I'm being ghosted aren't I?!

[NovemberRain89]

I have been seeing someone for a few weeks, i really like him. We have known each other for years and definitely had chemistry in the past and have only just acted on it.

We've met up a few times and all has been really good. He's been very complimentary etc and I genuinely feel we have a spark. Anyway I saw him a few nights ago and we went to his house after getting some food, things were good we kissed etc (we didn't sleep together). He asked if I was free again in a couple of days I said yes, he was telling me how attracted he is etc I'm a lovely person blah blah blah. After he dropped me home he said I'll text you and we kissed. Since then there has been no contact. He hasn't text. The day after we met I text him and said 'hello x' which he has ignored, he has been online several times since. I feel horrible, I genuinely thought it was going somewhere but clearly not.

I won't message him again as my pride definitely won't allow it. Why would he do this all of a sudden? I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me etc. :(

I would guess he was hoping the flattery and nice words would have got you into bed. Mr Love Bomber in action and online searching for the next target. In my experience, men are action not words when they are really into you. While it maybe disappointing, you should also see him as a lucky escape. If you slept with him, he may have ghosted and then you would have felt perhaps a little used. This is the nature of OLD and the eternal sweet shop mentality. Some participants in that world seem to have a gift for saying the right words at the right time, in the hope they get what they want...sexual gratification, an ego boost or a quick thrill. You have to be on your guard with people you don't know well, and don't hang your hopes on them until you know them very well. You have to go on your instincts and let your head not heart do the decision making in the early days. By all means do OLD, but keep your guard up.

Is hazard a guess and say he’s talking to someone else.
i could bet he’ll message again at some point. Personally I would ignore it and live my life x

I agree with both of the pp’s. He will be probably trying it on with someone else and, if they don’t show interest, he will text you to see if you want to meet up. Don’t allow him to use and play with you.

Sorry to hear this OP. You mention that you have known him for years. Was that as friends or more like colleagues, loose social group etc? I was just wondering if you will have to have much contact with him in the future?

Sounds like he is looking elsewhere....

As friends, as I'm very close with his sibling we will see each other often. I won't acknowledge him though.

(we didn't sleep together)

☝️

Do you have another thread going on this as well?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4539141-is-this-what-i-think-it-is-or-am-i-over-thinking

He wanted sex but I strongly suspect had you had sex, he’d still have ghosted you unless it was the most mind blowing sex imaginable. He’s probably seeing or chatting to someone else and he’s decided he’s more interested in her or she’s more eager to have sex with him than you were.

I'm glad I made the right decision and didn't sleep with him. Thank god, I'd definitely feel 10x worse.