* UPDATE * My bf wants nothing to do with unborn baby/pregnancy

[Sofi1990]

Hi guys

I’ve got an update on this situation. Things have gotten weirder. I’m actually shocked to be writing this. I need to say this so I know I’m not going completely mad.

I have decided to keep the baby. My bf wanted me to get rid and was so shocked when I told him, I’m keeping it with or without him. And quite frankly I’m happy to do it on my own so he can happily walk away, just like he wanted to. I said I would have liked him to be part of the baby’s life but it’s his decision to not be a part of his baby’s life so I’ve accept his decision and it’s over.

WELL, he came crawling back a few days later with this suggestion. I’m still fuming and completely in shock as to his thought process behind this/ or maybe he thinks I’m a complete idiot!

He basically said he wants us to stay together as a couple, go on dates, share a bed together, have sexual relations/sex with each other and act like a normal couple until the baby comes so HE can make a DECISION on what he wants to do - if he wants to still stay together and raise a baby together. Or if he doesn’t want that and leave when the baby is born.

WHAT?! My blood is boiling (probably not good when I’m pregnant) argh.

Don't engage with him. Don't tell him when the baby is born or add him to the birth certificate. If he decides to grow up he can contact you via letter/email at a later date.

Do you live together?

He’s not good enough for you.

He’s done you a massive favour by showing you his true colours before the baby comes. Get him in the bin and start planning your life without him.

He sounds like a twat.

I am very pleased you decided to keep your baby and wish you all the best.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

"That doesn't work for me. I'll let you know when the baby has been born, please respect my wish to focus on myself and the baby health in the meantime as there's nothing to discuss until then."

And mean it.

Absolutely this. And as other posters have said he's not good enough. Not good enough for you as a partner, as a father to your unborn child, as part of your family.

You have rationally made your decision practically and emotionally. He has thought about the baby and you from his own selfish perspective only.

Make sure you don't put him on the birth certificate and give your baby your last name. This will save you years of hell, give you the control of yours and your baby's life and it can be reversed if by whatever miracle he steps up.

I really admire your strength and courage to do what's right for your family.

Wow, this dude has got to have a personality disorder of some type.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I’m sure you’ll do amazing!
Single motherhood isn’t as bad as it’s reported. Can focus 💯 on your child, when your child is sleeping/nursery you only have to think of yourself. Holiday where and when you want. Bring your child up how you want. Honestly I can see why people plan it that way from the start.
You got lucky he’s shown his true colours this early, won’t have to give your baby his surname, or even put him on birth certificate if you don’t want.
Though do remember, the fact he’s said he wants nothing to do with the baby, he’s legally required to provide financial support for the baby.

I'm very happy that you've made the decision that was right for you. Congratulations

Omg, what a proposal! 😅
Is he serious?
Some people really overestimate their market value dont they.

OP Congratulations on your pregnancy. Im sorry your boyfriend turned out to be such a dick

So glad to hear you've arrived at this decision. Whether your boyfriend likes it or not, he will be a father. It's just his choice to decide whether or not he's going to be a dad.

I really, really hope you tell him there's no chance you'd agree to such an arrangement. He already made his decision when he forced you into an ultimatum. There's no going back from that, as he's clearly shown you who he really is. I think you should focus on enjoying your pregnancy (and your baby) and on building a life without him. If at some point he decides he wants to be involved, then you can work out what's best then.

Get over him now while you're pregnant so that when baby arrives you can fully enjoy it without his sh1t. My one regret with my first was not being fully over the break up. The first year is tough but so special and if I could do it again I would have split as soon as she was conceived and properly enjoyed the whole experience. Good luck! Be grateful you know what he is like sooner rather than later.

I’d be more worried he’d buy an abortion drug online and administer it without your knowledge. You can buy literally anything online now.

A dr got a prison sentence a few years ago for doing it to his mistress.

I hope you laughed in his face when he presented you with his wonderful suggestion. He must have such a high opinion of himself to possibly think you might be interested in humouring his indecisiveness like that.

That is so selfish.

Has he no responsibility or empathy?

I didn't read your first thread, but it might be time to start trying to find the funny side - it's so completely ridiculous that the only answer is to laugh out loud. Find a friend to giggle with (or post on MN) about his most outrageous comments. Decide you're allowed a treat whenever he suggests that plenty of sex would help him make the decision to stay with you and the baby. Practice sarcastic responses.

DH and I have recently taken to using some of BIL's most ridiculous comments to each other. The DC find it very confusing as I say something silly, in a "tone" and then DH and I fall about laughing.

Wishing you lots of strength OP, to get this utter twat out of your life, so as another position suggested, you can be free of him asap, so you can enjoy your precious baby when s/he arrives!

@Sofi1990 Hi OP, how are you doing?

i wouldn’t even respond to him OP. You and your baby deserve way better than that loser. As hurtful as his actions have been, I think long term it will be to your benefit because it shows you how selfish a person he is. Now you’re pregnant your decision making has changed to prioritise your unborn baby. His thought process is all about him. Honestly, it’s infuriating dealing with a man child who can’t put their child first.
Allow yourself some time to be angry, hurt whatever you need to feel. But also look forward to holding that little baby in your arms.
Congratulations on the pregnancy OP. There are good things in your future. Leave the man baby in the past.

Whoops old thread