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Original poster

How true is the saying, "Don't leave a job unless you have another job to go to."

55 replies

cubiclejockey · 05/04/2022 02:39

Just looking for opinions and experiences. I have never quit a job in my life, not that I deserve a medal for that. In fact, I think I have poor boundaries and have put up with more than I should have over the years. I am in a career that is not unionized nor is it in the private sector. I have been an educational administrator for about 25 years. Long story short, I have been in my current job for about 2 years and it has almost brought me to my knees in terms of workload and other issues. For each day I work, I wake with intrusive thoughts of everything I have to do and have horrible anxiety even sending emails for fear of responses (which I lovely refer to as "email bombs"). I am, on the face of things, calm and capable but I am struggling massively at the moment. Because of my age (fuck it, 50), I fear if I quit, I will not get hired again, or at least not for a long time. I know several woman, senior to me, who have lost jobs and have struggled to find employment again. But I feel I can't continue to live the way I am living right now in terms of my work situation.

My home life is good, and my partner works fulltime but enjoys the job more than I do. We are pretty equal in terms of workload and salary. We live in a major city and need the double income to remain there. My partner's career means we need to be central. I have a 15 year old daughter and I don't want to model my current job situation for her (at the very least, I hope I am a deterrent for the conventional office job model). I am not looking to internet strangers for permission to quit, but I would welcome life experience stories of either coping with a bad situation, leaving a bad situation, or otherwise. Thank you.

OP posts:
RantyAunty · 05/04/2022 02:48

Put your CV out there and see what happens.

I'm not sure what an education administrator does or what the pay range is like. Depending on what your skills are, you could likely move to a different role using those skills.

AlexaShutUp · 05/04/2022 02:51

I have done it twice. Once because I was desperately unhappy in a toxic environment. And once because I loved the team but knew it just wasn't the right job for me. I was in my twenties the first time. Sailing close to fifty the second time.

I am the main breadwinner so it was a risk as we are pretty much entirely dependent on my income, but I was fortunate enough to have decent savings behind me that gave me a bit of a buffer, and I felt confident that I would find something else soon enough. It was fine, and I found the right job relatively quickly on each occasion - perhaps a little longer the second time round, but not to the point that we had to burn through all of our savings!

Life's too short to be miserable. If you have enough of a financial cushion to be able to take a short term hit, and skills that make you reasonably employable, then go for it!

Monty27 · 05/04/2022 03:40

It's about not feeling or appearing desperate on your CV. More as though you actually want the job.
I think so anyway.
However if you aren't in employment you could also work out a positive and not a negative.
Hope that makes sense.
Good luck 🤞

theculture · 05/04/2022 05:30

I did hear someone on a radio interview say (they were some kind of employment expert) is that if you leave/loose your job for whatever reason - if you don't have a job by 3 months afterwards it's much harder to get back into a job then

theculture · 05/04/2022 05:32

. . So that would imply it's better to look from a job rather than leave first

carefullycourageous · 05/04/2022 05:41

A few thoughts. I've just gone through (nearly over) a horrible time at work. I have cut my hours and moved sideways, in order to give space to reflect.

It is better to find another job than just leave. However, if you have to, it is better to just leave than have a breakdown or be made ill. You also have the option of sick leave if you feel overwhelmed.

In your situation I would try to apply for everything I could. What size is your organisation? Are there any internal options like secondments?

Is there any manager you can speak to? Have you raised your workload concerns in writing?

Sorry this is happening to you Brew

BlitzenThrough · 05/04/2022 07:27

Totally depends on the job market at the time. If jobs are rare and hard to get you will likely have trouble. If there's more jobs than people applying (which seems to be the case where I am right now) then you won't have a problem. I've always had a job before leaving another but the last job I had I walked out two weeks before Christmas due to poor treatment. Was worried as hell about the future. A month later after Christmas was out of the way I landed my dream job and been there ever since (5 years now). Things sometimes happen for a reason and everything all works out in the end.

