Need urgent advice and want to hear your opinions

[cakedelights]

I am new on here so please bare with me

I have been struggling with a difficult and delicate situation & wish to seek advice outside of my family support as their advice is conflicting with own beliefs and what is best for me & my child.

Has anyone ever experienced dealing with a partner who has substance abuse issues & is incredibly irresponsible with finances to the point they had to live separately.

Thank you Tough love!

You have shared very wise words .

I think I grew up used to life obstacles that nothing fazes me anymore! I am not saying it's been easy! One thing I didn't want is my child growing up in unstable environment as I have with two parents fighting. She's my life & the reason I continue to improve myself! She's a hard case & tough. She will not normalise anything nonsense because I showed her what is unacceptable.

Despite this, I was lucky enough to come out stronger on the other end but am not strong all the time, I suffer with anxiety and sometimes depression but it's not as bad as it once was! I take medication but I slowly reduced it & get off my ass to try and do something about it !!!

Tribpot
Thank you,

Yes there maybe some pressure there. I haven't thought of it properly because I don't talk to anyone on outside. I think deep down I know this, it's either take me back or am off for good. What annoys me is what about his child, he said he will visit her when he comes to UK for work.

What is very cruel is not being completely honest about the eviction notice !

I previously offered him coming to stay a night or couple of days on regular basis to see how we can live to together but he didn't want to cos he didn't see the point! It's all or nothing with him.

He did say he if he can rent out a room in the flat he will as he will help him whilst he's gone home to finish his house he's building. but obviously this depends if he loses the flat or not. Again he has no idea I know about him being taken to court. When I mentioned to him to get a 2nd job to help him with rent and finish his house. I suggested this cos at least he's still around for our child. Obviously if he loses the apartment then he will leave to go home.

It would be much more damaging for your child to have this guy move in and then you have to throw him out again - for infidelity, for financial irresponsibility, for drug taking - take your pick. Far better that he is a presence (of sort) in her life outside the safety of home.

This above is my absolute main concern!!! Thank you for being totally spot on !

Dancer,

Thank u for your message.

Did your situation improve 🙈