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Original poster

Not Knowing You Was In An Open relationship!!

54 replies

Wintertime1973 · 14/04/2022 09:01

Hi All,

Been with my partner of 15 months due to circumstances we see each other once a week, whilst we had not had the conversation I presumed we where exclusive to each other, we loved each other, great intimacy and a great connection.
Fast forward to now I find out I have a STD ( very painful ) and I have not slept around.
Turns out he's been having sex with more than one other women ( three of us all together) and all this as been unprotected!
Informed me that he wants an open relationship and doesn't know why he didn't tell me, sounds like the other women are FWB.
For Christ sake he's over 75!!!

Why does it feel so hurtful and what do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wintertime1973 · 14/04/2022 16:02

I think apart from the obvious of the whole 15 months being a lie, he simply is not apologetic at all.

Apparently he's going to write a letter ( maybe an age thing ) but surely you would do that asap not keep telling me you are going to do it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Wintertime1973 · 14/04/2022 16:09

I am 48 one is 58 & 70.....

I have seen his birth cert so his age is true of course he looks older but his stamina is wow.

I have no idea but could he of been taking something to give him the stamina?

OP posts:
StarbucksQueen · 14/04/2022 16:29

I met someone online in their late 60s. He was a widow, but for many years they were part of the swinging scene, and throughout his life had never used a condom. He did say he had had gonorrhoea twice when he was much younger - before he got married - and it was like it was something to be proud if?!....There would be no amount of 'letter writing' that would make me want to continue a relationship with this man

girlmom21 · 14/04/2022 16:35

I'm absolutely not surprised he's sleeping around if you're almost 30 years younger than him.

I can't imagine what circumstances would mean you can only see each other once a week in a monogamous relationship at his age.

MachineBee · 14/04/2022 16:36

I’m sorry this has happened to you but please don’t try to be nice to him. He doesn’t deserve a second more of your kindness. Make sure the next person you spend time with is a proper man who will respect you and care about you. They are out there but sometimes take a bit of finding. You have to kiss a lot of frogs… Grin

IncompleteSenten · 14/04/2022 16:42

An open relationship you don't know you're in is called cheating on you

Having unprotected sex is ridiculous of you and I hope you've learned from this.

As to what to do, well, this is just me but I'd end the relationship!

CrowAndArrow · 14/04/2022 16:46

Don't know if I should laugh or cry at this.

He's cheated on you OP. You are young, and he's not. Move on.

TheVanguardSix · 14/04/2022 16:53

OP, you're 48! Don't waste your time. He's got one grisly ball in the grave.

DarkFuckeryoftheHumanHeart · 14/04/2022 16:57

@TheVanguardSix

OP, you're 48! Don't waste your time. He's got one grisly ball in the grave.
That has made me properly weep Grin
Lookingoutside · 14/04/2022 17:22

You’re not in an open relationship if it wasn’t discussed.

He cheated on you and he will never keep
his trousers on. Throw him back.

howthebellstoll · 14/04/2022 17:30

@TheVanguardSix

OP, you're 48! Don't waste your time. He's got one grisly ball in the grave.
😂😂😂
EmmaH2022 · 14/04/2022 17:55

@TheVanguardSix

OP, you're 48! Don't waste your time. He's got one grisly ball in the grave.
I dunno Springsteen and Gere are 72 and still gorgeous

Is he gorgeous OP?

Anyway, use protection!

I'd be more worried about the "nurse with a purse" scenario with the age gap.

Ohmnomnom · 14/04/2022 18:03

You were not in an open relationship without knowing. Your geriatric shagger of a boyfriend cheated on you and instead of showing remorse he has doubled down and tried to gaslight you into an alternative reality. I bet he votes Tory.

NewandNotImproved · 14/04/2022 18:14

Minging all round, really. Dump the filthy man, why agonise over his choices? Cock is abundant and of low value.

EmmaH2022 · 14/04/2022 18:24

New "Cock is abundant and of low value."

Love this! It should be on a T shirt! 😂

noirchatsdeux · 14/04/2022 18:29

Yuck.

When I was 48 my father was 69. The idea of having sex with a man older than my father makes my vagina seal up.

Aim for better (and younger) next time.

YukoandHiro · 14/04/2022 18:33

@trackerby "the mind is boggling"

Why? Because he's older? He's still a person. People don't stop being sexual - or indeed absolute ratbags - just because they are ageing

NorthGirlie · 14/04/2022 19:24

Trichomonas vaginalis

78 years old! Wow!!

Inthesameboatatmo · 14/04/2022 19:25

@TheVanguardSix

OP, you're 48! Don't waste your time. He's got one grisly ball in the grave.

Comment of the day Grin

theonlygirl · 14/04/2022 19:45

What should you do??? Kick him in his over used bollocks, cheeky fucker. sleeping with others, not telling you AND not using protection...unacceptable at any age. Treat yourself to something nice OP, keep your head up and move on. Don't talk to him ever again. Flowers

trackerby · 14/04/2022 19:48

YukoandHiro DH and I are both in our seventies, no need to tell me we're still people. Not sure DH would be up to having 4 women on the go however, so my mind is happily boggling away.

MermaidEyes · 14/04/2022 21:13

@TheVanguardSix

OP, you're 48! Don't waste your time. He's got one grisly ball in the grave.

🤣🤣

Op I'm the same age as you and I couldn't imagine wanting to sleep with a 75 year old unless he's an absolute sexy motherfucker. Leave him for the other poor sods and find someone younger and less diseased - and use a condom!

knowinglesseveryday · 14/04/2022 22:46

Seems very unusual

Original poster
Wintertime1973 · 14/04/2022 22:50

Believe me he does not look 78, nor act it and his sexual stamina without viagra is amazing but he's just been awful towards me...

So thank you for all of your comments but this is not made up!

OP posts:
Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 14/04/2022 22:54

Why were you having unprotected sex with someone without clarifying you were exclusive? Did you have an std check before having sex with him without a condom?