Original poster
cubiclejockey · 05/04/2022 14:08

I really appreciate all of your responses and, quite frankly, the empathy. I apply for jobs regularly and am actively looking. I'm not sure about the current climate but in my past experience, job hunting takes time and I'm not sure if I can tolerate my situation for as long as it will take for me to find something else. But we shall see. In the meantime I have signed myself up for therapy! So hopefully that will help make things clearer. To be honest, I have never known what it is like to "enjoy" work. My partner says that part of my problem is that I have made myself senior in a field that I just don't like. I kind of fell into it after I graduated from university because I had to pay off my student loans and then just kept going to pay the bills. Now, I don't know what else I can do as it feels too late to shift gears/retrain. But I am examining that angle too. Thank you again for sharing your perspectives.

OP posts:
pointythings · 05/04/2022 14:44

Well, I'm doing just that - leaving without another job to go to. My current job is trashing my mental health. And I'm 54.

I suppose it depends on your skill set - I have a lot of transferable skills and experience - and what you're planning to do in your time away. I have very structured plans that I will be able to evidence on a CV.

It also depends on your job and your field of work as to whether you will be able to step back in or not. Mine is not that hard (admin in the NHS) - there are so many jobs out there that trusts are struggling to fill. If you're a super high flier in a niche field, it's harder.

fluffiphlox · 05/04/2022 14:50

I did it once years ago but in the event I was only unemployed for about three weeks. Things might be different these days but there are a lot of staff shortages in some sectors, I’m not sure about education though.

Bonheurdupasse · 05/04/2022 14:52

Can you do contract work/ agency/ temping

MajorCarolDanvers · 05/04/2022 14:58

If you can afford to then just go for it and quit. Life is too short to be miserable.

At the moment recruitment in this country is crazy. There has never been a better time to look for a job. Salaries for new starts are up 10-20%. And employers are competing for good candidates.

If you are good, then a new employer not only wont care that you are not in work they will be delighted that you can start quickly.

I say all this as someone who has done a lot of recruiting in the third sector in the last 2 years.

As a recruiter then only thing that makes me uneasy is someone who is repeatedly changing jobs very 6-12 months.

ProfYaffle · 05/04/2022 15:03

I did this at the end of last year. Had a job offer within 24hrs. And I'm 50 Grin i work in education hr, we're really short of admin candidates!

Yika · 05/04/2022 15:05

I don’t think there is any right answer here. Sometimes you just have to leap off the cliff, to allow yourself to start exploring other options from a clean slate. Of course it’s a risk. I’d advise thinking through what you would do in the worst case scenario of not finding something new after x months. I think you are stuck in your role through fear. But realistically you might have other options.

Other ideas might be to drop your hours and use the spare time to explore different interests and professions, or take a

Silverclocks · 05/04/2022 15:05

I think I probably do the same job as you OP and I'm 51.

I've applied for a few jobs lately and am finding it much harder than I did when I was applying 5 years ago, which could be because I'm looking at more senior jobs or could be because of my age.

I will say, as a recruiter, I've never made a successful appointment of someone who left a job without one to go to. Although it's true they can seem like good news because they can start quickly, they seem to often have a lot of baggage, so I am wary of those applicants now.

Have you tried applying whilst still in your job?

Yika · 05/04/2022 15:05

…Sabbatical!

Original poster
cubiclejockey · 05/04/2022 15:07

Thanks again. All of those things I am weighing up. If I were to quit outright, I would make looking for a job my fulltime gig. I guess I am a bit worried about "ageism" too if I stepped back. As I said before, I know at least four women in their mid fifties who found themselves out of work and it took a long time for them to get hired again. Ultimately, I worry about making myself vulnerable. That being said, I feel like I cannot continue working like this until I retire in 15 years. Something needs to change. If it helps to clarify, I am an admin in the higher education sector.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 05/04/2022 15:07

You could set a time limit for job hunting. Say 3 months of intensively going for it.

