Requesting a run at weekends

[MegMogandOg]

I have two kids with SEN and parent alone all week because of my husbands long commute. For context one child is only at nursery for two hours in the morning and home with me the rest of the time . At weekends I ask to go for a run probably on one occasion and this rarely happens as I am usually unable to because of kids needs ans behaviours. My husband and I are on the brink of divorce and he told me this is one of this things he can’t stands he wants :

To not sleep alone ( he snores and I am constantly disturbed by kids and sleep deprived for 7 years also often upset by him so don’t want him next to me)

He showers in a cubicle ( the bathroom he uses is a shower room in which cubicles are commonplace) . I have never seen old him he can’t shower and elsewhere.

He thinks we should be together all the time when he is off work. My kids have high and complex needs and I need a breather at weekends and I also quite frankly need one from him too- is not this not normal.

Of course he has issues with many other things but I find it so unreasonable that he resents me having a run?

There is no point in trying to work out the pattern, just know that it isn't working anymore. You don't love him (now) but you are still in love with the man you thought he was. Since past and present are not in sync it it mentally and emotionally draining you. Concentrate on what you can control which is how you are going to react (or not) to him. It sounds like you are at the end of your relationship, sorry.

It sounds really toxic and exhausting. Could you possibly organise a respite weekend for the kids and get away for a night to discuss things in a neutral place away from the kids?

Assuming they go to special needs school. May you be able to pay for a couple of school staff to come and look after them for the weekend for example? I know this is hard to organise but it sounds like you really need to be able to get away for a short while and discuss options.

You sound like you’re hugely resentful and that the marriage is very unhappy so it’s doesn’t sound like continuing as it is is possible.

From an outsiders perspective it doesn’t sound like it’s just your husband being unreasonable, it’s a mix of things including that you actually really can’t tolerate him and that you’re under a lot of stress.

I hope you find a solution.

Agree with him its not working and yes you should divorce

You don't like him and you don't want to be with him. It's very apparent from your posts. What would you like him to change / do in order to be able to stay in a relationship with him?