Old, old schoolfriend back in touch...

[Joyfuldays]

I can't believe I'm typing this. We were at school together until A levels. Boys weren't really on my radar at that stage & we just saw each other around.

All these years on, nearly 50 years of age, he saw me on social media and texted me. Gave me his number. We had a couple of video calls. Many things in common, I never knew. He's back in our home town. I moved away, got married, had children, divorced. I developed a career, and eerily he is also in the same line of work. I am divorced now. He never married, never had kids.

I'm shocked at the connection. I think he likes me "like that". The texts have been a bit flirty, but we are both shy! He has grown up to be a wonderful man, caring and loving. But am I imagining things? He suggested he drive to see me, and we can have dinner. He rings me nearly every day. It's been about 3 weeks. What if I am imagining things?

Has anyone ever had a thing with a school friend, after many years? It feels a bit strange!

I must say that sounds marvellous!

Good luck, OP! 🤗

A little update... He is coming to see me next week! Trying hard not to overthink things. He bought me a little, thoughtful, gift from somewhere he had to go, and showed me another (meaningful) gift thing he wants to give to me. I hope this means what I think it means, but I am being careful not to create any expectation or to get any hopes up. Also, I am trying to stay aware that we might dislike each other IRL, or that the chemistry might not be there.

OMG OMG OMG. What will I do with him?! I'm so excited but nervous at the same time! I guess a walk, lunch (or tea if later), and dinner if much, much later? Don't say breakfast

We will prob meet & discover no chemistry, now! Things gone a bit less heated. Has he gone off me, or is he a bit more comfortable with the routine, now? Hmm!

I am being careful not to create any expectation or to get any hopes up
Good luck with that!!! 🤣 I'd be bouncing off the walls with excitement.

Of course be careful, etc etc bla bla bla... but shittin heck, I hope this works out a treat!

I think you're in a good position being happy on your own and not wanting to compromise that. I was in the same position when I met my now-DH.

Good luck with it OP and I do hope you will update!

P.S. you mentioned a mutual interest in museums etc...? maybe line up something like that?

If he turns out to be just a nice old mate from the distant past, well that's a nice development too isn't it. X

Thanks so much! I am really excited but working hard not to be too OTT to him. We are texting each other about this and that. He starts it in the mornings. 🙂🙂🙂

You’re right. Just a meet up with an old friend is lovely. But he is so special! Argh I really hope it works out!

On a side note, its so nice to be with someone who isn’t intense and psychologically demanding. He seems very stable and consistent!

Yes, museum & also a walk. There’s a lovely place. We could take my dog, maybe! Eek what do I wear?!! 😁

Good luck!

Stable and consistent, combined with not dull, sounds ideal. So does the museum/walk/dog scenario. As for what to wear, perhaps aim for something low-key like this...?

@Alcemeg Oh I dunno... isn't that just a little bit too... subtle?! 😆

@Jeansgoals Thank you sooo much!

Still in daily contact. We have a nice chat in the mornings before he goes to work, and sometimes in the evenings, too. He seems pretty sensible, really! He is sharing stuff about his family, has suggested I make contact with his ds about some work stuff. Hmmm... It feels like a getting-to-know-you of a relationship kind but what if I am misinterpreting?! I guess time will tell. Just one more night. Eeekkk can I lose half a stone before then?!

I was just thinking that sometimes a little visual cue can help things along 😁

Whatever happens OP, I hope you have a lovely time! 🥰

Update time.
We had such a great laugh! He was lovely. Definitely chemistry there from the start. Very lovely. Had a fun day, and then kissed and cuddled at the end. Did I mention that he is lovely? 😁

We are a “thing”. Taking it slowly (we live quite far away, both have commitments) but continuing to talk every day. We said we will see each other again in a couple of weeks.

😊Who would have thought it?!

@Alcemeg I hope you see this update! Decided against your choice of outfit on this occasion 🤣

@Joyfuldays aaaaaahhhhhhhhh 🥰 thank you for the update! I am so thrilled for you! I love this situation where there's just enough familiarity to feel confident, and just enough newness to feel excited about finding out more. Just about the only snag I can imagine is that if/when you finally get down to the you-know-what, he could turn out to have some bizarre fetish like strategically placed Tupperware filled with slime, or worse. MN is full of such horrors.

But why be wary of snags? Life is already full enough of complications and anxieties. I think when we do cautiously uncover a source of joy, we must accept the precious gift with gratitude and treasure it, knowing how elusive it can be. I can see this reflected in your username, and I hope this lovely episode in your life continues to unfold like a beautiful flower 🌸 💗 filling your life with happiness.

Thank you for updating, I've been checking the thread every now and again to see how it went.

Glad to hear it was positive. Embrace the fun and happiness!

Lovely update. Me and my dh knew each other as teens, lots of flirting, kissing etc but I moved away. We lost contact until years later, in our early 30's. He came up on Facebook as a suggested friend. I added him and we clicked straight away! We have been together now 7 years, married 1 year.

Hope everything works out

Thank you, everyone!
@Alcemeg 😂 No Tupperware fetish, but he looked so afraid. He has a health condition which means no sex for now, and I think this is causing him concern.

It is going sooooo slowly, I don't know what to make of it. In fact, any advice is welcomed! It certainly sounds like we are in a relationship - he talked about starting a relationship on a blank canvas - and he continues to phone at similar time every day, we chat back and forth, and we've briefly discussed projects to work on together in future...

But he's not really jumping to meet again... "let's play it by ear". On the other hand, he gets physical symptoms that put him out of play, and he had to have a procedure not long ago which has set him back.

Arghhhh... it seems difficult to navigate. I have a feeling that if I sit tight and be patient, I will reap some dividends. He keeps saying how much we have in common. Mmm and those kisses were very good!

Any advice welcomed!

Gosh how confusing OP 😣

I hope it's not like a chap I had an ongoing "is this a relationship?" thing with, for ages, before finally discovering that (not sure how to put this) he didn't really have a willy. That was a bit of a snag. I got the impression he had invested lots of time in building our non-physical intimacy in the hope that perhaps I wouldn't notice, bless him.

Good grief @Alcemeg poor you! I am pretty sure umm about 99% sure he has one 😁but he will def have health and medication problems. He is still being consistent about contact, so I do think it is that. We will get there... I think it needs patience...

Good luck but hmmm but good luck.

I thought the same.
'Eerily' being in the same line of work (could he just be saying that?)
Ringing you every day ??

I hate that we have to keep in our minds that he may be an abuser or a hobosexual looking for a meal ticket but (huge sigh) we do.
Go out for a meal, enjoy yourself, but one step at a time and keep your sensible head on.
Do you remember the incident where he says he defended you? That's the bit that pinged my alarm.
Keep us posted.

It can only go one way or the other but, like others have said, be careful and keep your eyes - and ears - wide open!!

It's already happened! He came here for the day and we had a lovely day. He's definitely in the same field - we talk work most days :-D We are also part of the same community; he lives back in my home town and everyone still knows him. All is kosher, I don't have any doubts on that front, but I am still guarding against getting hurt. There's a lot to take on.

Oh for Christ's sake