Silverclocks · 05/04/2022 15:09

Maybe you should get signed off with work related stress rather than resign just now.....?

TeacupDrama · 05/04/2022 15:17

can you intensively save for 3 months just pay your bills and buy nothing other than essentials to give yourself extra breathing space

RazorstormUnicorn · 05/04/2022 15:19

I usually have another job lined up before leaving but in 2019 it all got too much. My boss asked me how I would cope with the increased workload coming as I was already struggling (doing 1.3 jobs) so I told her I quit.

I took a short break from work and did a charity placement. On return I didn't want a permanent job as I was worried history would repeat itself.

Did two 8 month contracts one after another and the work was more interesting and the bosses there thought I was best thing since sliced bread which really boosted my confidence. I was late thirties when I did this.

I know when my Dad got made redundant in his fifties he was worried about finding something else. So I won't tell you to just do it.

If you can hold out and get a new job first, that is better but if it gets too much don't be afraid to quit. You'll have more time and space to apply for new roles and talk to recruiters. Also remember the next job doesn't have to be forever. It could be a stop gap and breathing space before deciding what you want to do. After 25 years, your CV will still look ok!

Original poster
cubiclejockey · 05/04/2022 15:43

I am finding all of your responses really helpful, thank you. Ultimately I am trying to figure out what I can give myself permission to do in terms of next steps. It is true that I feel stuck in my situation out of fear of the unknown. But I am also fearful/stressed in my job and my confidence is low. I no longer know if the problem is me or my situation. I have a massive amount of responsibility but no authority in my role. To add to that, I have recently been reassigned to an entirely different portfolio than I was hired for because of a returning maternity leave placement. I would not have applied for this job with this new job description. I really dislike how much work consumes my life with no enjoyment and I don't want to model that for my kid. Now I am just complaining but it helps to let it all out on an impartial platform. Thanks again.

OP posts:
chisanunian · 05/04/2022 15:53

Oh blimey, I'd have to walk away from that. I have done it before (I did talk it through with dh first as it had an impact on our finances), and it was the best thing I could have done for my mental health. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it was to walk out of that door for the last time, knowing that I never had to go back.

50 is not old in the workplace, not now they've moved the state pension age.

Musttryharder2021 · 05/04/2022 16:33

@MajorCarolDanvers

If you can afford to then just go for it and quit. Life is too short to be miserable.

At the moment recruitment in this country is crazy. There has never been a better time to look for a job. Salaries for new starts are up 10-20%. And employers are competing for good candidates.

If you are good, then a new employer not only wont care that you are not in work they will be delighted that you can start quickly.

I say all this as someone who has done a lot of recruiting in the third sector in the last 2 years.

As a recruiter then only thing that makes me uneasy is someone who is repeatedly changing jobs very 6-12 months.

@MajorCarolDanvers

Could you explain why it would make you feel uneasy if someone is repeatedly changing jobs every 6-12 months?

I've done just that more or less for that last 10 years which has increased my salary from 24k to 30k, allowed me to purchase a property on my own and have a child. The jobs I've been moving into and from don't require any specific qualifications or training it's all muscle memory. After passing the probation I feel I'm good to go again and look for a better paying position. Most of these jobs are grossly underpaid anyway and exploit staff to the max. Why should anyone have any loyalty??

CornishGem1975 · 05/04/2022 16:53

I've done it and never looked back BUT I was in a very good financial position with a DH that could easily support the household. I couldn't do it in the situation I am in now, but at that time it was the best thing I did.

I'm changing jobs now, wasn't in a major panic to do it but the job market is good at the moment and it's meant five-figure salary increase which is too much to turn down!

If I were you, I'd probably stay put for now but make a really concerted effort into finding something else - being proactive in preparing for a change and looking for a job, applying to roles etc really helped my mindset at work.

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