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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship disagreement

32 replies

Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:05

Hi all,

I hope you can settle a dispute my partner and I have had;

Over the last 6 months or so my partner hasn't had a car as they sold it. So during this time I offered up my car (when I wasn't using it for work) for them to use as and when they need. The same as I am with any of my stuff they want to use.

Over the weekend we repaced my partners car with a family suv. I asked if I could borrow it to drop something off at my parents as it won't fit in my car, my partner has said no, I'm not allowed to use their car as they don't trust my driving... And that they're well within their right to not allow me to use anything of theirs.

When I turned round and suggested maybe my partner should use my stuff anymore (slightly pettty I know) they said I was being ridiculous and not living in the real world.

I know I have no right to assume I can use my partners stuff but I'm slightly upset they couldn't show me the same courtesy.

What are youre thoughts please?

OP posts:
SpringSparrow · 02/04/2022 11:09

So your partner has happily been driving your car around for the last six months but you aren’t allowed to drive their car?! Is there any truth in you driving badly?! I wouldn’t be lending any of my stuff to your partner. He sounds like a knob.

JustHereWithPopcorn · 02/04/2022 11:12

They sound sound like they appreciate you or view you equally.

NoSquirrels · 02/04/2022 11:13

I'm slightly upset

My thoughts are that you’re under reacting.

Over the weekend we repaced my partners car with a family suv.

Well, presumably “we” didn’t do anything - he did. And whilst it may be ‘a family SUV’ it’s not your family SUV if you can’t use it.

Do you live together or have DC together?

Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:14

My partner says I drive like I'm in a sports car and change gears too erratically

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 02/04/2022 11:14

I would raise my foot, connect it with his arse, and propell them through the open front door then slam and lock said front door

NoSquirrels · 02/04/2022 11:14

He gets to run errands then - he can drop stuff off at your parents.

Do you agree with his assessment of your driving?

Rememberitwell · 02/04/2022 11:17

Is the family car for your family?

Maybeitstimeforachange · 02/04/2022 11:24

I don’t drive but I know my partner would never allow me to drive their car. However if you contributed to it financially then I think she’s being unreasonable.

Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:26

No I don't think theirs anything wrong with my driving

OP posts:
Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:27

@NoSquirrels

I'm slightly upset

My thoughts are that you’re under reacting.

Over the weekend we repaced my partners car with a family suv.

Well, presumably “we” didn’t do anything - he did. And whilst it may be ‘a family SUV’ it’s not your family SUV if you can’t use it.

Do you live together or have DC together?

Yes we live and have kids together
OP posts:
Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:27

@Rememberitwell

Is the family car for your family?
Yes our family
OP posts:
RewildingAmbridge · 02/04/2022 11:28

Of course he's being unreasonable. However MIL is no longer allowed to use use the little sporty Mazda (old one) as if she gets one more speeding fine/points she will lose her licence. She doesn't do it in the other car only that one. They're selling it. This is the only scenario where that might be in any way reasonable.
Also you say we and family car, did you contribute towards it? If so he can fuck off twice.

Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:28

@Maybeitstimeforachange

I don’t drive but I know my partner would never allow me to drive their car. However if you contributed to it financially then I think she’s being unreasonable.
2/5 their money the rest from joint finances
OP posts:
EthicalNonMahogany · 02/04/2022 11:29

Who paid for the car - is it a family car?

Maybeitstimeforachange · 02/04/2022 11:30

What if you have the agreement that if you damage/have speeding fines you pay for it out of your money as you have some separate finances?

NoSquirrels · 02/04/2022 11:31

You have joint finances? Shock

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 02/04/2022 11:32

What a catch op...

Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:32

@EthicalNonMahogany

Who paid for the car - is it a family car?
It's my partners car but we paid most of it with joint finances as we needed a big 7 seater.
OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 02/04/2022 11:33

How is the rest of your financial arrangement and working/living arrangement? If you’re not married and you have DC you need to be careful. His attitude to this car seems like it can’t come out of nowhere.

Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:34

@NoSquirrels

You have joint finances? Shock
Yes all our monetly goes into 1 pot
OP posts:
Maybeitstimeforachange · 02/04/2022 11:34

All the money can’t be in 1 pot if your partner has her own money to contribute to 2/5 of the car.

Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:36

@Maybeitstimeforachange

All the money can’t be in 1 pot if your partner has her own money to contribute to 2/5 of the car.
The 2/5 was the money my partner got from the sale of their car
OP posts:
Maybeitstimeforachange · 02/04/2022 11:37

So did the 1st car come out of joint money too?

Campervangirl · 02/04/2022 11:37

@Georgeskitchen

I would raise my foot, connect it with his arse, and propell them through the open front door then slam and lock said front door
This, it made me laugh but definitely this. Your oh is a twat
Idislikeblippy · 02/04/2022 11:38

@Maybeitstimeforachange

So did the 1st car come out of joint money too?
No it was my money.
OP posts:
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