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Relationships

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Original poster

Farting driving me insane!

61 replies

Ivy2006 · 06/04/2022 08:40

I hope this doesn't make me sound shallow!

I completely understand that farting is natural and something we all do. And I do agree that we should feel comfortable in our relationships to do this in front of each other.

HOWEVER, my partner farts non stop. Literally 20 times a day. It's like he forces it out. I love him more than anything but it's getting to the point I'm perhaps less attracted to him because all I can focus on is the smelly farts haha! Especially come bed time when I want to relax and have a cuddle in bed and all he does is fart. I end up staying on the edge of the bed to avoid to smell. I want him to feel comfortable to do it in front of me but if I need to do it then I usually go to another room and keep it to myself rather than make a song and dance about it.

Am I being shallow?! I've tried talking to him but he just doesn't get it. He's stopped doing it when I've got a drink or food in my hand thankfully but I just can't cope with how often it is.

As well as this, he always says things like 'my bum is itchy' and itches it in front of me. Is this normal to be this open and comfortable? I've never had this in a relationship before. It's like he sees me as a mate. Help!

OP posts:

BlossomValley · 06/04/2022 08:42

That sounds vile.

WhoppingBigBackside · 06/04/2022 08:44

Dump him and find an adult to have a relationship with.

DrCoconut · 06/04/2022 08:44

Sounds like a visit to the dr is in order if he really can't help it. Or all innocently ask him what his boss/customers/friends think of it if you suspect he can help it.

HowIsItMarchAlready · 06/04/2022 08:45

One of the things I couldn't stand about my ex husband.

Original poster

Ivy2006 · 06/04/2022 08:46

@DrCoconut
I've asked him so many times to see a doctor as he may have an allergy or another problem. But he just doesn't see the issue with it! I think he's just a gassy person but feels comfortable enough to do it constantly in front of me without any filters. As I said, sometimes it slips out but to force them out so comfortably in front of me is a bit of a turn off haha

OP posts:

Watchkeys · 06/04/2022 08:46

It's not shallow to dislike it when you tell your partner you don't like something and they insist on disrespecting your wishes.

Does he do it when other people are there, or is it when it's just the two of you? If he's not doing it all the time, then he absolutely can control when he does it, and could make efforts to leave the room or tone it down a bit, out of respect for you.

Also, it's a natural thing, yes, but not for the need to be constant. The healthy response from him would have been to try to respect your wishes and to look into why it's happening so much. If he genuinely is forcing it deliberately when you've said you don't like it, you have bigger problems in your relationship than gas.

ImAvingOops · 06/04/2022 08:47

Familiarity breeds contempt!
He's gotten too comfortable. I couldn't be doing with this - relationships need some discretion and mystery.

Watchkeys · 06/04/2022 08:48

to force them out so comfortably in front of me is a bit of a turn off haha

Why are you 'haha'ing your feelings on this? Your partner is deliberately doing something that turns you off. Have you told him it turns you off him? Have you told him that it's so regular that he's starting to make you feel sick? Have you told him that if he keeps doing it, you'll sleep somewhere else?

Valeriekat · 06/04/2022 08:51

Yuchhh!
Utterly vile and disrespectful. Either he stops or he goes.

Original poster

Ivy2006 · 06/04/2022 08:52

@Watchkeys
Thanks for your response!
He does fart occasionally in front of family and close friends but never as much as he does alone with me. Every time he does it I make a comment and say that's disgusting or go into another room but he sees it as funny.
I do think it's deliberate and I feel he's just so comfortable with me that he doesn't hold back

OP posts:

Original poster

Ivy2006 · 06/04/2022 08:55

@ImAvingOops
Agreed! I've been in relationships before where we are comfortable and sometimes fart in front of each other but never every day! Possibly once in a blue moon and no more than that. I feel like it's a lack of effort and lazy

OP posts:

SpitSpatSpot · 06/04/2022 08:57

As you say, a completely natural function, but this sounds excessive and the ‘comedy’ aspect would be very wearing.
I would speak very plainly to him that you find it a turn off, and if he really can’t help it but won’t see a doctor - suggest charcoal capsules.

