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Please can I have a friendly push/ handhold to end something that's gone a bit weird

1 reply

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 17/04/2022 12:32

I met a man online about 2 months ago.

After a few great weeks, I started receiving lots of not-very-nice comments from him.

I've ended it twice but we have a lot of chemistry and I've felt a bit low after years of OLD so have given it a try again both times.

We ended things last time, met up last week and now are back together but I won't see him as he has a very important deadline in 2 weeks or so that he is in a big rush for.

All I feel is stress, panic and unsettlement since we got back together. He didn't really take responsibility for any of the stuff he had said, actually denying some of it outright and claiming other parts were joking and that I was being overly defensive. I wasn't. Not fully anyway, looking at the whole picture of what he had said. He instead would single out each comment and explain or deny it or say he was joking.

It wasn't 'you are worthless, ugly pondlife', but it was a constant onslaught of smaller comments about all sorts of parts of my personality, culture, looks, dress, interests, intellect.

He also rewrote history somewhat about when we first met, claiming to have been a lot less keen than he said he was at the time (I have messages from the time saying he couldn't wait to see me again etc so he either lied then or when saying otherwise). He denied having said the later comments.

There were some other weird little lies about things I never said, too.

I also think he has a crush on a friend (I don't believe anything will happen, she has a family, but I know what I saw and he looked quite enamoured).

I don't know why I have put up with this. Well, I do, I have given him the benefit of the doubt.

I now want to end it but this morning he was all anxious about his deadline and I feel horribly stressed but guilty about doing this now. Would it be ok to just call now and get it over with rather than wait? I have been having panic attacks as I am basically in some sort of relationship I don't want to be in. I don't even think he does.

PhilipMumsnet · 17/04/2022 13:14

Hello everyone,
Thanks for the responses to this. The OP has asked us to delete it and we have agreed to take it down.
Best wishes,
MNHQ

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