Ex married the woman he cheated with

[Lulu996]

As the title says
Ex DP announced he was leaving me during my pregnancy and I later found out there was someone else and he had been cheating. They got engaged quickly and married last month I am torturing myself but they look so happy in their wedding photos. She knows about me and our young baby and since the wedding he hasn’t bothered to turn up to see our son. I am not usually a bitter person but I feel so resentful, how can he leave me to struggle during my pregnancy and with a newborn and swan off into the sunset. Has anyone been through a similar experience and managed to rebuild their life. He is still on my WhatsApp and he dosent seem to care about what he’s done to me I’ve never had an apology.

It’s reassuring to see previous posters that have gone through something similar and come out the other side. I find the weekends really hard I feel like I’m physically storing some kind of trauma and keep thinking they are probably together now doing all the things he promised me. I used to be so happy and confident before I met him, I’m younger than her too.
I know I don’t want him and he’s a shit grr maybe I just have to go through these emotions. Your replies are helping me x

They sound awful. They can be crappy people together and you’re better off out of it. What kind of woman would marry someone who doesn’t even want to see his child?

My ex married his affair partner too and I was fuming, people who get together through cheating don’t deserve to celebrate their love should be ashamed of themselves.

I was younger than the OW too by about 5 years, I think he likes that she had the confidence that comes with age

I think thr way the op is worded is misleading. When she says he was cheating. He means on his wife with her. And it seems there is a cultural element to this and the op isn’t quite sure what this woman knows or believes.

He cheated us both as I believed we were a couple, living together, he’d met my family and I’d met his friends with plans for a future and talks of marriage. I had no idea there was someone else which was extremely painful to find out. It hurts worse to know I may have unintentionally been the OW and how he managed to hide it so well as it goes against everything I believe it and I feel dirty for it. It hurt even worse because I was pregnant and he dipped in and out for 9 months knowing how vulnerable I was. Of course I’d feel sorry for her if she genuinely dosent know what he’s done and he’s spun her a web of lies. What he has done is devastating but to walk away from your own child and refuse to contribute financially is appalling and cowardly.

Op when you say you lived together, can you clarify, do you joint rent or buy together? You say she lived further away, why was he In your area, also did you ever meet his family?

We were joint renting and shared bills, we met online and he worked at the hospital close to where I live he still lives in the area now but has moved to another property, I moved back in with my family when our relationship broke down. From what I have learnt since, she lived in an area over 200 miles away from us I am guessing she has relocated to be with him now hence his sudden failure to have contact with our son. He had spoken about applying for a mortgage but had been declined due to credit. I hadn’t met his family as they living abroad. His son lived closer to her but still a fair distance away.

@Lulu996 I must have misunderstood the original post. Does she not know about you and your son then? She really ought to know as I can’t imagine many women would stay with a man who did this

Hi April

I sent her a message a few months ago to say I was the mother of his child and I think he may have been playing us off against each other. She read my message but mistook me for a colleague and didn’t ask for any more information so I left it at that. They have since gone on to get married so I’m not sure what he told her as I can’t imagine the appeal.

What, whilst he was engaged to his new wife? What an arse.

I hope Helen Skelton is reading this thread.

Yes! He attempted to gaslight me by saying I was mishearing things and he wasn’t engaged. Also told me two weeks before three wedding date that he was too old and had changed his mind about getting married again. It really took all of me to sit there and bite my tongue and allow him to have contact with our son by separating what he’d done. Just read Helen’s story how depressingly sad, she has a 4 month old too. 😔