Is this what I think it is? Or am I over thinking?

[NovemberRain89]

I have been seeing someone for a few weeks, i really like him. We have known each other for years and definitely had chemistry in the past and have only just acted on it.

We've met up a few times and all has been really good. He's been very complimentary etc and I genuinely feel we have a spark. Anyway I saw him a few nights ago and we went to his house after getting some food, things were good we kissed etc (we didn't sleep together). He asked if I was free again in a couple of days I said yes, he was telling me how attracted he is etc I'm a lovely person blah blah blah. After he dropped me home he said I'll text you and we kissed. Since then there has been no contact. He hasn't text. The day after we met I text him and said 'hello x' which he has ignored, he has been online several times since. I feel horrible, I genuinely thought it was going somewhere but clearly not.

I won't message him again as my pride definitely won't allow it. Why would he do this all of a sudden? I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me etc. :(

What I don't understand as well is why he'd even bother asking me to see him again, telling me when we were in the car that he wants more than just sex etc. He didn't need to do all of if he wasn't going to keep up contact? Why bother when I was already on my way home. Feeling very confused and new to the dating game after only having 1 long ish relationship previously.

Hmmm, that does seem strange to me op. Especially seeing as how you knew each other beforehand.
I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt buy I'm so impatient I'm not sure how well I'd do.
I hope he makes contact and has a genuine reason for disappearing!

*but not buy 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Could be deliberate games. Could be extreme flakiness. Whatever it is, he’s not worth your time or your mental energy.

It’s him, not you.

Block him and recast your net. 💐

Perhaps he wasn't as certain as you were, but was making all the right noises to keep things moving. Once he had a bit of time to think about it he's realised it's not for him. He could at least have the decency to message you to explain that, but I don't think it's odd that someone says or does the right things but backs out a bit later.

Echoing this. Ghosting is cruel. I'd mentally write him off. Unless he comes back with a phenomenal excuse - hospitalisation / family death etc.
Please don't blame yourself. There's nothing "wrong" with you. For whatever reason he's not pursuing it but you know very little about him, what else is happening in his life. A decent man would have let you down gently. This guy is a dick. Better to know now before sleeping with him and getting more emotionally involved. Delete his number, forget and move on.

What has his texting been like previously?
How did you respond when he showered you with compliments?
There’s a chance he was only after one thing. But doesn’t seem all that likely is you’ve been friends for years? Is it possible he got the impression you’re not as into him as he is into you?

Also, maybe not that helpful, but I would totally ignore a text saying just “hello x”, I’d find that really effort-less and irritating (sorry), didn’t you have anything to actually say to him to get the conversation going? Maybe ask how he is, for example? It could be that he is ill, or something has happened in his life you are unaware of. Maybe try again and express some interest in him and give him and see how that goes?

sorry- last line should have included * give him something to respond to

He isn't a massive texter but usually would've been back in touch by now. He's been online so is deliberately ignoring my messages.

I don't think he'd think my text was pointless as that's how he has previously text me to initiate a conversation.

He Is a sibling of a close friend of mine, so if anything family related was going on she would have told me (she tells me everything).

Is it possible an X has come back into his life since you last saw him ? Have you spoken to your close friend about their sibling and what happened?

No I haven't mentioned anything yet, I don't want her to moan at him and then he feels he needs to text me etc.

I'm not sure! It's been a few days since we seen each other so I dont think that'd have happened so quick? Unless he's seeing other people (said he isn't).

If you haven't already had sex, is it possible that he was expecting sex when you went back to his place? Some men are 'that way'. They play up to a woman to get her into bed but if she doesn't 'put out' on the man's 'timetable', they drop her.

If it is that then I'm glad he isn't bothering me with pointless texts! As we've known each other for some years I suspect he knows that I'm quite shy and I don't have casual sex.

It does look like it could be that though.

Ah bless him. Now kick him to the kerb quick smart .

I think some men are just lazy or are cowards or a combo of these. They want an easy life and maybe want to keep you on the back burner. Ignore him and find someone who wants to be with you.

Read "Why men love bitches". Changed my life!

I feel like such an idiot. There's still been no text. I don't usually try to get close to people and he knows this. I'm going to try and take him off my mind but it's so so hard

I’m in exactly your position op!! Guy I’ve known for ages; been messaging for a really long time; finally met up : wonderful time; he said all the right things…wanted to meet up again.. 2 weeks later we still haven’t and his texts dropped right off. Why do men do this?

Ugh how frustrating is it? It's horrible, I have no idea what the point is in arranging to see each other again etc especially when I was already leaving if he just wasn't going to text again. He said a lot of unnecessary things that didn't need to be said lol. Not sure if he did them hoping I'd hang on for when he can be bothered to text.

I think he wants you to chase him. Ick. A stupid man playing stupid games.

He has no chance of that lol. Surley me texting first shows I'm interested? Maybe he's worried he came off keener than I I ( I'm not an overly cuddly kissy person). X

I'm avoiding WhatsApp atm so I won't be tempted to check if he's online etc. I think it's completely rude to have no contact whatsoever. I definitely wouldn't pursue any kind of relationship with him now so if he is playing silly games he's shot himself in the foot.

Just thought of another thing (besides the 'no sex as expected' angle). A friend just 'wrote off' a guy who would constantly drop out of sight for a 2-4 weeks at a time and just as she thought he'd ghosted her he'd magically get in touch. If she texted him a generic 'how are you' in the meantime she'd get a terse "Very busy with work, we'll do something 'soon'" and that would be it until he popped up at his own convenience. In this instance he's a 'Very Busy and Important Businessman' and he apparently puts all his businesses AND his own leisure activities first and (apparently) any woman has to fit around those. And he expects her to 'wait patiently' for him to contact her. My friend finally cottoned on after about a year of this and basically ghosted him. Sauce for the goose etc etc.

Frankly at this point, the reason doesn't matter and it's not worth the headspace you're giving it. Write him off, put him out of your mind and move on.