He’s cancelled date twice in a row

[Jolene93]

The general.. matched on tinder, swapped numbers etc. Been chatting about a month

We’d planned to go for a coffee last weekend but then he said he was unable to go as he had to go pick up his nephews, I understood and we rearranged to next Wednesday

He text me earlier today again cancelling
I just said to him it was best he made plans from now on
He didn’t reply to that, just said “we can still talk in the meantime”

???
I’m thinking he has absolutely no plans of committing to a date from this response

Thoughts please

Agree with consensus. I’d chuck him back in the swamp (although I don’t think you will if he comes back begging after your reply). Messaging creates a very false sense of intimacy - it gives you a dopamine rush and it’s addictive. That’s why men like pen pals.

@Pinkbonbon

No way would I have gave it q month without meeting them. If you haven't met them within 2 weeks (utter max) of talking then they are time wasters who just want a pen pal for an ego stroke.

So much this! Facetime or Skype within a couple of days. Meetup within 2 weeks Max. If they can't meet this bare minimum, delete and block.

Good grief, why did you even bother with an explanation? Stop being "nice." This fucking idiot is either just an idiot or he's married. Either way he's done nothing but waste your time.

Your username is pertinent. Married. Block. Good luck

When I did OLD years ago I put some rules in place for myself because of behaviour like this. I did a bit of chat (not exclusively with one guy) and then suggested meeting up for a coffee to rule them in or out fairly early in proceedings. This was after talking intensely to a guy for a few weeks, becoming quite invested, only to find out he was only looking for some chat when his wife worked nights Arsehole. So any sign of delaying meeting up I blocked and moved on. Good Luck OP.

PS I should say I did meet my husband OLD. He said he realised very quickly I was taking no prisoners and upped his game quickly for fear of being binned off. We still laugh about that

I agree with previous posters, he's exploring other options. Never be someone's plan B

@Jolene93

I wrote back and basically said that I didn’t think it was going to work now as he cancelled twice and showed no enthusiasm to rearrange, that yes we had had some lovely conversations but it was clear it wasn’t going to move past that into carrying it on in person, and I wished him all the best!

Good for you!

Absolute tyre kicker.
Block and delete.

Thanks everyone for your responses.. pretty much just confirmed what I was thinking! 💐

Flaky! First time cancelling could be genuine so I’d let that slide, never a second time, he has no intentions but to waste your time and have someone to chat too.

Yeah I ended the conversation yesterday and won’t be responding further, well and truly got the ick 😂😂

If you block then it's done with. I suspect you're too nice and he'll email you a sob story about how much he really liked you...

This. Or worst, he’s marrried. He just wants someone to give him screen time attention but has no plans of meeting. That’s why doing OLD I never talk with a guy for a month, that’s madness. For me Its a few text messages first, a short video chat a week later and a meeting IRL shortly after. I don’t entertain any other form of communication. If he cannot commit to that I’m not interested.