Attached man paying me lots of attention

[LemonDrop22]

An attached man doing some work for me is paying me a lot of attention.

He says his relationship (a long with 2 kids, a teen and almost teen) is rocky but he won't leave because his partner has had a very significant health issue and he won;t go in case it were eve to recur ... and also because his kids have been devastated any time they've looked like they were going to split.

He claims his partner has told him to find someone else and move on.

But he won't because of the above.

When I suggested if his behaviour (attention to me, flirtation etc) is not normal for me, then maybe it means his relationship is truly screwed and he should leave and coparent his kids to the best of his abilty ... he became quite indignant, upset and said he felt his loyalty was being questioned and it was unfair.

What on earth ...?

Hmm. A married man flirting/pursuing you and telling you his marriage is dead, regaling you with all his wife’s flaws, telling you he’s loyal and staying because she’s ill (oh, be still my beating heart....the self-sacrifice.... the nobility of this incredible husband....) what could he possibly want, OP? What could it possibly all mean?
Wake up! Cheating men don’t want you to think they’re just a common or garden cheat who wants his marriage and sex on the side with you. They need to paint themselves as the trapped noble hero, victim of circumstance but you’re so gorgeous and irresistible that he’s now hit an awful dilemma....why? Because it’s not very attractive to just be a married man who wants a side shag as well, and most sensible women would run a mile faced with truth like that.
It’s bollocks, OP, a tale as old as time. You have two choices: 1) run a mile or 2) shag a lying married man.

He just wants to add you to his list of “on the job” conquests.

He’ll probably tell his friends he’s “had” you even if he hasn’t.

OP, are you posting with a question or just to have a bit of a FFS! About another faithless man?

Honestly I think this sounds like it’s a novel experience for you and yoire over thinking it as you’re so utterly flattered. I mean this politely but I doubt he’s thinking you’re his fantasy woman and he’s disillusioned in his relationship. He jist thinks you’re up for a shag as he can see you’re flattered and falling for his chat.

I’m sorry to be course, but really life isn’t some mills and boons story, he’s not crushing and thinking you’re his fantasy, he thinks if he says the right thing you will be up for a quick shag.

Grim OP. Don't reply to anything not work related.

@Thestagshead

Honestly I think this sounds like it’s a novel experience for you and yoire over thinking it as you’re so utterly flattered. I mean this politely but I doubt he’s thinking you’re his fantasy woman and he’s disillusioned in his relationship. He jist thinks you’re up for a shag as he can see you’re flattered and falling for his chat.

I’m sorry to be course, but really life isn’t some mills and boons story, he’s not crushing and thinking you’re his fantasy, he thinks if he says the right thing you will be up for a quick shag.

It's not a novel experience and I'm not particularly flattered.

I think he's crushing/in fantasy land and it's not on me or about me really.

I'm not listing what he's saying but most of it is very ..... on a pedestal type stuff

I’m sorry to be course, but really life isn’t some mills and boons story

I think most of us hsve Bern well aware of that since our teenage years

@GreyCarpet

OP, are you posting with a question or just to have a bit of a FFS! About another faithless man?

The latter, but also to get perspectives on this .. my conclusion is that i need to be a lot more hard nosed.

@Thewookiemustgo

Hmm. A married man flirting/pursuing you and telling you his marriage is dead, regaling you with all his wife’s flaws, telling you he’s loyal and staying because she’s ill (oh, be still my beating heart....the self-sacrifice.... the nobility of this incredible husband....) what could he possibly want, OP? What could it possibly all mean? Wake up! Cheating men don’t want you to think they’re just a common or garden cheat who wants his marriage and sex on the side with you. They need to paint themselves as the trapped noble hero, victim of circumstance but you’re so gorgeous and irresistible that he’s now hit an awful dilemma....why? Because it’s not very attractive to just be a married man who wants a side shag as well, and most sensible women would run a mile faced with truth like that. It’s bollocks, OP, a tale as old as time. You have two choices: 1) run a mile or 2) shag a lying married man.

Lol.

I think this should be taught to girls in school.

You have two choices: 1) run a mile or 2) shag a lying married man.

Which will you choose OP? Do come back and let us know.

She has come back, just under a different name

Oh dear op I can see why you name changed for this,

😂

Ah the old nc fail

@Thestagshead

Oh dear op I can see why you name changed for this,

😂

Oh dear OP 😬

Ffs he is a player!

Run.

Do you post here about all the "par for the course" conversations you have with people, OP? Come on, wake up. He sounds like a tedious cliched sleazebag, find your boundaries.

Show the messages to your SO and see what he makes of it.