He’s deleted the apps after our first date…

[Pavesi]

Hi all,

I was talking to a guy for a few weeks on Bumble, we really hit it off and seemed to have a lot of alignment in terms of viewpoints, values etc - this was both ways not just him agreeing with me.

We met on Friday and the date went incredibly well, we were together for around 5 or 6 hours and conversation really flowed.

However he was quite intense saying things like he was excited for the first time in a long time (the feeling was mutual but I wasn’t going to volunteer that!) and that he’d be happy to delete the apps and just see where things go with dating me.

Saturday he text to say he’s deleted the apps and whilst it’s very flattering, it does feel like a lot of pressure and expectation.

Now I’m wondering if this is a man that’s openly keen and doesn’t want to mess around (we’re both nudging 40) or if this is a massive red flag. He’s also been single for 2-3 years if that makes a difference at all?

I am a good catch - good job, own home, no kids or difficult ex partners, look good for my age. However I’m not so amazing that a man would feel compelled to focus on just me so early on 😂At least that has never happened before to my knowledge!

Has anyone else experienced this? What do you think?

But you could equally say, suppose you met a man in a bar, had a great first date, arranged a second one, then walked past the bar and he was chatting up some other girl. Would you be less pr more inclined to take the second date seriously? I'd probably not even turn up for it.

His deletion of the apps is a way of saying: I really liked you on first meeting. For now, no one else interests me. Unless he's a real piece of work and just playing power games.

I can't bear the whole thing of seeing (or even chatting to) multiple people when OLD. That means I would definitely delete the apps if I met someone I quite liked. It wouldn't occur to me that someone might feel pressured by that - its not like its some kind of commitment - it only takes a moment to re install them!

Be wary and cautious but don't throw the fish back just yet.
My guy did something really similiar and it freaked me out a bit. Luckily he was so sexy I decided to overlook the early deleting of OLD, and him saying he was only dating me. Followed up by the early "I think I love you"!! 3rd date 🤯😲. I answered with "err...ok....thank you". So awkward 😄🤦‍♀️

I still have him now and hes bloody amazing! (It's been 9 years and a toddler later). He says he just knew. I knew 2 years later when we finally moved in together. He definitely knows his own mind, where as I like to wait and be sure.
He's just spent all day painting our house and hes now snugging the toddler to sleep. Definitely glad I kept him.🥰

This is so lovely!

Looks like most of the early deleters have turned out to be keepers. So nice hearing of so many success stories.

I won’t get ahead of myself, or be too scared off either, I’ll stay open minded and see what happens.

I’m seeing him again on Friday so will keep you all posted!

Looking forward to your update.

I agree! A guy recently did that to me. Deleted his profile. I was like whoa. Turned out. He was love bombing me. Deceived and lied. 4 months later. I see him back on the app. Lying about his age again etc. smh smh. Stay 10 toes down. Don’t believe anything not aligned with action, knowledge and time and consistency.

Any update @Pavesi

Oh wow what a blast from the past! A quick little update - we did date for a short while, however he was very intense so I ended it.

He gave quite controlling vibes and it started with him saying what he wanted to do (delete the apps, see me X times a week, where he’d see us living etc) and he couldn’t understand why I was happy to take it at a slower pace.

I was tempted to go back to the relationship, I have to confess I did miss how he felt for me however I realised it was lovebombing or similar to it so deleted his number and the temptation.

I agree with the comments that say when you know you know, but I do also think it’s wise to exercise caution and clearly there was something setting my senses off.

Thanks for taking me down memory lane, haven’t thought about that man in quite a while!

wowwww. Similar thing happened! This guy tried to control me as well. He loved bombed. Bullied me into a relationship with him after 3 days. He had me go get my ring size at the mall. Then tell me. He lost 30% interest in me.

he tried to tell how to do my hair etc.

he was hiding a 13 yr old child aside from another one. He hid he was divorced. Found out in his county clerk. He was still having sex with his exes that are currently married to other men in the Dominican Republic .

he stopped after we met because he said I brought so much light into his life. He’s 46 and he said he’s confused. He kiss about his age. He said he’s was 37 on the app then 41 on the phone.

I finally found my strength to cut all ties from his spell. He’s texting and calling. He miss taking to me. I see him on the app night and day! He has no one to communicate to him like I use to. Give him motivation. Talk about business, since I have one and 501c3. To talk about getting funds for his business. He’s calling.

i will be blocking soon. I’m hurt. He lied, deceived me. I want to report him to the cops. He offered me pills on our first date.

he’s back on the app and he’s 40yrs old.

umm. Yes. All that fast action. The faster they come in. The faster they leave. Discernment.

I don’t get why some people feel the need to “delete the apps” after a first date! If you like the other person and want to focus on them, then just don’t use the apps!…. And then actually delete them when the dating has turned into a relationship.