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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I FEEL SO ALONE

42 replies

Chantelle2019 · 13/05/2022 17:21

Hi guys I need some advice and what I should do... Me and my partner have been together nearly 2 years he lives 5 minutes away from me, I haven't seen him since last Saturday... do I have the right to feel alone? and not a priority?, he has been off of work since the 3rd of May all he has really done is play his ps4 and smoke weed 😔. In 11 days we have only spent about 13hours together in total. He doesn't like coming to mine because in his words he's bored and there's nothing for him to do. I messaged him Monday asking if we can have a talk and he still hasn't bothered with me. It just seems like he only comes around if its convenient for him or if he needs something. I just don't know what to think or feel can someone give me some advice please

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/05/2022 17:23

Dump him. That's the only advice you need. Why you're wasting your time on this loser is beyond me.

B1rdflyinghigh · 13/05/2022 17:26

Leave him. He's clearly shown you by not responding to your message that you are not a priority in his life. You will be a priority to someone who adores you.

ExtraOnion · 13/05/2022 17:29

Why are you with him ? What are you getting from this relationship ?

Original poster
Chantelle2019 · 13/05/2022 17:30

@Aquamarine1029 @B1rdflyinghigh we have exchanged messages and had a couple of phone calls since Saturday but not much. I love him so much but I feel so alone and don't feel wanted.

OP posts:
Iamnotamermaid · 13/05/2022 17:37

Hmm not much of a relationship if you feel along and unwanted. Why do you love him so much? He has clearly shown that he is not bothered by what you want and need so let it go. Sounds like a lost cause...don't waste anymore time with this one and move on, sorry.

RandomMess · 13/05/2022 17:40

Playing PS4 and smoking weed is what he prefers to spending time to you for a whole 11 days.

Sounds like he uses you, that isn't love.

Halsie · 13/05/2022 17:41

Dump him. You deserve better

AttilaTheMeerkat · 13/05/2022 17:43

What is there to actually love about this man?.

Are you confusing love here with codependency?. This man is all too clearly showing you who he really is and he is also making you feel alone and unwanted. Move on with your life. Be someone’s priority rather than an option because all you’ve really been here to him is an option.

Fairislefandango · 13/05/2022 17:45

He sounds like a total waste of space. Not because of the lack of contact itself (not necessarily a big deal if he'd been really busy), but because he's spending his time on his console and smoking weed and can't be arsed to see you. Why on earth are you with him, OP?

whitewashing · 13/05/2022 17:48

What’s to love?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/05/2022 17:51

Chantelle2019 · 13/05/2022 17:30

@Aquamarine1029 @B1rdflyinghigh we have exchanged messages and had a couple of phone calls since Saturday but not much. I love him so much but I feel so alone and don't feel wanted.

I don't get it. What about his behaviour is there to love? He ignores you and spends his free time gaming and smoking weed. He doesn't want you, or probably any girlfriend. What a loser. Sorry to put it so bluntly. I think perhaps you haven't had good relationship role models growing up because everyone replying can see him for what he is, except you.

AskingforaBaskin · 13/05/2022 17:52

What is there to love? I would say he's just using you for sex but it doesn't even sound like that's happening.

Is there any chance he's already out of the relationship and not told you?

kateandme · 13/05/2022 17:55

It doesn't matter if he's right or wrong.but fyi he's wrong.but either way he's wrong for you.your miserable.him the way he lives is making you feel alone.that's awful!
Get rid.be happy.or at least not feeling this sadness curled by him.
Go have some fun.

thingymaboob · 13/05/2022 18:14

What do you love about him? He treats you badly and he sounds like a complete loser

Glitterspy · 13/05/2022 18:15

OP you deserve someone far more interesting, use the time alone to go out and find them!

Begrateful · 13/05/2022 18:18

That sounds like a massive, "Dump" that Loser" action to be taken!

PetersRabbitt · 13/05/2022 18:27

His just a boyfriend, not even a good one! Start dating and seeing what else is out there, if you find better…dump him. Easiest way to not be lonely is having another one set up before dumping the first.

PetersRabbitt · 13/05/2022 18:28

I know that sounds shitty, but men do it all the time, there’s a reason too, because it works!

VioletLemon · 13/05/2022 18:34

This isn't good enough, it truly isn't. Give yourself a break and set this loser free. Find a partner who loves you for you or even better, build up your confidence by takin taking up a new interest outside your usual realm of experience. You deserve to enjoy life!

Watermill · 13/05/2022 18:36

Bin him and spend some time looking at yourself and finding out why you would accept such a pile of shite and think it's a relationship. Flowers

Aquamarine1029 · 13/05/2022 18:40

You don't really love him. How can you love someone who treats you so poorly? You want to love someone. Don't waste another second on man who couldn't give a shit about you.

mumda · 13/05/2022 18:53

He's just not that into you.
Find a relationship that feels right.

Zemw · 13/05/2022 18:54

How can you have any respect, let alone love this man child?

You DESERVE so much better.

woodlandarchitect · 13/05/2022 18:56

I don’t think he’s that into you. I’m sorry :( currently going through similar myself!

find someone who is crazy about you, you deserve it

HollowTalk · 13/05/2022 19:23

What on earth do you love about this man? He doesn't pay you any attention and all he is interested in is weed.

What are you are feeling is not love. You need to end it with him for your own self-esteem and then work on your reasons for thinking such a twat is an attractive prospect.