JasperJohnsPaintbrush · 06/04/2022 09:07

Am I being shallow?! I've tried talking to him but he just doesn't get it. He's stopped doing it when I've got a drink or food in my hand thankfully but I just can't cope with how often it is.

So he can control himself but chooses not to. This should tell you all you need to know about his lack of respect for you.

It may be a natural function bu this man is using it to be crude which for me, would kill the relationship.

Toloveandtowork · 06/04/2022 09:10

Look mum! Farts out of my bum bum. And my bum is itchy mum. Give me a cuddle mum. Mum, mum, mum. Urg.

Bodgerbarbara · 06/04/2022 09:11

Do it back see how he likes it, tell him you feel like you’re in men behaving badly

Limegreentangerine · 06/04/2022 09:13

Sounds like my 5 year old nephew 😂😂😂

ClemDanFango · 06/04/2022 09:14

This can’t be real. Itchy bum? Piss off

JackieQueen · 06/04/2022 09:15

Maybe he likes that you react every time. It gets attention from you. If you ignore it he might stop or at least cut down a bit.

Itsvalentino · 06/04/2022 09:15

My ex husband farted constantly, I counted one day and he did 48 farts. 48!! That was before and after work, so probably reached 100 with the ones he’d been doing at work.

My family used to comment that despite my cleaning, air fresheners and candles, my house smelt of farts.

Note: EX HUSBAND.

Didn’t divorce him for farting, we divorced because I was no longer attracted to him, I wonder why

Pegasushaswings · 06/04/2022 09:17

Yuk, I used to work with someone who farted loads , thankfully not smelly but noisy and he thought it was hilarious. I didn’t. It honestly turned me off him, he was a nice guy but farting deliberately is infantile!

Fortyseven007 · 06/04/2022 09:18

My not so dear H does it too. In a fact all his family does that, especially his father. It’s absolutely disgusting.
I come from family and background ( different country) where this is tabu, we don’t fart in the front of others- never ever.
Not so dear H farts and picks his nose ( eats it)
The second I turn my head away his finger is in his nose.
Scratches his arse, his balls, absolutely disgusting.
Obviously everyone farts but come on- you can make it quiet so nobody would know, if it doesn’t smell that rotten.
We don’t kiss anymore as I just can’t, imagine his mouth was just full of boogies bleeeeeee.

MiddleParking · 06/04/2022 09:25

I don’t agree that it’s something you have to do in front of each other, ever. We don’t and we’ve been together years and married with two kids.

Watchkeys · 06/04/2022 09:34

[quote Ivy2006]@Watchkeys
Thanks for your response!
He does fart occasionally in front of family and close friends but never as much as he does alone with me. Every time he does it I make a comment and say that's disgusting or go into another room but he sees it as funny.
I do think it's deliberate and I feel he's just so comfortable with me that he doesn't hold back [/quote]
If it's deliberate, then holding back isn't relevant. He's deliberately doing something you find disrespectful, to piss you off.

What's he like otherwise? What happens if you express dislike for something else? Does he dismiss you if you say things like 'Could you fold the bag down in the bag of cereal, please?' Does he pull his weight around the house, or scoff at you when you ask him to?

Peachtoiletpaper · 06/04/2022 09:34

You're not shallow, he is being deliberately vulgar. You've not told him to stop farting full stop, you've asked him to stop doing it deliberately in front of you all the time. And to stop scratching his arse openly. I notice you keep saying 'haha' and questioning whether you're shallow. This is seriously offputting behaviour and you are not in the wrong asking him to pack it in. Have you had a serious conversation making clear this isn't a joke, it's affecting your attraction to him? If not, I'd start there.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 06/04/2022 09:35

My ex husband was like this.
Gave me the ick.

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