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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My bf just lied straight to my face

55 replies

cordialqueenS · 13/05/2022 19:53

It wasn't anything hugely sinister but I'm shocked at the easy way he could lie and then get defensive as of his behaviour was somewhat acceptable.

He tried to convince me that he's told me something related before .

He walked himself into the truth.

He is not apologetic for disappointing me.
It's not a huge lie, he's trying to protect himself knowing that I am disappointed but still.
Would you dump?

OP posts:
cordialqueenS · 14/05/2022 11:07

What does managing her expectations mean please?

OP posts:
chisanunian · 14/05/2022 11:10

Once a liar, always a liar. Especially if they think they can get away with it by gaslighting you if they get caught out.

It is not a nice trait, and I wouldn't want a relationship with a habitual liar, sorry.

WTF475878237NC · 14/05/2022 11:16

I'd absolutely dump him for what you've posted here. What this is showing you is that he thinks it's acceptable to lie when it is going to be less hassle for him than examining his behaviour and being accountable. This way cheating lies!

Ohwowhoho · 14/05/2022 11:24

cordialqueenS · 13/05/2022 20:47

He didn't see it as something wrong . He saw it as a quick exchange of righting wrongs

This is bullshit. He knows he was wrong, he wouldn’t have lied about it otherwise.

Well done on leaving him OP. He is still lying and gaslighting you. Lucky escape I’d say.

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/05/2022 11:39

cordialqueenS · 13/05/2022 20:11

I'm just wondering what other lies he has told me straight to my face

This.

You were "shocked at the easy way he could lie" and you were right to be shocked ,and to wonder what other lies he has told you that got past you. He got caught out on this lie by sheer chance.

I also think that @JuneJuly is spot on, so I'm just repeating her post here:

Nobody needs to right wrongs of a relationship that ended 5 years previously, if they've moved on and are currently happy.

He saw her, remembered things through rose-tinted specs and obviously felt the need for further contact. He probably mentioned you and your relationship to send a message that he is now capable of having a nice relationship, to give her the sense of missing out & perhaps to make her feel jealous or have pangs of regret at not being with him herself.

As well as the lie, what would make me wonder about his intentions is the fact that the email was just not necessary in the first place.

There was absolutely no need to contact her, none at all. "Tie up loose ends" my arse!

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