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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Has anyone else gone through this?

52 replies

Lightattheendofthetunnel22 · 11/04/2022 22:20

Me and my partner have been together 3 years. He has 2 kids, both late teens. I have none. We have spoken sporadically over the years that I might want kids and he always said he didn’t but we just were so happy otherwise we brushed it under the carpet. I’m 36 now so I’ve been thinking for the last few months that I can’t keep burying my head and I need to decide what I want. We were also talking about buying a house so I thought it would be best to have this conversation beforehand. So I told him I would settle for only having the one but that I would like the chance to be a mum (if possible). He told me he just won’t consider it. So now the only option is to split up, but we both still love each other, don’t want to split up, and anytime we broach splitting up we both get so upset & it doesn’t happen. Has anyone found themselves in this situation and what was the outcome? I worry I might not meet anyone else anyway but I know I will resent him if we stay together.

OP posts:
Musttryharder2021 · 13/04/2022 14:33

@HazelBite

I have a son going through something similar, he is 39 his partner 42 and has said she doesn't want DC's, (naturally or otherwise) he is desperate to be a Dad but absolutely adores her she is a really good match for him. He like the OP is struggling to make a decision.
@HazelBite

The woman is likely to be facing infertility if not already or hitting perimenopause or menopause....the chance of naturally conceiving are low as the quality of eggs is determined by maternal age, and are likely to be of low quality... as well as when using ART (assisted reproductive technology). See NHS website for IVF stats for 42 year olds. Extremely low. Of course it's possible to conceive but so is anything, it's more to do with likelihoods.

Xfan · 13/04/2022 14:35

[quote Lightattheendofthetunnel22]@HazelBite oh & it’s also reassuring to hear there are men in their late 30s out there still wanting kids! So thank you x[/quote]
Oh yes they are like gold dust, real unicorns....or there's something wrong with them which is why they haven't been snapped up already...yes a few here and there fall through the net but for most there's a reason they're still single and childless

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