WtFlyingF is wrong with my mother?

[P1ffdOv]

It's driving me mad. She's driving me mad. I can't put my finger on it but oh my dear god it's pushing all the fecking buttons for WW3.

I ask her not to do something, but she does it.
She makes a point of saying she was grammar schooled yet can't pronounce basic words properly or refuses to e.g. Whaaa rather than what, meeeegrain rather than migraine etc.
She can't close any door not even a cupboard door without slamming it but says she's not slamming them. Slams the toaster levers down, when asked not and shown all is needed is a gentle push, still slams them down.
Doles out criticism but can't take any.
Is an absolute vicious bitch but can take the same medicine....
Pushes every single damn button I have ...
Is wonderful with DC but an absolute mega bitch with me...what's this all about?!

can't take the same medicine

Can you take a huge step back? Your mental health clearly needs a respite from her.

Do you live with her? I mean, saying meegraine instead of migraine is annoying (my mum does it too) but it doesn’t grind my gears that much

No it's just during visits

but it doesn’t grind my gears that much

I think if it was one or two things in isolation it wouldn't grind my gears that much either. The effect is cumulative I think.

It sounds like resentment has built up over time and now every little thing she does irritates you. Can you put some distance between you for a while? Drop the children off to see her but not spend as much time with her yourself?

Is she living with you or just visiting? If she is living with you, do you have any other siblings that you might be able to get her to stay with for a 'visit' (dressed up as a holiday) while you defuse?
If she is living with you and you can't ship her off for a holiday to another relative, then I'd recommend bringing in some new 'House Rules' and make them simple and straightforward and the first one would be "No slamming of doors/cupboards" followed up with "Speak kindly to each other" and I'm sure you could come up with a few others if you wanted.
If she can't live with simple house rules, then she leaves.

That all does sound annoying, but at the same time like you are maybe treating her like a child when showing her how to use a toaster. If she doesn't live with you, she can either use her own toaster how she pleases or just stop her using yours, say you'll do it etc.

Does sound like you both need a bit more time apart though!

I only showed her how to use the toaster when she almost pulled it over on itself by slamming down the lever.

Mine is the same I could literally lock my door, and hide the car around the corner so she doesn’t know I’m home! Otherwise my chilled mood is changed in a split second to utter rage

My mum is driving me mental at the moment too, I actually don’t even enjoy speaking to her because she just constantly says stupid things and I’m just trying to keep my mouth closed. She had covid 3 weeks ago and since has gone even crazier! Mothers ey.

Meegraine is British English and mygraine is US English.

@Bettyfromlondon

Meegraine is British English and mygraine is US English.

Mygraine (pronunciation) is also Hiberno-English too. It's just not UK English.

Hope you're doing better today @P1ffdOv.

I'm sure your mother already knows how to use a toaster. It would piss me off if someone tried to tell me how to do something that I'm perfectly capable of working out for myself

@Sugarplumfairy65 I'm sure you know how to read all of the OPs posts, I showed her after the dearly loved fecking biatch almost broke my toaster

[quote P1ffdOv]@Sugarplumfairy65 I'm sure you know how to read all of the OPs posts, I showed her after the dearly loved fecking biatch almost broke my toaster [/quote]
You sound worse than her! How the Fuck can you "almost" break a toaster. Do your mother and yourself a favour and go nc before she gets old and frail and maybe a bit forgetful. God knows how you would treat and talk to her when that happens.

@Sugarplumfairy65 you can almost break a toaster by slamming down the levers, did you not read that from my earlier posts or are you HER ? FFS

Oh and God have I TRIED to go NC !!!

I think that you need to calm down quite a bit. The way you’re talking to posters is extremely unpleasant and completely unnecessary.

How do you try and fail to go NC? If she’s arousing such fury in you and you want to go NC, then what’s stopping you?

NC can take a few goes & then, when the time is right, a firm resolve. If it's what you want to do, don't give in if you get emotional blackmail off anyone.

How old is she and has she always behaved this way?

I've heard of this sort of out of the blue odd behavior from people who are in the very very early stages of dementia.

@Greatoutdoors

Do you live with her? I mean, saying meegraine instead of migraine is annoying (my mum does it too) but it doesn’t grind my gears that much

Sorry to hijack, Is it pronounced "my"grain then? I feel like I do this (say "me"grain) without realising even though I have them myself!

You sound delightful. Has it ever occurred to you that just maybe you drive her mad and she is fighting back?

Honestly, let the poor woman pronounce words the way she wants to and slam doors if she so wishes. What has it got to do with you?

I have gone low contact with my mother as it is such a profoundly negative relationship. I was sick of the snide comments, the guilt tripping and bitching about me behind my back - all while professing to want the "ideal" mother daughter relationship.

I get it OP - take a step back, it's completely worth it.

Maybe she has a lot of pent up anger and resentment.