How true is the saying, "Don't leave a job unless you have another job to go to."

[cubiclejockey]

Just looking for opinions and experiences. I have never quit a job in my life, not that I deserve a medal for that. In fact, I think I have poor boundaries and have put up with more than I should have over the years. I am in a career that is not unionized nor is it in the private sector. I have been an educational administrator for about 25 years. Long story short, I have been in my current job for about 2 years and it has almost brought me to my knees in terms of workload and other issues. For each day I work, I wake with intrusive thoughts of everything I have to do and have horrible anxiety even sending emails for fear of responses (which I lovely refer to as "email bombs"). I am, on the face of things, calm and capable but I am struggling massively at the moment. Because of my age (fuck it, 50), I fear if I quit, I will not get hired again, or at least not for a long time. I know several woman, senior to me, who have lost jobs and have struggled to find employment again. But I feel I can't continue to live the way I am living right now in terms of my work situation.

My home life is good, and my partner works fulltime but enjoys the job more than I do. We are pretty equal in terms of workload and salary. We live in a major city and need the double income to remain there. My partner's career means we need to be central. I have a 15 year old daughter and I don't want to model my current job situation for her (at the very least, I hope I am a deterrent for the conventional office job model). I am not looking to internet strangers for permission to quit, but I would welcome life experience stories of either coping with a bad situation, leaving a bad situation, or otherwise. Thank you.

@Musttryharder2021

Could you explain why it would make you feel uneasy if someone is repeatedly changing jobs every 6-12 months?

I've done just that more or less for that last 10 years which has increased my salary from 24k to 30k, allowed me to purchase a property on my own and have a child. The jobs I've been moving into and from don't require any specific qualifications or training it's all muscle memory. After passing the probation I feel I'm good to go again and look for a better paying position. Most of these jobs are grossly underpaid anyway and exploit staff to the max. Why should anyone have any loyalty??

To answer your question - 2 or 3 short term contracts wouldn't bother me. That would suggest to me that someone was building up their experience. But a long term pattern would make me wonder if they couldn't or wouldn't stay anywhere longer. Did they have commitment issues? Would they only stay in the role I was appointing to for 6-12 months?

However it sounds if you are in quite a different field you say jobs are grossly underpaid anyway and exploit staff to the max. Why should anyone have any loyalty??

The organisations I have worked for and recruited for do not under pay staff or exploit them and in fact treat their employees very well.

The problem with leaving a job without having another job to go to is that finding a new job may take longer than you think. Suppose your take-home pay is £1000 a month, and you're out of work for 3 months. Then you're £3000 out of pocket. If £2000, then after 3 months you will be £6000 out of pocket.

Yeah, I am pretty much resigned that I will need to keep going until I find another job. Hopefully some therapy will help along the way too. I appreciate everyone who took the time to respond. Thanks again.

Awful isn’t it @cubiclejockey in a similar position. In a job where I have lots of responsibility without any authority which is actually quite a toxic recipe in my role. I’m leaving but currently working my notice, my employers have taken and taken and taken from me until I feel like a husk.

There's a prevalent view that you should never leave a job without another one, but that can actually make a person feel even more trapped and depressed.

I've done it and I've known others who did it too. For all of us it worked out fine and in many cases lead to much better paying jobs.

It is a risk and you do need to plan, but it's important to put your own health and wellbeing first.

I think that firstly you need to take some leave (annual or sick) as you sound burned out with work related stress. You can use that time to have a rethink and look at what is out there. Personally, although I have (and landed on my feet by chance but not in a straightforward way) I would not leave without a new job to go to because your job should not be making you this stressed so you should explore other avenues first, including telling your manager that you are on the brink of leaving because of how stressed you are. They may be able to magic up some support, even temorarily, if they realise.

I did it once. I had tried to stick it out for two years. AL was rubbish so couldn't get time off for interviews. I'd had enough one day and resigned. I found a temp job within a couple of weeks and another permanent job a couple of weeks after. Temp job offered me a perm role as well

From taking redundancy in. 2020 from my 2nd job in nearly 34 years, I've had a couple since then.
I quit the last one in November because it was causing me some stress. I do have a buffer, so had no interest in rushing back into employment. Have only applied for one job since then. The first question asked at the interview was why I left the previous post, I was absolutely honest. And I start there next week.
I'm 55.

Ideally it's much better to have a job lined up before you quit. Of course.
But if your mental health is collapsing, that changes things.
So, especially if you have a small financial cushion, maybe you should just get out.
Is taking sick leave an option while you consider what you want? Maybe tell your GP you're not coping and its making you very unwell, and go from there.

It is usually true, but if the job you're in has you so stressed out that you're not energetic and confident in your job-seeking and not at your best in interviews then finding a way to get away from work (even if it's only temporary) is a good idea.
Freelancing/temping/ contracting a few days a week could be an option, while you recuperate or jobseek.
If you've got sick/annual leave saved up, you could use that to rest/ recover/ network with potential employers.
I hope your therapy helps in building up your confidence, it can also be a great way of identifying options and solutions that you're too caught up in your difficulties to see.
You sound like you are very capable and employable, but it's good to have a solid plan in mind when changing jobs at our age!

Sounds really stressful and I fully identify with getting quite senior in a field you don't truly enjoy then feeling painted into a corner. I decided to retrain, is there anything you'd like to retrain into- I know plenty of people go into teaching, nursing, midwifery, social work in their 50s?

