DP looking at younger woman

[grossedout133]

I know that men look at women etc that's fine - it's human nature to look at attractive people.

My DP (45years) doesn't usually look at other women, but that's because he has a clear thing for a particular type of woman who we don't come across very often.

A few times over the years, he has taken a double glance at young women in their very early 20s. Usually very tall, blonde, and very young looking - barely out of their teens. Total opposite to me.

Again this doesn't happen very often, but last week, he saw a woman working in a cafe, and he stopped and looked up instinctively to check her out. Then when we were leaving, he spun his body around,, stood infront of me, staring over my head, and stared at her for around 5-8 seconds. It was long enough.

To be fair, she was very pretty, but very very young looking. Just too young. Maybe barely out of sixth form or first year of uni.

I'm sure she noticed, and felt completely icked out by him. I know, because as a 21 year old, I had much older men glaring at me. And I still do. It's so grim, especially when the man is with his partner. It makes me sick to my stomach. By the way, I'm not insecure of self conscious. I am happy with who I am and how I look.

The other week, I had an extremely good looking and younger man stop and check me out in this way - head spinning around to look at me, infront of my DP. He didn't like it one bit. But he didn't say anything. And I haven't said anything about him checking out this young women barely out of school/their teens.

I am so grossed out by his behaviour and struggling to think how I can stay with him. He wouldn't cheat, I don't think, but he clearly has a thing for much younger women, and I would be mortified to have babies with him, in case he behaves this way in front of our children, as he can't even control himself around me.

Not sure why I am posting. I can't speak to anyone about this IRL. It's so awful. I've never had a man behave like this in front of me.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

Tell him he's a laughing stock. If that doesn't work, go for the kill and focus on some aspect of his (lack of) sexual prowess

I'm not sure why this suggestion, or some variation of it, comes up on her time after time as some sort of surefire way to emasculate and humiliate men. The vast majority of them will immediately recognise it in context, i.e. a pointless ad hominem attack launched out of desperation and for lack of anything of substance, and laugh it off.

Seriously, don't bother. You just make yourself look like a simpleton who can't formulate a cogent argument.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX is right OP, please don't do that, for the reasons given and because he'll use it to make you the "villain" if you do! Men who stare openly or leer at women, are either imagining them naked or even imagining having sex with them. I don't think any women would really want to know the details, especially a young woman or girl, as it would be sickening, even frightening in some cases. When it's done by a much older man to a much younger woman, or worse, just a girl, like the one you describe, it's horrible for the woman or girl. It sort of feels like a form of assault and it is! It's a sort of mental sexual assault. Ultimately it's up to you what you do but personally, I feel it's pointless to do anything else but dump him! I'm sorry!

@2Gen

I agree with what you say however I didn’t see xdownwiththatsirtofthingx say anything about how he would turn it around and make her into the villain ( which I agree he would )
What I read from downwiths post is that pointing out the obvious , that anything was lacking in such a man was because one couldn’t form an argument
In fact I think it is often very true that the reason not to call him out is because he will twist it
NOT because ( as down with says ‘ it’s a sure fire way to humiliate or emasculate a man ‘ and ‘makes a woman look like she can’t form an argument ‘

To me the argument put forward by Downwith sounds a lot like something a man might say to stop women objecting or bringing up truths about men like this . Rather than an attempt to stop the man twisting the argument
I may br wrong , downwith may in fact belief that many men who behave this way are in fact sexually inept but that raising that point is pointless because this type of man will twist it ….

But I do think you @2gen and @XDownwiththissortofthingX made two completely different arguments as to why she should avoid this approach