Husband at 55 refuses to book & to go on a family holiday in summer

[Lana07]

Hello All,

Happy Easter!

My friend (and me) are both 42 and sometimes we like to read and discuss some nice wise people's replies to different life situations here on Mumsnet.

My husband is 55, her husband is 52. They've been married for 15 years.

My friend is frustrated with her husband's response and is booking her time for a family holiday abroad (not too far in Europe from the UK whatever offer she finds) with their 12-year-old daughter and her Mum (their daughter's nan) because her husband refuses to book/to go on family holidays this summer. When they went as a family before, they always enjoyed it as we did.

We usually go on a family holiday every year. Before the lockdowns, we could go 2-3 times a year in the UK and usually once abroad. This year we are going to Turkey or Greece or anywhere for a good reasonable price in July or August. We plan to book it by the end of April/May maximum. My husband is always keen to go as much as I do. We are always looking forward to it. We've been married for 17 years.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is it an age thing (my husband is 3 years older and he never refuses but I understand everyone is different) or what do you think?

Her husband's excuse is just: 'I just don't want to go. You go if you want.' So she will go with her Mum and her 12 daughter. Maybe one day we'll go on a girls' holiday with my friend and our children too. We've never been.

Thank you.

Your post is odd, I can’t work out what you and your husband have to do with it, nothing as far as I can tell. You are questioning why your friend’s husband doesn’t want to go on holiday? Because some people don’t like going on holiday or don’t like particular holidays. Suggest your friend talks to her husband.

This reminds me of the post where OP and friend both had 50something husbands, the women were in their 40s and one husband had gone off sex. OP wanted to sound out which was normal for a man of that age. Sorry I can't work out the search function now to find out, but you write in the same rather confusing style! If you are that poster, that could be his reason.

My friend and I when we were dating were looking for husbands who like/love holidays like us.

Is that really a criteria for people when "looking for husband"? And for both you and your friend?

Are you going on holiday with your friend's family as well or do you go on holiday separately - I'm not 100% clear on that?

Always taking your MIL would be a huge no for most people. If she's come every time, he's a saint.

I understand. Dh was not interested in going before. I was upset by this. We went to Majorca at Easter, he booked it.
I think most of the reasons posted by pp's just don't apply:
Eg can not remember :

Doesn't want to pay school holiday prices
Doesn't want to go anywhere hot
Can't be bothered with the faff - travelling, packing etc.
Doesn't want to go away with his MIL
Doesn't want to do (be dragged round on?) day trips etc. that would interest you, his DD and MIL.

I think all those reasons are bullshit.

🤣🤣

Op has not clarified if the mil comes on all holidays. I think this is important.

This is an intriguing thread. I can understand why the friend is upset that her husband doesn't want to go on holiday with her and their daughter. Am I correct in thinking her MIL is only going with them because her husband isn't going?

I'm interested to hear if this was ever resolved.