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Original poster

Is it wrong to have a crush on....

66 replies

ToTheNextChapter · 19/05/2022 11:47

....my child's primary school teacher?!

It's ridiculous actually......this huge crush has come out of nowhere and I can't stop thinking about him 😳.
Now I feel as though I'm blushing when he speaks to me - I'm in my 40's for gods sake (and he is much younger 😬)!

It's likely because I've just split with my H and this teacher has been so supportive to my daughter, my emotions are everywhere at the moment. But the distraction is very welcome if nothing else!

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 19/05/2022 11:48

Did you post about this before ?

Original poster
ToTheNextChapter · 19/05/2022 11:53

No...

OP posts:
Gotmynewshoes · 19/05/2022 12:07

It's not wrong to have a crush, just don't do anything about it.

Gotmynewshoes · 19/05/2022 12:08

Enjoy the distraction! Without doing anything about it...

Original poster
ToTheNextChapter · 19/05/2022 12:17

Ha ha chance would be a fine thing!
The things going through my mind about him are insane, it feels so, so wrong!!

OP posts:
seensome · 19/05/2022 13:35

It's not wrong but non stop thinking about it is a bit unhealthy, that's a lot of headspace on someone where it's never going to happen.

DidiSharma · 19/05/2022 15:53

A crush is not wrong and should fade away soon if you don't feed it. If not, then it might be limerence which is torture and very unhealthy obsessive thoughts.

I wouldn't worry about blushing. With the age gap he might think it's hot flushes, social anxiety or even rosacea. You can wear anti-redness make up and avoid the teacher or minimise contact. Avoid gazing at him, drop off and pick up quickly without hanging around.

To be frank, I would be more concerned about other mums noticing something as men generally don't pick up on subtle body language. Moreover, as a primary school teacher he is likely to be too distracted and time poor to sit and analyse every little interaction. He i probably splitting his attention between keeping the children safe in class and under control and listening to multiple parents fighting to grab a quick word with him.

I would say if he is young and attractive he would be eye candy for a lot of other parents there, too. And if he is a teacher (so nice with kids, probably the marriage and family type) and he is attractive with a warm personality that teachers tend to have he will be not short of equally attractive partners in his age range.

So it's not wrong or a big deal to crush but keep it under check and perhaps consider going on the dating market! Perhaps the crush is a sign you are ready for a new relationship?

Furrbabymama87 · 19/05/2022 16:13

Not wrong as you can't help it. Just enjoy the eye candy and do nothing about it.

Original poster
ToTheNextChapter · 19/05/2022 17:13

Thanks all - I've always loved picking my little girl up but have found a renewed enthusiasm at the school gates at the moment 😊.

I think it's been made worse by the fact that I was talking to him and caught him giving me a not so discreet look up and down when I was dressed smartly. I'm usually in leggings and no make up 🤣.

@DidiSharma thanks for your reply, it has grounded me slightly!

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 19/05/2022 17:26

Wrong? It depends on who makes the rules for you. Who does make the rules for you?

Original poster
ToTheNextChapter · 19/05/2022 17:32

He gave me his personal mobile number last year to contact him if I was worried about my DD at any time, not to worry over the weekend etc (she had been having trouble settling in).

I think I best delete it in case I have too many gins one night 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
ToTheNextChapter · 19/05/2022 17:34

Watchkeys · 19/05/2022 17:26

Wrong? It depends on who makes the rules for you. Who does make the rules for you?

I think having the hots for a man a decade younger than me is a bit weird, so I've probably deemed it wrong! Also my DD adores him as her teacher which also makes me feel weird.

OP posts:
DidiSharma · 19/05/2022 17:34

Did you end up messaging him? If you tend to have a few drinks I would say deleting his number is a good idea! 😅

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 19/05/2022 17:45

I would say enjoy it but pull yourself back a little. When DH & I were going through a really shitty time, I developed a crush on a guy & it helped. But oh boy I wanted to do extremely naughty things to him! I still think about him now sometimes, even though DH & I are in a much better place. He was absolutely sex on a stick & so nice with it! I hope his partner knew how lucky she was.

Original poster
ToTheNextChapter · 19/05/2022 17:48

DidiSharma · 19/05/2022 17:34

Did you end up messaging him? If you tend to have a few drinks I would say deleting his number is a good idea! 😅

🤣 yes I definitely will! No never messaged him, contact through his work email now and am not likely to do that when drunk!

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 19/05/2022 17:52

You're very restrained! Well done you! I just give into impulse and get myself into all sorts of trouble!

PeterPomegranate · 19/05/2022 17:53

As long as it’s the kind of crush you can enjoy without it becoming torture Id say it sounds like a harmless way of feeling feelings for someone safe and unobtainable. Almost like a pop star. You can’t date your child’s teacher.

Also I’d guess very common to have feelings like that. I know there’s a teacher at my son’s school that many of the mums have the hots for.

PeterPomegranate · 19/05/2022 17:56

Oh yes and definitely delete that number!

5128gap · 19/05/2022 20:18

Lol at the thought a young man would think blushing was hot flushes or rosacea. Those things won't even be on his radar unless he's very close to his mum!
You're a decade older is all, and if he wasn't your DDs teacher and you met him in a pub, there's no reason he might not see you that way, so don't feel ridiculous about yourself as a woman attracted to a man. Its normal.
That said, his professional position is a big barrier so you will have to put it out of your head. It might just be a sign you're ready to consider men again.

CandyApplePie · 19/05/2022 20:24

I fancied my sons primary school teacher, he was his teacher for 2 years, I later found out he was married to one of the other teachers and they’ve just had a baby, I cringe so bad now thinking about how he must have known I fancied him I didn’t make it obvious or anything so I hope he didn’t 😐 anyway chances are he is married/ dating anyway (the teacher never wore a ring) obviously I knew nothing would come of it but I think he must have known 🤦🏻

TheVolturi · 19/05/2022 20:31

I'm not sure if it's one sided, he should not be giving out his number...

elfgen · 19/05/2022 22:55

I was sure it was all one sided until you said he had given you his personal phone number. How many teachers actually do that? Are they even allowed?

Original poster
ToTheNextChapter · 20/05/2022 00:41

He had to WFH last year due to having covid so rang me off it as I rang school to speak to him. At the end of the conversation he just said you can call my number anytime if you need me again so probably just that he had to be at home.

We have a mutual friend who tells me he's definitely single. Still I'm obviously not going to do anything about it, it's just a bit of fun in my head that's all.

OP posts:
Original poster
ToTheNextChapter · 20/05/2022 00:44

On a separate note, I may have done a little search on his FB page 😬. Which is fine he'll never know, BUT...now he keeps popping up in my friend suggestions. I am really, really hoping that I won't appear in his friend suggestions! Will I?!

OP posts:
FlyMeToTheMoonandMars · 20/05/2022 06:32

I developed a crush on my daughter's primary school teacher when I was in my 40's. It was the start of menopause for me and the sex surge some women get. I was developing crushes all over the place tbh! Totally not like me at all. Hormones can do strange things to a woman. Might be just the way you're feeling though!
Delete his number!