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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How did you meet your partner?

65 replies

bananatwain · 04/04/2022 17:33

I'm really lonely. I've been single for over three years. I've dated and not met the right person yet. I was in a very abusive relationship before so am being careful, listening to red flags, and looking for someone who I really think I'm compatible with. I am glad I'm at a point in my life where I can do this, but I honestly am close to giving up. One guy seemed great, but then kept turning up at my house randomly when I was working so I called it off due to lack of boundaries. Went on a date with someone who seemed great until he had a drink and kept commenting on my beasts. Went on an date with someone I met online who had clearly used photos from years ago and lied about his age. I have a few more of these!

I also still live with my parents and can't afford to move out, and also have a 3yo, but think I am deserving of love regardless....

I'd really like to hear some positive stories about how you met your other half?

OP posts:
mycatsarecool · 04/04/2022 20:41

Tinder- I think OLD can be an awful experience, so many creeps, bores, weirdos etc to contend with, not to mention emotionally draining if you get talking to someone that seems half decent then suddenly ghosts you..
Anyway, I was about to give up altogether and delete my profile when I got talking to dp. He just seemed different and we eventually met. We are together now 18 months and have a little one on the way. He was worth wading through all the losers for!

sophienelisse · 04/04/2022 20:45

Worked with him for a few years and were friends first.

We'd both split from our partners and a few months after that on a work meal it ended up just being us two and it just felt like a date

Kangaruby · 04/04/2022 20:51

Online. Are you ready to be dating? I really think you have to be happy in yourself first. After my abusive relationship, it took me around 3 years to get back to who I was. If you are ready great, enjoy it, dating can be lots of fun.

PrincessPaws · 04/04/2022 20:58

Tinder, been together 7.5 years, married 1

altmember · 04/04/2022 21:12

Met through my ex (long after we'd split up). They were best friends, but no longer are.

OLD is probably the easier way to go! You absolutely do need to be thick skinned and in the right frame of mind for it though.

D0lphine · 04/04/2022 21:14

I downloaded mine from the internet Grin

Turningpurple · 04/04/2022 21:20

In my best friends kitchen. I came in and started talking to her and didn't see him, stood in the corner to my right until she pointed him out 😁. Together 4 years.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 04/04/2022 21:24

On a language course in Italy 36 years ago.

MarineBlue33 · 04/04/2022 21:25

I have a friend who is a single mum with 3 kids who has been with her boyfriend of 3 months- also a single dad. She is renting and is in a NMW Jon. She met him online.
What she does have is confidence and is a positive person.
Go out, do stuff you enjoy, exercise, get help with your self esteem. Go out with friends to events and be of the mind that you are going to enjoy yourself, whether you meet someone or not.

Youknownothingsnow · 04/04/2022 21:30

Online but it was luck more than anything! I met some horrors on there and the messages saying “hi” or worse “what are you up to” clearly not even reading your profile. I had written something about a niche programme I love that was dark comedy and he loved it too and messaged me about the last episode. Been together nearly 8 years and getting married next month! Would have been two years ago but had had to postpone due to Covid 😆

totallyoutnumbered · 04/04/2022 21:36

My best friend introduced us

DeathByMascara · 04/04/2022 21:39

I met DH while backpacking 15 years ago. So probably not the ideal way for you to go.

My best mate was at the end of her tether with OLD, pretty much given up, checked Tinder one day during the early days of covid and reconnected with a primary school classmate. They moved in together after about 2 months and are currently house hunting. Babies and wedding bells hoped for in the near future.

I hope you find someone wonderful, everyone deserves love in their life.

Pyewhacket · 04/04/2022 21:45

University, queuing for chips at the refectory.

BabyNo11989 · 04/04/2022 21:46

Tinder… surprisingly there are a few decent ones on there. Friends have also had luck!

True, there’s also a lot of wrongens and I was also ready to give up. It can be so disheartening.

Then one day, totally by chance, in a different area entirely to where I lived, flicking through the profiles just for a nose… up he popped. A few dates and I knew he’s the one for me… you just need a bit of luck, at the right time. They are out there OP. There is somebody for everyone

BeReet · 04/04/2022 21:52

At university - we were set up on a blind date by my friend and his friend who were dating. That was 30yrs ago.

TerribleCustomerCervix · 04/04/2022 22:30

I was a union rep, he was our organiser from head office.

We were friends first for about a year though.

I know A LOT of engaged or married people who met through Tinder though.

breadedchicken · 04/04/2022 22:40

Worked together in a bar in our mid 20's. Got drunk after work and slept together despite not getting on that well up to that point. Married 8 years and have 2 kids.

Dogknowsbest · 04/04/2022 22:40

I've only been dating mine a few months. I was in his restaurant thought he had a really charismatic personality - just something about him. So I left him my number. He called me the next day. Still new and fresh but he is the most compatible partner I've ever had. I know it sounds weird but be brave, talk to people and if you like the look of someone go for it.

LadyCatStark · 04/04/2022 22:47

In the sauna at the gym 16 years ago!

maras2 · 04/04/2022 22:51

October 1968 on the way to a Young Socialist's meeting.
Still here over 50 years later, still Socialists, still in love. Smile

RosesAndHellebores · 04/04/2022 23:01

@TerribleCustomerCervix - that's a brilliant recognition agreement.

FWIW OP just live your life. Work at work, Foster interests and live the best life you can, that way it doesn't matter and even if your Prince never comes along you can still be happy and fulfilled:

Choir
Drama
Painting
Bridge
Tennis
Join a political party
Volunteer for a charity

Mamawarrior · 04/04/2022 23:09

Plumber who came to do work at my house 😀 my heart flipped as soon as I laid eyes on him and I knew he was the one for me

CharSiu · 05/04/2022 01:17

A conference, was engaged but I broke it off.
At work, married for 23 years.

PlainJaneEyre · 05/04/2022 01:19

Plenty of Fish.

AlwaysLatte · 05/04/2022 01:23

At a mutual hobby. Definitely worth signing up to a load of classes doing things you like.