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Original poster

He’s cancelled date twice in a row

38 replies

Jolene93 · 15/04/2022 20:40

The general.. matched on tinder, swapped numbers etc. Been chatting about a month

We’d planned to go for a coffee last weekend but then he said he was unable to go as he had to go pick up his nephews, I understood and we rearranged to next Wednesday

He text me earlier today again cancelling
I just said to him it was best he made plans from now on
He didn’t reply to that, just said “we can still talk in the meantime”

???
I’m thinking he has absolutely no plans of committing to a date from this response

Thoughts please

OP posts:
CrumpetStrumpet · 15/04/2022 20:41

Block him. He's a time waster. Let him go waste someone else's.

SarahDippity · 15/04/2022 20:42

I’d say ‘I think the moment has passed. Best of luck.’ And delete.

Fireflygal · 15/04/2022 20:45

He just wants to chat or maybe nephews are his children.

He is flaky, don't give him another chance. The fact he assumes he can just decide to continue talking...as of you don't have an option. Block him and move on

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 15/04/2022 20:45

Not sure he's that bothered about meeting in real life. No idea what reason. He prob wants someone for chit chat and online company though like he says. Don't waste your time. It takes a surprising amount of energy, keeping conversations going with strangers.

I'd let him know that you're leaving things here as you're looking to meet someone for a real life relationship rather than chat. If you've liked him so far, you could alternatively tell him to get in touch when he's available to meet in person.

GeoffLynton · 15/04/2022 20:46

Yep, he wants an internet girlfriend.

TwilightSkies · 15/04/2022 20:47

Don’t give him the opportunity to cancel again.

Rainbowqueeen · 15/04/2022 20:48

Delete and block. He sounds married and looking for an ego boost. Even if it’s not, you are looking for different things

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/04/2022 20:50

“Nephews”

Hmmm … children, maybe?

2Rebecca · 15/04/2022 20:56

You aren't his priority. Once is an emergency twice is flakyness/ not that in to you

Original poster
Jolene93 · 15/04/2022 20:59

He’s just text and said it was because of a work meeting that fell on his day off but now he’s sent an email trying to rearrange the meeting so he can meet me

I just told him he’s really confusing me 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

OP posts:
Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/04/2022 21:17

Fool me once …..
I’d delete and move on personally

IncompleteSenten · 15/04/2022 21:21

I think he's either exploring other options or he's attached and hasn't been able to get away.

IncompleteSenten · 15/04/2022 21:23

Don't indulge him in explicit talk or intimate photos
I'm sure you wouldn't anyway but some men aren't interesting in meeting, just wanting a quick thrill.

Honeyroar · 15/04/2022 21:24

It’s not good enough, is it?

Livelovebehappy · 15/04/2022 21:24

Maybe you're just one of a few options he has on the go, and he's prioritising another 'date' atm. If that one doesn't work out he will arrange something with you? Or maybe you're over analysing as quite often men on dating sites do this flakey stuff, so makes women paranoid and sceptical. It's difficult. If he's trying to arrange a date now, maybe see what happens and if cancelled again, I would block him and move on.

BanjoKnockers · 15/04/2022 21:26

Fake photos? Ten years older and four stone heavier?

crackingreward · 15/04/2022 21:28

I just told him he’s really confusing me 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

You are basically putting yourself in the position where he is controlling everything and you are sitting back not know what's happening. It's one thing tolerating that but to actively tell him Sad

This isn't going anywhere. Tell him that.

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 15/04/2022 21:30

No thanks

gingerhills · 15/04/2022 21:41

I agree with PP that it's fair to text him and say 'the moment has passed.'

It's very unlikely a worthwhile relationship begins with someone cancelling on you twice. Something isn't right there.

Original poster
Jolene93 · 15/04/2022 21:46

I wrote back and basically said that I didn’t think it was going to work now as he cancelled twice and showed no enthusiasm to rearrange, that yes we had had some lovely conversations but it was clear it wasn’t going to move past that into carrying it on in person, and I wished him all the best!

OP posts:
MimosaFields · 15/04/2022 21:48

@Jolene93

I wrote back and basically said that I didn’t think it was going to work now as he cancelled twice and showed no enthusiasm to rearrange, that yes we had had some lovely conversations but it was clear it wasn’t going to move past that into carrying it on in person, and I wished him all the best!
You are too nice. I would have blocked him with no further explanation
BornIn78 · 15/04/2022 21:49

He's set the tone hasn't he.

He messes you about - twice - and instead of telling him to do one, you tell him "you're really confusing me, crying laughing emoji".

This is going nowhere good, you've shown him your bar is fairly low before you've actually even met up.

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 15/04/2022 22:15

Fair play to you OP. You deserve someone enthusiastic and engaged in at least meeting and seeing how things go

Viviennemary · 15/04/2022 22:17

I bet hes married or in a relationship.

Pinkbonbon · 15/04/2022 22:25

No way would I have gave it q month without meeting them. If you haven't met them within 2 weeks (utter max) of talking then they are time wasters who just want a pen pal for an ego stroke.

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