How do you move on from a row?

[Stormchaser1502]

I hate rowing and I hate confrontation. It always ends up with Dh being really arrogant and cocky, and me being truly sad for a day or two, although trying to portray that I’m fine.

Yesterday he was horrid all day. Cold and fiesty. I kept really calm and continued to be ‘happy’. He continued to pick at me.
It ends in a row, he swore at me and walked off while I was making dinner. (He was sat drinking a beer and playing on his phone). The row was me asking him how his hobby had been that day and him too tired to reply so told me I was nagging!! He then told me to F off and walked away. I said what about dinner and he said ‘F* your dinner!’

Ten mins later, I called ‘dinner’ and my dc and I sat at the table and continued to eat without him. He didn’t arrive so we left his on the table and cleared up.
I slept on the sofa. I’ve never ever done this in 25 years of marriage but the way he was to me yesterday was disgusting!!

Today he called at lunchtime and acted as if nothing happened. When I was quiet and confused, he told me to move on!! I said I couldn’t as I can’t get past some of the things he said to me.

How do I ‘just move on’?

This makes me so sad. This was my life until 5 years ago. Word for word. I decided that being alone was far better than being lonely in an emotionally abusive marriage and my children deserved better. Since then, we've moved. Had to cut finances but the 3 of us have never been happier. No treading on eggshells wondering what mood Dad will be in. No gaslighting or stonewalling. He could ignore me and punish me for days and go about his business talking to the children as if nothing was happening. Crazy making behaviour. I left. The best decision I ever made. Liberated and free doesn't come close to how I feel. I'm now with the
most lovely man who makes me feel valued every single day. He left a very similar situation. The 3 years I was alone at times could have felt lonely and I missed my children when they went to their Dad's but I filled my time and reached out to friends who only wanted to support me. I'd hidden so much from them out of shame and embarrassment. Please don't waste any more of your precious time or your children's childhood. Show them what healthy boundaries look like. I couldn't live with myself if my children thought an abusive relationship was normal and strive every day to show them what they deserve for themselves. You can do this. Start by telling one friend xx