Alternatively, your work sounds very transferable (just going on what you've said about educational admin), what about civil service or NHS just to broaden your opportunities as you're in a big city? Apologies if you've already thought of these things.

To answer your original point from my POV, I have a dear friend who has left a job that was mentally untenable without another to go to. Luckily he has savings and low living costs but it is still a big source of stress. I think it is a question of weighing up whether your current role would be more stressful than a period of financial insecurity, particularly if this became prolonged more than a month or two. Say if the right jobs just aren't out there.

Would you consider getting signed off for a while with stress as a middle ground, just so you had that pay, and use the period to job hunt full time?

At the moment recruitment in this country is crazy. There has never been a better time to look for a job. Salaries for new starts are up 10-20%. And employers are competing for good candidates. I’m interested to know where this idea has come from, and if it’s true, why is unemployment so high?

I think it’s fair to say that it’s easy to get a job in hospitality, but in other areas it definitely isn’t. I’m in London area and it’s routine for job adverts to be closed early because of numbers of applicants, for essential criteria to be increased because of numbers of applicants. Admittedly I have a disability and it’s therefore almost impossible for me personally to find a job but in terms of others I know it really isn’t as simple as others seem to be saying.

I always found a job before moving on except after my dc was born and my mental health declined then I became a sahm for a couple of years. If I be was really unhappy I would look for any job to n tide me over until I found the right one.

As the main issue is workload, could you discuss that with your line manager to see whether something can be done? They won't want to lose you as an experienced and senior member of staff.

If not, could you resign yourself to being very busy within your working hours but be very strict about stopping at a certain time and not looking at emails or thinking about work after that. Hopefully the therapy will help with that. If work piles up, so what, you told them the workload was unmanageable and they didn't act. It's a jobseekers market at the moment. We just need to stand up for ourselves and stop letting our employers pile excessive responsibilities onto amenable staff who are being taken for granted.

can you join an agency.
i was let go and joined an agency and was never out of work after that

I used to believe this and thought people who quit work with nothing to go to were stupid.

I've ended up doing it twice over the years - once it was forced as my relationship ended and I had to move areas. The second time it was a choice as I was struggling with my MH and my workplace dealt with it in the most appalling way.

Both times it worked out just fine and when I quit my last job (where I had MH issues) I set my up my own business which is now thriving and I've never been happier.

While in general it's sensible to have another job lined up, life doesn't always work out that way and that's okay too.

while you are looking i think you need to make some changes in your work or go off sick

I did it but that was back in my 20s when I had no kids or mortgage, some savings and it coincided with me moving I with my now dh after renting alone so my costs were actually going down. I was teaching and really not coping, and teachers notice periods are quite long so I just decided to go for it. As it was I had lined up an admin job to go to by the time I actually finished, which was fine as a stop gap for a year while I found something better, albeit a big pay cut. I've never regretted leaving.

I guess for you the questions are - would you be willing to take 'anything within reason if you needed to? I know you said you need two salaries, but can you afford one of them to be lower? As you have so much admin experience, could you look into temp agencies? If not it seems a big risk to leave, but if you do have some flexibility and "wiggle room" it could be just what you need.

OP
What bits of your job DO you like, or feel the most comfortable doing?
Being organised? Using software? Attention to detail?
Education administrators are so valuable and have so many skills, but ( I've worked in education for awhile, but not in HE) I see them getting more and more 'dumped on' and in many cases not valued.

You have 20 years of working life left. Have you thought about retraining? Perhaps in project management, accounting or compliance ? Have you looked at some of the office based roles in the construction industry?

Have you looked at apprenticeships? There isn't an age restriction any more and there are some cracking opportunities.

Can you use the Easter holidays to fill out application forms and look for new roles. Schools often recruit in line with the school year so you might find more roles coming up in the summer term for a September start. If you are looking outside education into more general admin roles, use agencies, give them your cv and they should put you forward for roles without having to fill out lots of forms.

There is a loyalty penalty for staying in the same job for a long time, at least in most companies I would say.

You've been in the job for about 2 years so this is an ideal time to move. Your skills and experience sound highly transferable, so I wouldn't just be looking for work in the same sector. Contact recruiters and job agencies, go in Indeed and LinkedIn.

Wow, I really appreciate all of this advice. All of which is very feasible and helpful. I have thought about retraining but am not sure what to do. I have thought about scaling back and taking a lower-key role but still not sure what to do. Have thought about changing sectors but still not sure what to do. To be honest I haven't even considered stress leave because I fear lack of support and stigma. I hope to be able to unpack some of this in therapy and get resolve to figure out next steps. It all feels a bit hopeless at the moment which is frustrating.

Keep talking here

Thank you @Bodgerbarbara. I will.

My thoughts.

You could take a short "stress" leave, maybe a month. Its valid from what you describe about your MH. Use this time to think about other jobs and so forth, and have a rest!

Personally, I think its better to have a job already if you are looking for a new one. I just think you seem less desperate and less volatile. I never did it myself though - I always left crappy office jobs and temped or whatever!

Though you could always say you took a 6 months sabbatical - you wanted to travel (whatever), maybe even do some. Life's too short.

But of course, all this is affected by your finances and how much you need the money - would you be on the streets, etc. Or would you manage fairly OK for a while. It can take a while to find a job you really want or really like, anything up to a year.