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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband has left for another woman

53 replies

Sam20221 · 13/04/2022 22:56

4 weeks ago my husband was unusually quiet, i questioned him and he told me he was unhappy in our marriage, had been for a few months and he was leaving. He didn’t want to work on the marriage, said the spark had gone and that he didn’t love me anymore. His mum passed away 2 weeks earlier and he said it made him realise life was too short to be unhappy!
A week later I found out that he had started talking to his sisters friend on Facebook 5 weeks earlier (at the time of his mums death), he told a friend he had felt ‘passion’ for the first time in years and despite not actually seeing her in person decided leaving our 10 year marriage to persue a long distance relationship with her made him happier than he’d felt in a long time.
He had never told me he was unhappy, he had been booking family holidays with me for later this year, decorating our house and ordering new furniture just weeks before he left - surely he wasn’t that happy to be doing all that!?
Since then he has been absolutely vile. He’s been telling me he can’t have our daughter on agreed dates because he’s “busy”. He won’t help with the sale of the house, the sale of the car and says other people manage to sort their lives out on their own so why can’t I!? He’s been meeting up with this new girl so refusing to have our daughter so that I can try and sort out the house viewings, car sale etc. I’ve been left to deal with literally everything with absolutely no empathy or compassion.
I just wondered if anybody else had gone through this and what the outcome was?

OP posts:
bubblesbubbles11 · 14/04/2022 15:29

"Why is leaving children ok for men to do but not women?"

Its not ok for either sex to do.

However that fact is not enough to justify a race between soon to be ex spouses to get out of the front door first.

The reality is, if your spouse walks out, that only makes your responsibilities to your child more, not less.

Sam20221 · 14/04/2022 20:20

He’s 36 x

OP posts:
AllOfUsAreDead · 14/04/2022 20:31

Don't sell anything. If he wants it sold, he can do it. As he says, other people manage why can't he? Or is he actually too thick?

Just stop doing everything for him and start claiming child maintenance from him.

Go round to where he is staying randomly too, especially at weekends, knock on the door and hand him his child and walk off, shouting you'll pick her up from childcare on Monday or whatever your usual plans on Monday are. Leave him to actually parent his child, he's capable.

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