actually.

It's because once children arrive it's (practically) impossible for things to stay equal. One parent will always bear the bigger caring burden, which even if that doesn't mean reduced hours, means less time and energy for a career. One career will almost always suffer once their are children. Which means pensions as well as earnings.

Child maintenance is what the absent parent pays the parent with residence as a contribution towards the costs of the child. It doesn't matter whether they were married or not.

It depends mostly on your position re assets, which you haven't disclosed here. Basically if you have more financial worth than your partner you could lose out upon divorce. You should seek advice from a family lawyer who can take proper instructions and advise accordingly.

@Lineala I have more inheritance (circa 500k at today’s value). However, he has more earning capacity - he will likely get to 170k whereas I will probably stay around 70.

Surely if we separated I have better financial protection not being married as I could claim child maintenance?

No. Everyone that splits can claim child maintenance married or not married.

Also worth considering what happens when you die (which you both will at some point) if you plan to be together forever then your relationship will end with the death of one of you.

If you're married you don't pay inheritance tax. If you're not, you do and your estate will be above the theshold.

You can talk about assets before marriage and chat to a lawyer about protecting them.

In your shoes, I’d take legal advice & possibly see a financial adviser.
Do nothing until you’ve researched your options, pros & cons, via the experts.
Knowledge is power, knowledge is key. Do some proper research.

Child Maintenon has nothing to do with being married.

Theres the pension situation.

However, not everybody is better off being married. I am not and so I won’t be.

However, me and dp don’t have kids together and will not be having them. So I feel there’s no need for me to risk my financially future or support him, should we split. He is building his own assets, as he has a lot more spare money since being with me.

I would suggest reading the ‘jealous of Dh’ thread though. Things change and plans don’t go to plan. That op planned to continue to work etc

If he were to die, you’re not his Next of Kin.
Have you made Wills?

Let’s say you have a child and then he dies. Technically his estate would be inherited by his child not by you. As the guardian of his child you would probably get to control what happens to their money. But (and I’m not an expert here) he could nominate someone else to look after that money for your DC until they’re old enough to have it. What would that mean for your home/living situation? If he has life insurance then he needs to make you the beneficiary of it, not his next of kin (child) so that you can pay off his share of the mortgage etc

Given that you’re due to inherit in future you may well offset the difference in your incomes, if everything continues as it is supposed to do. However, life takes many twists and turns that we’re not expecting so you should probably talk to a solicitor who can advise on the best way to set things up for you both to protect each other and your child(ren).

There isn't any benefit unless you take a hit career wise when the baby comes along. Not only will that affect your earnings and potential earnings, it will also mean your pension and financial stability take a hit.