What was the pivotal moment in your life that defined you wanted to be single for the rest of your life?

[Dragonistai]

For me, it's been one too many bad online dates and not having the tenacity to do it anymore.
I've now hung up my dating app shoes.
I have my daughter, I don't want any more children.. I don't need a man to have more children.
I now am on the road to accepting myself and working on my life and bettering aspects of it.
What was your moment?

Currently still married but DH telling me to abort our (admittedly unplanned) baby. I'm 5 weeks and don't see me being married by time baby bean is born 😭

If I split from dp I wouldn't want a relationship with a man again.

I've had my DC's.

I don't need a relationship with a man for sex.

What other use are they?

I never see relationships I envy, they all seem to consist of women doing all the Wifework with little in return.

Plus there's the high risk of violence.

@RantyAunty

The realisation that no man has ever made my life better.

They have made my life worse and harder in many ways.
That they are selfish by nature and ruled by their dicks.

I think that this should be written in large letters across every single magazine aimed / marketed at women.

Every single day I was with my ex 3years ago! I'm happy being solo I would literally need to bump into someone and have that love at 1st sight thing,otherwise I don't want it 😅 I have found tho people feel sorry for me, it seems not being in a relationship means ive failed at life somehow!

I've had too many disappointments to have any hope of finding a long term loving supportive relationship now.

I've just been ghosted by someone I was chatting to on an app when I told him I wasn't looking for anything casual. I'm getting weary of it all.

I’ve been married twice and my current ex destroyed me mentally. I’m 4 years on from him and only starting to get back on my feet recently. I was the friend who always had a boyfriend, was never single so I’ve decided I’m going to spend the second half of my life in a relationship with myself. I am beyond done with men now,except Eminem, I would absolutely make an exception for him, but only him!

for all those that have lost their beloved DHs xx

@Wildflower922 thank you, it is hard at the moment, we have 2 other children already though so it's not as simple as just leaving 😢

'I never see relationships I envy'

Absolutely this.

We often have the dream of a Prince Charming, but if I look at every single actual real life couple that I actually know, it just isn't the reality.

If I ever feel like I want one, I can just pick any female friend, any one of them, to go for a coffee, and within minutes they'll be ranting about whatever the latest dickheaded thing is their bloke has done.

Finally walking out on my abusive partner of 12 years..

That was 3 years ago.. im post menopause, libido has gone, kids have left home, im happy just being by myself now (been a lone parent for 33 years).
Oh I've also had a lot of partners in my life, so dont feel like i'm missing out on anything! a been there, done that kinda thing..

Looking out for a new dog though

@arethereanyleftatall

When I don't want sex any more (hasn't happened yet but could potentially) there's no way on Earth I'd want a man. They mostly pale in comparison to my female friends in every single way. As for ever living with one again, no thanks.

Exactly this

Being betrayed again and again by liars and ne're do wells. But lastly my husband of 20 years who I thought I'd be with forever just walking out with no warning whatsoever and blocking me never to speak to me again.
I did everything for that man.
And now I'm post menopausal I just can't be arsed with it all.

I can't day I want to be single forever. But I'm 31 and I've had enough. I have two babies. I was desperate for the family life od grown up enjoying- wanted my kids to have all that I did. Then a man I trusted above everyone tore me down and left me with two babies. He's so unreasonable now. Makes me wonder what I ever saw in him. I've tried to do the OLD thing. Felt all 'I am woman hear me roar' after a ONS. But ultimately been left feeling hurt and used. Used for sex. Used for my bloody uterus. I'm now at a point where I'm not sure my soul mate exists. And if he does I don't trust my owm judgement to meet him. I'm done but I'm lonely.

My husband left after 2 years.
I did OLD, got talking to a few handsome fellas but couldn't be arsed with the how was your day tripe.

Then when trying to arrange dates I looked through my diary and realised that I'd rather spend all my free time with myself. Chilling at home with my dogs, seeing friends, long baths with a glass of wine.

I enjoy my own company and I love peace and quiet. I do not intend to disrupt that for a man

*left after 20 years

Dp died

I can honestly say I cannot ever imagine welcoming a man into mine and my daughters life ever again.

I don't think there was a pivotal moment as such but at some point over the last 2 years I've realized that I'm much better off on my own, that I don't need a relationship to make me whole and I that I simply cannot be arsed with being with a man ever again.
I took a long time to get over my last long term relationship and he really fucked with my head. I was in a bad place when that relationship began due to a parent being terminally ill and dying. And that wanker took advantage of that. It's a long story but basically I would never take the risk again of letting someone in my life who was going to screw it up so bad and who was going to gradually and slowly but surely cut off my entire network.

And I love my single life now. I can do what the fuck I want, when I want and just get on with my many hobbies and travelling/wandering

@Mommabear20

Currently still married but DH telling me to abort our (admittedly unplanned) baby. I'm 5 weeks and don't see me being married by time baby bean is born 😭

I'm.sorry @Mommabear that your dh isn't supporting you as you need

The realisation, as i was lying in a hotel bed at 2am, with the ex next to me (farting), that i was desperate to get home, hadnt enjoyed the city break we were on (& i had paid for) and had no feelings for him and was bored. It was just too much like hard work. That was the last time i saw him. Dont miss him at all.

Too much effort for too little or no reward.

I was wondering earlier this evening this very question. I left ExH 3 months ago and moved out with my DS. Ex remains in my life as a Co parent only now. He acts like nothing has happened, hasn't acknowledged the marriage ending and gave me the silent treatment for the last 6 months or so until I moved out. In that sense he's still neglectful, perhaps bordering on controlling because he refuses to engage. He told me that he wouldn't beg me to stay in the marriage and he didn't. I realised it was a waste of my life continuing a sham of a marriage for his convenience.

The sense of relief now I have is immense. Living my day to day life without a silent, uninterested, uncaring, neglectful and passive aggressive husband (and to extent father). I'm only putting up with him in my life for the sake of DS.

I feel less lonely now even though I feel alone as fuck, but I never want to be in relationship or be intimate with a man ever again.

This is an excellent thread. Empowering.

The death of my DH when we were 37. We were so well matched, he was the adored father of my children - no one else will ever come close. Nor do I have the time, between work and DC, to look in any case.

Having the boyfriend of the time tell me 'to get rid of ds half the time if I wanted our relationship to progress.' Ds was 9 at the time.

By the time DS leaves home I might feel like trying again. Then again, I might not.