DH wants us to live together as friends

[Justateweetabix]

I had a previous thread about my husbands diabetes. Don't know how to link it to this thread.
Basically my husband was not looking after himself, was in bad health mentally and physically but didn't care. I was at the end of my tether.
Things have come to a head in the last few days and we have amicably decided to separate.

I can't afford to move out, I have a teenager daughter also. He owns the house we live in.
He wants us to continue living together as friends. We would still share a bed. He says he still loves me but as a friend, I feel the same way. We haven't had sex for a very long time as he suffers impotence. The affection and intimacy has totally gone and we really are just housemates. We still get along.
He seems to think his suggestion is totally fine and makes sense and I don't really see how I have any choice at this point. He is planning to sell the house and says he will give me a significant amount of money but obviously I can't rely on him actually doing this. I don't even know if I would be entitled to anything if he was to sell.
I just feel stuck and can't get my head around what I should do.

@Justateweetabix you need to go to rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/

You need to read everything in the "Marriage, divorce and finances" section. As PP have said, as married partners, you both own 50% of all assets: house, pension pot, savings, etc.

Read up on your rights, get copies of all financial documents and get to the CAB or a free 30 minutes with a sollicitor. You may also want to look at the Land Registry - someone will be along with the right link - to register as a resident in the property, preventing him from selling it without declaring your interest.

Your house and any other assets and money in the bank belong to both of you as you are married. Talk to that solicitor and get the facts about what will happen when you divorce.

And seriously - why would you want to keep living with him? What possible benefit would there be to you? And living as 'friends' doesn't involve sharing a bed. I suspect he's trying to keep you there as he knows if you divorce you will have to split assets.

Please don't agree to this - it couldn't work, it would be soul-destroying and would stop you habing that great new future that is awaiting you.

OMG. I was on your previous thread. I am a diabetic.

At least you've posted. You might need a 2nd thread in legal? MN'ers are very clued up on legalities of divorce. Even if you say you haven't paid mortgage, in fact you practically have. Not on the deeds though. Glad you are getting advice from solicitor. Sounds like he's trying to pull a fast one!

Get copies of bank, all important documents. Create notes and a spreadsheet to save time in appointment with solicitor. Consider his pension, and provision for DD.

I read your previous thread. You have done your best for your husband in his current situation.
You need to get advice from a solicitor re getting a divorce. You don't know what your are entitled to as yet. Once you get more information you can go to citizens advice to find out about your housing options. If he wants to distroy his own life by refusing to listen to medical advice that's one thing but he can't drag you and your DD with him.

I know a man who was told he had diabetes a few years ago. His friends had encouraged him to lose weight and get fitter to avoid this. He now has a child a few years old.
Meanwhile he has kept up with the bad diet and has put on more weight. His meds keep changing to try help him. He now also has sleep anopia and high blood pressure.
He looks older than his age and does not look well. It only a matter of time before he either get a heart attack or has to give up work due to poor health.

At this stage you have to consider your own life and DD life going forward and that does not include hanging around to mind your husband who refuses to help himself.

his wick doesn't work

Oh my goodness OP, just saw this comment you posted.
You really do need to divorce him! Find a wick that does work and doesn't have diabetes!

Assets become joint once you get married. Were you together for long before marriage? 7 years isn't an overly short marriage.
House, pensions, savings, cars all go into the pot.

Without kids together it might not be a 50:50 split. But you are entitled to a share.

You were married though so you would be entitled to something

Can you up your hours, change jobs? You will need more money in the future. Ideally you wouldn't leave until You had enough money for the deposit and enough money to pay a mortgage on a place rather than rent.

I suspect given the length of time you are married this wont make a difference

You need legal advice

@Justateweetabix hey OP just thought I'd check in and see how you are doing now? Did you manage to make the break and what happened to your ex? Found your thread because my dad has just had a diabetic emergency, he sounds exactly like your (hopefully ex) husband. Not sure how to advise my mum right now as she's in your predicament!