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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone gone for the forbidden fruit and not lived to regret it?

80 replies

Theonlywayisup11 · 29/04/2022 18:59

I’ve just come out of a 10 year relationship. It is not public that we have separated yet, however men must be able to sense something in the air as recently I have had a lot of propositions. One is from someone who would be totally inappropriate and would cause extreme drama. Without saying too much he is the brother of an ex (identical twin brother at that!!!)

Anyone ever tasted the forbidden fruit without getting totally screwed up?!

OP posts:
tomatoandherbs · 30/04/2022 09:38

Op

there ARE children in this scenario. Indeed YOU have a child.

why the heck would you actively want to invite drama in to the lives of you and your child.

Parent-up OP and put your child first.

LoveSpringDaffs · 30/04/2022 09:38

With any of my 'significant' ex's I wouldn't as it would feel like fucking family No thanks!

Onwards22 · 30/04/2022 09:43

He also has a child.

So does he have a girlfriend/wife?

You said it would cause extreme drama.

There are so many men out there I’m not sure why you’re going for this one unless you’re trying to get someone’s attention.

jeaux90 · 30/04/2022 10:13

The best gift you can give yourself right now is being happy in your own company, get used to being on your own.

That way you won't want to make decisions that will potentially compromise you.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 30/04/2022 10:16

LetHimHaveIt · 30/04/2022 06:22

Couldn't agree more.

Exactly!
Grim.

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 30/04/2022 10:34

You sound so weird. I always wondered who it was that wrote into those glossy magazines about their complicated and messy tales of woe and it's you isn't it? Why do you want drama? Think if you reflect on that then it might tell you something important.

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 10:37

it’s very amicable right now, although I think we both hope for reconciliation.

Even more reason not to have sex with anyone else...

And especially not anyone associated with an ex.

Jl3003 · 30/04/2022 10:39

100%

youvegottenminuteslynn · 30/04/2022 10:42

I’ve told him no, but he’s quite persistent

@Theonlywayisup11 men who don't take no for an answer are never a good idea.

Pinkbonbon · 30/04/2022 10:56

I dont think I'd say the brother of an ex you must have had over a decade ago is forbidden fruit. Not for just a fling anyway.

So long as its not the most recent exs brother.

But he sounds like a bit of a creep who won't take no for an answer. So I don't think I'd go there.

Also...you sure it's actually the twin and not the ex, pretending?

MarshmallowSwede · 30/04/2022 11:12

Do you live in a tiny village with no other men?

You are single so there are lots of other men besides the brother I am sure. I think If you have energy to deal with the potential drama of sexing your ex boyfriends twin brother.. I guess

I think it’s a bit gross to sex the brother of an ex. There are many other men out in the world.. enough that you don’t have to sex siblings.

But that’s just me. I enjoy peace and would avoid doing anything that might potentially disrupt that. I also wouldn’t want to fuck every available male in one single family.

Chewbecca · 30/04/2022 11:12

Is he single? Are you both single?

Moonface123 · 30/04/2022 11:43

You are so vulnerable, sirens are screaming and red flags are out in force, regarding this user, yet your not seeing it .
He sounds vile, he' s not the slightest bit interested in what you' ve been through/ going through just after easy sex, then you probably wont see him again.
Wonder how many other women hes ussing same old lines on.

Anonforquestion · 30/04/2022 12:12

GingerDuo · 30/04/2022 04:02

I'm with the fuck the hot twin brigade!

I had a fling with a guy many years ago before marriage who I occasionally have brief catch up email contact with.

When my marriage ended I had a fling with a much much younger man. Farrrr too young for me but amazing fun!

Very recently discovered they're father and son 🤣

I can’t help but shake the fact that if you were a guy gleefully recalling having “amazing fun” with a girl young enough to be his daughter - and that he’d shagged her mum as well - it’d sound a lot more icky.

Itawapuddytat · 30/04/2022 12:21

Chances are, the twin has serious brother issues. "Bro, I've just shagged your ex!" Hot twin or no hot twin, I'd leave it! And he is persistent, you say?! Of course he is! He thinks he's finally got a chance now, right? Probably already imagines himself telling his twin and his pals all about it. Do you really need the drama? There are loads of guys in the world who are not connected to your past, loads of people you can have fun with without such hassle and complications.

Confusion101 · 30/04/2022 12:22

My current ex and I are very friendly, it’s very amicable right now, although I think we both hope for reconciliation.

If you are both hoping for reconciliation, could sleeping with someone else fuck up all of that?

Lana07 · 30/04/2022 12:47

How would your ex, his twin brother react to that do you think?

For me, it would depend if I had mutual feelings for the person, not based on other connections as long as it's legal.

MeOldChimp · 30/04/2022 13:08

People seem to be projecting madly on this thread. He’s the brother of an ex from 10 years ago. What’s the problem? Why is he a creep? Honestly, that is just slamming people you’ve never even met on zero evidence, apart from he’s keen, which could mean anything.

Everyone needs to calm down (maybe including the OP).

youvegottenminuteslynn · 30/04/2022 13:11

MeOldChimp · 30/04/2022 13:08

People seem to be projecting madly on this thread. He’s the brother of an ex from 10 years ago. What’s the problem? Why is he a creep? Honestly, that is just slamming people you’ve never even met on zero evidence, apart from he’s keen, which could mean anything.

Everyone needs to calm down (maybe including the OP).

She said no to him and he is still pursuing her = definite creep.

And IMHO pursuing someone who has shagged your sibling is pretty creepy too.

But not taking no for an answer is a definite.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 30/04/2022 13:56

EthicalNonMahogany · 29/04/2022 19:50

get to know who you are sure...but also fuck the hot brother. I don't think you ever really regret that stuff.

This!

enjoy!

PatientlyWaiting21 · 30/04/2022 13:58

Onwards22 · 29/04/2022 21:28

No you need to be single for a minute.

You say no one actually knows you’re separated so it must still be very fresh.

You say it will cause drama and that’s he’s not taking no for an answer - you shouldn’t even be thinking about this at all.

In the kindest possible way you sound very naive and you need to give your head a bit of a wobble.

The best way to do that is to stay single and work on yourself for a while and then you can date or have sex with whoever you want.

@Onwards22 why does she need to be dingiest? Besides she’s contemplating casual sex, not a relationship.

declutteringmymind · 30/04/2022 14:03

What's forbidden about it exactly?

5128gap · 30/04/2022 15:45

Of course he'll take no for an answer. He's not physically present forcing himself on you. If you want to refuse him, do so and cut contact. If you want to accept, then get on with it. All this dithering and saying no, and then letting yourself be persuaded because he's so persistent gives a very poor message. You're not helpless, the choice is yours to make so make it and own it.

NewandNotImproved · 30/04/2022 17:01

By ‘forbidden fruit’ do you mean penis?

Onwards22 · 30/04/2022 17:31

@PatientlyWaiting21

She she has just got out of a 10 year relationship and is hoping to get back together.

Not only is this guy an ex’s twin but they’ve not spoken in over 10 years and he has asked for sex and she said no but he is still pestering her.
No means no, and any man who keeps pestering you for sex should be avoided.

OP has also said it will cause extreme drama if this happens - why would you want extreme drama, especially when you’re wanting to get back together with your husband.
Shes also avoided the question about him being married so it would make sense that the extreme drama is because his wife might find out.

Most people under these circumstances would be telling this creep to fuck off but he keeps pestering OP so much that she’s starting to think it’s a good idea even though she knows it will lead to bad things - that shows she’s very vulnerable right now.

She can get on tinder and have casual sex as much as she wants. Just don’t do it with someone who is surrounded by massive red flags.